Recently I fought over a question asked by my student: how to join a team?

On the one hand, everything is simple: you have to be interesting. You can better know the preferences of people to communicate with and adjust to them. But only if you really share those preferences.

On the other hand, the collective does not need to be incorporated, it needs to be created. This is evident in romantic relationships. If you choose to “trick” in, you need to pursue the interests of others at the expense of your own. I’ve already written about people who are trying to “buy” love in these ways and what’s out of it.

It may sound strange, but long-term relationships—work, friendship, or romance—are built around you. That is, you need to look for those who will not be afraid to take dignity in a coupe with shortcomings and appreciate their combination. You do not need to invent a bicycle. Valuable qualities have not changed for thousands of years. Very well wrote about this Zhenetsky:

And the values remain the same: honesty, decency, the shoulders of a child, a conversation with the smart, silence with him, guests from far away, cycades at night, the morning smell of the garden, the silent walk of a cat, books that give the opportunity to live not here, and normal friendship when both do not need anything.

It turns out, the one who is afraid to be himself is surrounded by people who will never be interesting to him.