About the most unsuccessful first dates 3 (about girls)



Even as a student I met a girl via the Internet, and decided to meet. I wait at the table in the cafe, and here she goes, in the photo posted on the dating site, it looks like, but plus 15 kilograms somewhere. Okay well. The closer she comes, the more I realize she is drunk. Okay well. She sat down to me, began to communicate, I understand that clearly "not in my taste." I went out with her, she smoked, I was in company. The Winter. On the door is a tiles that are very slippery. The bulldozer approaches and begins to ask for money to "help, or the pipes are burning." She has a cigarette in her hands and a fighting scream: “Are you squeezed?” They immediately get enough for their breasts, and they start to fight. As I said, they fell. We struggled lying down, but not for long. It was the first and last time I escaped from a girl.

*** by

The most treacherous began with her phrase, “Do you want to blow?” To what I made such an expression of the face: 0.o and replied, “No, thank you.” She said, “Well, if you want, I’ll smoke.” Then she started digging into the nearby rubbish in search of a plastic bottle. I found someone who arranged it, burned a hole in it. Then she got out of her apparently very expensive women’s bag a hashish wrapped in foil, and began to make plugs on a design textbook. When the matter was done, she asked to show her the nearest sheltered bushes, where she "dunked." After that, she remained completely inadequate, began to fear me, run away from me on the lawns and carry all kinds of nonsense. A more crazy and unpleasant date is hard to imagine!

*** by

We walked all night around Moscow, looking at the stars, it was romantic. But the girl smoked all night, and in the morning I was sprinkled like a sausage.

*** by

I once had a girl who was dressed decently and with very good manners, after having sex in my apartment, leaving stole almost all the foods from the refrigerator. Even a bag of pasta was lying next to the table. In principle, it is not a pity, but still confused about this.

*** by

In life, the girl was not so gothic, not so emo, not so very dark. The conversation did not go. And my friend started looking for a good excuse to end the date. And then he almost fled, as his chosen woman reports: "I have a cat dead today. Help me to bury.” In general, they went to the house of this girl, she took out of the house a shoe box and a scarf. Go to the desert. According to the law of gender, it started to rain. While my friend digged a pit, I vowed to meet on the Internet forever. A few months later, I found a similar story on the net. A guy went on a date, and then he had to “buri the cat.” He for some reason decided to open the box (a rather strange act), and there was some nonsense for the weight. There were no remains of the unfortunate animal. According to the description, the case was with the same girl. Apparently, she had such a peculiar way of attracting cavalry.

*** by

During my date, my rottweiler dog died, I lost my Parker gold ball pen, I broke a bottle of champagne, I broke the sleeve of my new suit, and I broke up with that girl.

*** by

She literally devastated me with her stories about balanced nutrition, vitamins, supplements, daily jogging, etc. In order not to listen to the lecture, I started dressing her. Sex we had was fresh and dietary))) The girl acted too correctly, as if on the guide "How to bring pleasure to a partner". No fire, no courage, no improvement. Then we dressed up, and she told me how many calories are burned during sex, and what foods to eat to maintain a good erection for a long time))))

*** by

Everything went wrong... At first I forgot her name... Then I remembered for a long time where we should meet... And in the end, it turns out, I didn’t leave at all...)

*** by

Her parents, somehow quickly and too joyfully saying goodbye, left us in the bedroom. And there was the main surprise waiting for me. Like kisses and hugs, everything is fine, the girl is in the right places, and all that. And as for decisive actions, she put her fists in my chest, looked frightened and said, "What are you doing?" I thought at first that she wanted to play, well you understood, yes, and she said to me louder: "I'll scream now!" On my phrase, the general meaning of which was reduced to the question of what I was doing here then, and what is happening in general, I was told the story that parents very much want a son-in-law, but she has never had it, and she is very afraid of sex because it is "painful and disgusting", and in addition, she believes furiously in "Our Lord Jesus Christ", which means I owe now "something to myself", and tomorrow we will tell her parents that I am her fiancé. And she – attention – will give me money for it.

*** by

I invited a girl to myself... And on the phone hinted on intimacy... What was my amazement when she, talking to me, began to hurry her boyfriend: "Let's go fast, he has something delicious")))))))))) Is my hints outdated, or are people so announced...

*** by

He got drunk and came up to me. I send her, she is offended in a fight. He was able to calm down only by threatening to pour out the remaining beer.

*** by

But today a girl was sitting in front of me and said, “Let’s meet you? by night. I will go home to the civil husband, and you will stay here to sleep. Let the souls fly out and out of the bodies in sleep and... at 2 a.m. I will be here. See you, let’s talk.” I pointed out the window.

*** by

I didn’t know the town, it wasn’t a local, it was found on some kind of playground. On the ground floor. At night, in the winter, I pulled her shirt and set myself in the back. I work, and scream in front, as if someone is biting something. Then it turned out that she bite out a piece of laundry like a bobber. All her teeth were iron, not iron.

We met and walked to the restaurant. In the morning at my house, she says, “And in this bedroom, we will paste the wallpaper and make a room for my daughter.” I have speech paralysis.

*** by

In the middle of dinner, she asked if I could find problems quickly (I am a dentist). I replied that quickly, if they were. At this, the woman offered to inspect her right now, at the table, and sat for 3-4 minutes with the mouth wide open, while I tried to explain why it should not be done and looked through the eyes of the waitress.

*** by

Falling on the bed. But as soon as it came to something more interesting, she replied that she warned me that sex would only take place after the wedding. This situation began to amuse me, and for the sake of broadening the horizon, I asked if she was not a virgin at her 25 years of marriage, and sex only after the wedding. No, not a virgin. She has a friend with whom she has nothing serious about, just they fuck 2-3 times a week. exclusively for health. And with me, I understood, she has love, so only after the wedding... As you can guess, after we did not see her.

*** by

She was a member of the national team of free struggle of the Republic of Dagestan.

and----

Stories from the face of women, but for men clearly was a trap :)

and----

Everyone was seduced to go to the country, that I would massage him, or he missed the female affection. I did not want to let him go home, so that he was back from me, in the process of walking I began to tell him that I know how I will die, and I know how he will die, and generally clear-sighted I. And we were in the park, and at eight o’clock, saying that now is the time for witchcraft, I began to run on the grass and collect all kinds of leaves and say where to apply - then from prostatitis, then from constipation, all repeating: “You are a man, you will need it, remember” And pulled him this grass. I was generally with a fantasy, on it broke out specifically)) It helped, suddenly stuck home. Truth he still named, on the date called, to see him so bad things were with women.

*** by

I was very worried before the meeting, so I decided to consult with my friends what and how. They advised the guy to astonish with his beauty. They sent me to the solarium (“What are you walking like a pale puppy!”) And for manicure. I took my glasses at the solarium. Which found, such and took - round, like the cat of Basilio. In order to be beautiful until I was stunned, I was stuck for 15 minutes. The manicure persuaded him to grow his nails and painted them almost under the scarf. Even the glow has struck. I got out of the salon and on the way home I thought how beautiful I became - I turned! At home, I rushed straight to the mirror and shuddered - I was dark orange, and still with white circles around my eyes. It was as if someone was mocking a panda. Nails on the side - like a witch, it was necessary to do such on Halloween. But nothing to do - she painted something, went on a date. It was probably the shortest date in my life. Seeing me, the guy suddenly remembered a bunch of important things and silenced. I was genuinely jealous of him - I had to see myself like this for two weeks.

and----