I then studied at the 1st or 2nd grade at the MSU, and once a friend brought me to a Bohemian company. There were mostly students of GITIS, an old cozy Moscow apartment in a Stalinist house, on the walls of avant-garde paintings. A round wooden table, wine, tea, snacks, everything clean, good music, no treasure. On my left hand was a boy sitting – red-red, pale, beautiful, with swans. I liked him. He looked at me, and I looked at him. And here somewhere after midnight everyone somehow wavered, whispered, someone went to another room, returned with a package. From the package there were syringes - single-use, in whole packages, and all kinds of addams, all very clean. The Bohemian students asked me, very polite:
Do you want to try heroin? A safe dose? and free?
Oh, I said I said. Is there a safe dose? Isn’t it a habit from the first time?
The Bohemian students stumbled.
Irvine is all. There is no habit from the first time. But we don’t impose anything on you, don’t think. You don’t want – as you want.
And they also told me how after one dose they, for example, fly. Or orgasm for an hour. And some more joy, I don’t remember. They only have one-time injections. The danger is zero. The red boy on the left of me was silent and slightly smiling. He wrapped his sleeve.

I don’t want to have an orgasm for an hour. Maybe I was just an idiot. I became terribly curious. Directly very curious. And they were all so cute, intelligent, cool - no droplets are like drug addicts from horrors.
And I said:
Let it go. Only a small trial dose.

Then the red boy, very quietly, right here in a whisper, said to me:
I have AIDS.

I was scared and moved away a little. And I began to think convulsively whether I had touched, for example, his glass. I knew that AIDS is not transmitted through glasses.

“AIDS is not transmitted through dishes,” the boy smiled understandably, red and pale. Terribly, terribly pale, as I suddenly understood. I told you this, you know why? So that you think again. For example, I didn’t get used to it the first time. I just liked it very much. I tried the second time. And in the third. And in the fourth. And usually I only used single-use syringes, this is how they are here. But one day, I don’t even remember where and with whom, I used someone else, because the one-time ended. I very much wanted. Then this situation repeated. In short, I have AIDS. And if you do not refuse now, you will have it too. Sooner or later. Most importantly, you know what? Orgasm within an hour is not cool. It is just shit. It hurt.

I said quietly, “I understand.” And quietly moved away from the beautiful, red boy. I did not look at him anymore. I gave up heroin and wine was over, so I drank tea from a bag. The cup was washed in the kitchen with soap.

Then I remembered that night many times and thought, what a cool red boy. He took me and saved me, just so. I did not even remember his name.

Anna Starobinets