bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №99030
 09.06.2014
We discussed the dress for the wedding:
I’ll go to the store when the money comes. I will see and decide whether to buy or sew.
Q: Why don’t you go now?
X: There is no money.
Q: Why don’t you just die?
X: O_O
X: to die! to move to write!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №99029
 09.06.2014
That’s why people don’t understand technicians.

From Habr:

xxx: Three doors are projections of the back on three mutually perpendicular axes.

yyy: three mutually perpendicular axes. that is. Can you draw seven perpendicular lines?

XXX: What is this? Do you have trouble imagining an ordinary 7-dimensional space?


[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №99028
 09.06.2014
An unrealistic level of mimicry is established: Natalia Poklonskaya presses her cheek to a sleeping cat with clogged eyes.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №99027
 09.06.2014
I’m not fat, I just have a large bone.
Yyy: Oh, and I’m not bald, I just have smooth bones.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №99026
 09.06.2014
came to work.
I usually drink tea with milk in the morning.
There was no milk.
But there were martini and juice))

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №99025
 09.06.2014
Competition on the local radio on football themes: it is necessary to continue shouting hard and, preferably, in the rhythm: “if our loses...”
The winning option:
“If we play,
I will not be surprised!”

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №99024
 09.06.2014
Methodically, throughout the 10-day rest, all family members took these small pieces of the couch from the hotel area and threw them away from their eyes.
__________________
And for 10 days the maid never came to the elite room to clean up?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №99023
 09.06.2014
Elvi Roy: Generally speaking, I also don’t understand who was bothered by the tampons with smokers.

Whc: Naive question - of course, for those who sucked in the tampons ::)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №99022
 09.06.2014
I cooked a compot of dried fruits, fucking...
I sit down and eat sweet mushroom soup.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №99021
 09.06.2014
There is so much love in my mom’s cupcakes that they can be given to girls instead of Raphael.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №99020
 09.06.2014
Shulepov: "Men are very offensive creatures sometimes. Break a man some kind of nonsense of life or jaw, and he will treat you cautiously.
Hunting: Better to break the jaw.
Shalepov: For what?
Hunting for love, for example
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Hunting by Eeee. I have nothing to do with it, everything is much easier for me. Either you like or white socks.
Shulepov: Judging by the fact that you are not yet married, you already have your own small cemetery.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №99019
 09.06.2014
to this:
You won't believe, but often all this therapy from gynecologists is reduced to two questions
Do you have a sexual life?
You answer no, they advise you to start and everything will be fine.
If you answer yes, then the next question.
Are there children? If not, it is recommended to

----------------
At the point! I was in a gynecological department. I concluded that according to gynecologists, getting pregnant and giving birth is a universal therapy for all female diseases. The side effect of such therapy in the form of a child they ignored. You will think, what nonsense! The main thing is health! In addition, if you have a child, it will not be time to get sick immediately!

Likewise friendly, they ignored the fact that, contrary to their theory, the department was a battle, and at the same time among the patients of all the nearest chambers there were no children only in me. And every second diagnosis story began with a singing: "First everything was great, and then I gave birth, and it started."

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №99018
 09.06.2014
Her mother had a dog of the Rottweiler breed and, since the dog needed special training, she led the dog to protective and obedient training. Once I had no one to leave with and she took me with her. The road passed by the school, which was closed for the summer and where the family dwellers settled. When we passed by the fence, the courtiers came across the fence and stumbled upon us like angry men, but they could not get through the fence. Of course, it was very uncomfortable when inadequate dogs clapped near the jaw, but for Rottweiler, at least henna: he didn't even turn his head to their side. And now, when the fence was approaching a turn and we could already move away from the fence, the rottweiler with an absolutely unmistakable view raises the leg and makes our day, as one of the voices has changed sharply by the sound with which they will rinse their throats... After which the courtiers shutly, pressing their tails, went on their way and never again even close. This story has been around for 10 years, but it still makes us smile.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №99017
 09.06.2014
Long night trip in a car.

I have no place to stretch my feet.
Go to the trunk, there’s a lot of room.
It is: exactly. I will fit well there.
ZZZ : Oh yeah Three men in the cabin and she sleeps in the trunk. Until the first mentions.

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №99016
 09.06.2014
I met a girl here, complained about everything, said her men do not stick to her, leave, whatever you do. The strongest lasted for a month and a half. Although the savage is not ugly at all, cooking is great, in bed is not barren. A couple of weeks is normal, but after a while I notice some coldness, indifference to me. Everything is sitting in the cell phone, something is crawling. Despite the agreement not to go to each other's phones decided to look. I was surprised to learn that she has a long-time and wholeheartedly beloved man, with whom she communicates daily and even sometimes meets. Unfortunately, he is married to her. And really, why is it from her that all the men leave, who can tell?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №99015
 09.06.2014
Parents who are concerned and concerned:
During my active youth at the university, I lived with my mother and grandmother. I often came home at two o’clock at night. I tried to warn you in advance.
So, my grandmother regularly read me lectures about how she worries about me, and can not sleep at night because of me, unconscious.
Mom cared about it - gave a hundred rubles for a taxi and quietly slept.
Nothing so worthy of attention happened to me, despite the active expectations of my grandmother.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №99014
 09.06.2014
After the Psychology Test:
XXX: I am a choleric. What happened to you?
HK: Judging from this data, I’m something between a sanguinist and a melancholic.
XXX: How is it?
HK: Well, imagine the ideal...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №99013
 09.06.2014
I was able to swim today ?
XXX: On the cleanest water reservoir)))
YYY: Cold
XXX: And the smell of the sea)))) Well or I noticed
Do you smell the sea? The Salt Sea?? to
YYY: Either you really noticed it, or the people were completely overwhelmed...

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №99012
 09.06.2014
To the child:

Proper parental control is like a debris nested in the right places: you will fall, but you will not break. Inappropriate parental control is to wheel a child in a bowl with formaline, so that it does not blow, do not bitter, do not scare and other non-no-no. The lack of parental control is a wild forest with sweet strawberries and hungry wolves.
Those who are unable to see the difference between these three states should not have children yet. Talk about educating children, too.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №99011
 09.06.2014
Return the stones, debt "therefore, to this" and the like.
Yes, and I just want to say "on the matter", without damaging a respected site.

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