bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №133315
 09.09.2016
A boy 32 years.

I would call it a boy or a young man. But everyone knows the difficulty of the first 40 years of the boy’s life.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №133314
 09.09.2016
I rarely remember my dreams, but when I remember, I hide from them all day.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №133313
 09.09.2016
To justify the betrayal. The woman was guilty of everything, brought a man. Dick doesn’t like it – get divorced and meet with whoever you want.
I wonder, reverse the situation, many will justify the wife?
Approximately this way:
While they met, he cared for them, gave flowers, wore them on his hands and drove around the restaurants. And married - sitting all day, in the dancing chase, beer drinks, the stomach grows and eats three times a day requires, help at home - zero, you can't wait for sex, but divorce me lazy, here I brought two lovers, one in the movie restaurants drives, gives flowers and kisses, and the second is purely for sex, for health. Well, they get money for gifts, and if there is one, I earn as I want, and I dispose of the money.
Wouldn’t a man call her a prostitute? Which man do you justify?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №133312
 09.09.2016
The number of prohibitions well illustrates the development of democracy in our society.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №133311
 09.09.2016
I recently read an anecdote about pets. I have one too.
I always dreamed of having a beast, but frequent journeys and studies did not allow me to realize the dream. But dreams have a property: if you strongly want, dreams come true. On one of the trips, I brought a cat. The kitten grew up and became a hollow cat, thick and lazy. He slept with me on a pillow and even his bowl I put on the table next to my plate. This continued until I met my future wife. According to the cat, she was not suitable for our male union.
The cat did not want to give her anything. No, he didn’t hate her in her shoes or tear her dresses, but he constantly showed her who was the master here. Especially his favorite pillow. When Lena first tried to drive him out of the pillow, the cat demonstrately killed his nails in the pillow. She tried to pull him out of her pillow, but in vain. The pillow was shaking and Lena decided to take the cat out of the bedroom along with the pillow. Lena barely got out of the doorway of the bedroom, the cat jumped and in a couple of seconds found himself on the bed and stuck in the mattress. To lift the mattress, as well as to remove the cat, she did not succeed. So almost every preparation for sleep began: the cat occupied its usual place and Lena had to recapture its own. Over time, Lena refined her skill in fighting cats. Sometimes she managed to catch the cat and take it out of the bedroom, but the cat managed to get back to the bedroom faster. If he was just placed outside the door, he would jump on the door until he was allowed in, and if he was not allowed in for a long time, the whole house would be filled with boring drawing.
Lena categorically did not want to see the cat on the table and when the cat saw his bowl on the floor instead of the table, he declared a hunger strike. Together, we persuaded the cat to eat at least something, but the cat was lying down and depicting a dying swallow.
I don’t remember how, but they managed to conclude a peace treaty that later turned into a big love. When Lenka became pregnant, the cat made her belly massage with her legs. Then he helped to beat our daughter and watched carefully so we didn’t hurt her. If, in his opinion, we acted unfairly with her, put in a corner, for example, the cat issued a condemning meu and went in the corner to the daughter, sitting a little in the corner with the daughter then went to Lenka to exhaust the pardon.
When Lena was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, the cat didn’t move away from her. She didn’t remember or recognize me or her daughter, but I always noticed a smile on her face when the cat jumped on her knees or lay next to her and she unwittingly began to lick him. The cat was sleeping in her room and when she got worse, he woke up the whole house. And in her last days, she didn’t get out of her bed and almost ate nothing.
He survived it for only two days... In his long cat life he never went out. I went out to smoke and didn’t close the door. He went out to the doorstep, looked at me, at the house, came down from the doorstep and fell... When I ran, he was no longer breathing...
Forgive me, Murray I hope you are right now with your beloved hostess and you are well. I’ll join you...there will be a time...maybe soon...but please don’t fight for a place in the bedroom anymore...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №133310
 09.09.2016
From the news tape:
Kirkorov said he supports Donald Trump.
That’s all, Hillary, that’s all.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №133309
 09.09.2016
You are not a real disabled, the certificate is fake, and the leg is specifically broken to give up the place!

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №133308
 09.09.2016
And another debt, which with the Labrador, the wife in general did not give a year, that he did not go on lovers (forces and nerves with his way of life, see, even on the mistress misses)))

Generally speaking, the stories of debbaeks themselves already borrow. "Baby with such enthusiasm kissed me pop while we lived separately, bowed under all my hoodies, hid any fatigue and irritation (just rested on his territory, but I didn't know it, I thought she had a battery energy jizer in her ass), I, a naive rabbit, decided that it will always be, married, and this fell, it turns out, sometimes STOP and it happens, o horror, not in the mood, and sex wants to do so and then to get pleasure, no longer hiding the real impressions - help, save!!!" :D

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №133307
 09.09.2016
My girlfriend told me. The grandmother (I know the grandmother personally) comes in a mess to re-form the documents to a new surname, because the marriage came out. My grandmother is under 80. In a hat, all in white and curls. formed. Six months later, the same grandmother comes over the same issue. Requests to convert documents to a new name. The girlfriend worried, saying, You do not remember, You have already come. Answer: "Little, I remember everything perfectly, I have since divorced and married again, please do so" :)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №133306
 09.09.2016
We had a warrior at the school - a participant in the battle of Stalingrad. The whole school trembled in front of him. And try not to shake up, when starting with the 4th grade, each class at least once a year, in the order of patriotic upbringing wrote in anti-gas composition on the topic of the type "For what I love the homeland".
He was actually a normal man. With him, the school was organized and worked, boys and girls, once Kalash was dealt with. I won’t believe anyone who says it’s bad.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №133305
 09.09.2016
I hate these men's conversations in the cigarette.
xxx: who whom whispered and how many times fucked
YYY: Yes, I had this in my previous job.
YYY: One day, hearing about the details of the bending of the next rope, I approached with childish naivety in the eyes and asked.
Yyy: "O guys, do you use a prostate stimulator?"
YYY: Since then, these displays have not been conducted in my presence.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №133304
 09.09.2016
News - Patriarch Kirill made a prayer for peace at the U.S. borders
Well, right now, Khan of America.
in the sense of not about peace at the borders prayed, but near the border prayed, somewhere near the Bering Strait -))
ZZZ: So much more!

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №133303
 09.09.2016
Again, my colleagues approached me with a request to help them with the comp, because "Well, your husband is an aitišnik!!". For the hundredth time, she tried to explain that this knowledge is not transmitted sexually.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №133302
 09.09.2016
Everything you need to know about the seventh wreck:
It looks like a shampoo advertisement, which year after year increases hair volume by an additional 40%. and AMEISING.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №133301
 09.09.2016
- "Paccansky" with you will be "understood" only when this allows the winner to come out offering these same "assembly". All "concepts" are exactly how they work, that is why they were invented. Appeal to the police - "west" of course. But if this is the "Patsan" statement, "right", it is no longer a terrible thing, like how? and :)
- Op, I am going to take this "Paccan statement" directly into the lexicon. If there will be a time to hold, say, "the west fell on the men to knock" and I will answer, that this is not a simple statement, but a correct, patansky, existing specifically for such cases)

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №133300
 09.09.2016
About "Is there a life after marriage" Trololo stumbled on one interesting moment: immediately after the wedding (read: stamping the passport) a passionate and relaxed girl turned into a barley. Unspoiled Yes, this is not the case - either the girl from the very beginning in the bed is pressed (but this in the vast majority of cases can be corrected) and simply can not depict the African passion for a long time, or the guy gives his fantasies for reality.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №133299
 09.09.2016
From the story of life after marriage, just kill yourself. If for you, after the size of 44 clothes, all of them are jirds, I am ashamed to be with them on the same planet.

Don’t worry, this is an outdated troll. He is no longer treated and has become chronic.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №133298
 09.09.2016
Asmodey Velsevulovich> Cook believes that sex should happen through a non-standard connector, and this affects iPhones.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №133297
 09.09.2016
National Bank of Ukraine: "The dollar threatens to rise to 30 hryvnia".
The dollar is threatening! This is how you have to learn, learn!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №133296
 09.09.2016
Taxi on the way to the airport:
by Pas.Bad weather... the main thing is to fly away... and not to delay...
The water.It’s not scary to take off.
by Pas.I do not want to postpone the flight.

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