Terrible names
I read your horrors and wonder. When in my childhood I began to be fooled by fools, I, in response to the question "How are you called", began to say "How Gryboedova". Since the name-fatherhood of Gryboedov is not known, the method works perfectly so far: the fool climbs into a textbook or into a google look and begins to collect fragments of templates. When an English woman in the universe offered to call me a terrible name (yes, Shura), I just said to call myself Sanders. Most universities still call me so, which is very pleasant. No any problems.
And you, forgive me, parents could even call R2D2 - they would still scratch the problems and be dissatisfied. The reason is not in the name.