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Milyon-ok, how do you with a life position "is meaningful only what is paid for a lot", sorry, wife for your own pleasure? He would know well, so he would be a prostitute and good money would be from the crowded widows heavens with a spade. Do not scratch? Finding your sex, only time and energy are wasted on it, no one but you do not need it. Admit, just for the sake of scratching your own HZZ in bed you lie down, ah-ya-ya!
Find in life at least something that would give you pleasure, and you will not go out as poison on people who have the aversion to receive joy from life.