bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 39 - ]
 13.11.2017
Sometimes I work in a taxi. I have a basic job, but in addition to it, I sometimes go to bomb in the evenings, especially on weekends. This story happened to me two years ago:

Friday and night. A great time, people go to clubs and from them, who vote a lot, it is not easy to earn so. At manon, I pick up a couple of voters - a young man supports a girl who has clearly overtaken. I’m going to hell, a thousand, I’m very happy. The girl sits back and unnoticed for me moves over the driver’s seat. The man sits in front of her, holding her bag in his hands, falls asleep.

In 25 minutes we arrive, the man counts with me, leaves. I go away. There are a few voters on the way (truly the best night in my history). Another three hours drive alone around the city, we have a fun conversation, short, the night went well.

I come home, start to inspect the car for forgotten things / garbage and suddenly find a girl. 0 0 0

She sits bending between her legs, in a toned car at night to notice her was simply impossible.

In short, I took it very seriously.I was rejected by trying to wake her up. The body refuses to think about anything. Neither me nor my name.

Let me call her husband and tell him he forgot his bed. That’s not the problem, this man took her bag when he went out.

Okay, I remember the address, I go out. At 5 a.m. on Saturday. We arrive at the address and...

What would you do?

I didn’t come up with anything better than to start signaling (dear witnesses of that shit, forgive me, I just didn’t know what to do). From some balcony comes a very evil uncle who promises to curl my neck (I understand him, I believe him), if the cause is not too serious. Through the matyugs I get a body, I demonstrate, I say that I have forgotten here in my car a lady, tell me whose?

The man laughs, he doesn’t know.

Cheesecake in general.

The girl doesn’t shrink at all. This was the first time I deliberately and deliberately struck a woman’s bark, very strong (by the way, funny). He swallowed the water and spoke to her, “You can just wave your finger where your house is in your mouth, animal.”

There is no answer. There is no silence, just silence.

What would you do 2?

Virgo is good from the word "very" - a short sweater, the figure is just a fairy tale. Leave her on the bench - they will be raped, laughed, put on the net. Not manly (aga, but to hit a girl manly, agree). In short, having provoked the anger of a few other neighbors, who also did not know the apartment belongings of this prince, I was forced to acknowledge the fiasco of this idea, and go on my own.



My wife was just in the seventh sky of luck to have such a caring husband.

My wife started shouting me when she saw me with my body on my shoulder. I asked her to get into the situation, but she was just moaning. The oval so that the battery began to knock. Could this have awakened my husband?

No is.

It only stunned my wife, and I was ready for the second time in the evening to apply a physical rape on a woman, but my princess began to bluff.

God, what a delight.

I was so glad that my wife’s smile began to shake my eyes. It’s going to come back soon, naively I thought.

No is. She just swallowed, I stopped holding her, and she turned straight into a pale face.

Here happened what I could not expect – my wife went for a cloth, wiped out the whole alcoholic party on the floor, and asked me how it happened. I explained. She laughed.

I was nervous, but I laughed. Remember the joke - Do you know that laughter is the best way to pull a girl into bed? What is the first? - A huge knife - haahah, you are funny) - A reasonable choice) A good joke.

In short, my wife decided that it was better to let this body sleep. But the prince dirty his face and hair, before placing had to wash it. How to wash. My wife watched every millimetre of movement of my hands as I held my companion’s head over the bathroom.



Not long to read, did you get so upset?



This story ended very funny. The next day our puppy dried up, dried out a couple and a half cups of water in a few minutes and, seeing me and my wife, asked if we did not dried up. Here we wandered.

She did not behave very well, to be honest. We’ve experienced so much, and she’ll let me say – why these handcuffs, why I’m in the shirt, where I am.



I told you, I found out. She apologized, asked for the phone, called, asked to bring.

There is no problem.



We come, and there...

Her mother and her husband. The man in both eyes has such lights that I get worse. Mother of the cats leads him to the car clearly satisfied with the result. I go out to say hello and give me a envelope. It contains 10,000 rubles. Very pleasant, very pleasant. My wife and I say goodbye to the screams of our daughter on the man - yes, you just eaten and the beginning of his beating her beautiful fragile pen.



The result was that my wife and I just spent the weekend offgenically, laughed over this story for a long time, and I became ten times more attentive when I drive people.



P.S. I have a few more wonderful taxi stories that I will be happy to share.
Eng

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna