How can an adult be proud that he did not sleep, did not fall asleep and was able to entertain himself as a child?
Do you know that you are from a major regional center of Central Russia? So, go away from it for a thousand kilometers, sit down at least in a small district center, I am not talking about a deaf village, and in a year, and what is there a year, a few weeks is enough to start to be proud that you do not sleep in this deaf man and find ways to take your free time.