bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ]
 13.02.2019
I once mentioned in a conversation that I was teaching off-site students to solve problems on probability theory, which an elderly math teacher suddenly said:



- I have one problem on this theory, I live for many years, I cannot solve it.

This task was not taken from a textbook, it was thrown into my life itself. Here is the condition: I am a non-drinking person, only on holidays I allow myself a little, and in my youth, I did not drink at all. Once a year, only for a very serious occasion. This will be considered an event for our task. The second event is my mother-in-law.



When my husband and I got married, we immediately began to live separately, but in the same city with her, so she sometimes came to visit us. I did it, frankly, not often – not more than ten times a year. Now, let us go to the task. What is the probability that the ten times I have been drunk will coincide with the arrival of the mother-in-law? Don’t bother with the calculations, I’ll tell you right away – it all coincided. Probability is equal to a unit.



A man comes once from his mother, cuddling. I ask, what is fun? He answered:

My mother thought I was an alcoholic. She asked not to ruin her life, to divorce soon. I tell her that it’s not so, and she doesn’t believe it, she says, “How can’t I come to you – she’s gone! »



We laughed together, but this was not the end of the story. The mother-in-law was upset that her son did not listen to her words, almost a year she did not come to us. And here, one day, I slept, and in the house, as it was, there were no medicines left for the cold. I decided to improve my health by a popular method: vodka with pepper. I drank and lay down, and suddenly the door was ringing. I open, there is a maid! I am none, all shaken from sleep, and I smell good for the whole apartment not gladiolios at all. The father-in-law didn’t say anything to me, but it was evident that my reputation was finally crucified.



Since then, I have ceased to worry about it. She thinks I’m an alcoholic – her problem. I will live as I lived.



I have lived there for many years, my husband and I recently celebrated a silver wedding.

He is an adult and has a family. When the bride was brought to meet, she was worried, afraid she would not like it. I was almost as afraid that my mother-in-law would take me for an alcoholic. Now my sister and I live soul in soul. She thinks her son is lucky with me. Life put everything in its place. The theory of probability has nothing to do with it.
Eng

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna