Monday is the day of complaints in our fitness club. The director gave me three letters:

-So, for the past two weeks, three complaints on you, now we will see... well, I didn't let go in dirty shoes, oh, I understand, I didn't let go with a chewing machine... oh... well, about the pregnant woman you will have to write an explanatory, very emotional complaint, you can see immediately, the woman will not calm down.



1) The pregnant woman.

I don’t understand why many women, a couple of months after learning they’re pregnant, definitely come to the gym, though NEVER have ever done fitness before. And not for some kind of activity such as "Aqua-mama" or "Hold the stomach together with your husband", but for full-fledged strength training, which in the usual state, not everyone can afford for health. And I do not let them. I do not go to yoga or pilates. Because even standing on one leg for a while is a load on the press muscles, which is prohibited during pregnancy. And yes, I myself was riding the big and stood on my head until birth, but we are talking about newcomers.



2) Toughened Gum

I don’t understand how you can’t understand that one awkward twist of chewing gum in your mouth when you breathe during exercise and you’re dead? You came here to practice, not to die.



3) The shoes

Of course, I didn’t get into the hall without changing shoes, but this time the situation was much more interesting.

A year and a half ago, after taking a shower after training, I didn’t find my shoes. These were old, well-deserved but extremely convenient Pumovsky crosses brought from abroad. At first I thought they were taken by mistake, then it became clear that most likely not, there was a slight confusion, who might need shoes after two years of active operation, and then I forgot about them, although sometimes by habit looked around the feet of those coming into the hall.

Last week I saw them. They were on the legs of a young woman about 50. Of course I approached her and said:

These are my shoes, no matter how strange it sounds.

– and? What? The woman’s face is confused, no, it’s mine.

and yes? Let’s take the right and there under the sticker on the side is written my name.

The woman silently takes off her shoes and leaves. He writes a complaint. That I didn’t let her in her shoes, she said they didn’t fit for the room.

Of course, they don’t fit you, fucking, these are my shoes.