The debt, self-dependent, immediately and quickly, until you finally arrived, did not re-born into a suicide and did not ruin the life of your daughter, go to a psychologist, fool! For the beginning. Maybe there is a psychotherapist. It helps, really. It is not a man to fight with demons, but a specialist. Or do you want to live this way for the rest of your life and your own child, being older, will hate you because you will project it all on her?