Xxx: You stand, you do, you smoke, you look at the night sky and you think: the space above you is so huge that you are in the background of it - a bacterium simply. Moreover, this space is filled with billions of fireballs around which sometimes rotates stone or gas balls. They are mostly empty and there is no life on them. There may be somewhere, but it is such a shit rarity that nihua is not a pattern, but rather a statistical anomaly.



All this incredible machina is constantly changing, moving, and you in it are just a coincidence. The mouth of moisture. It’s funny, but yes, it’s from humidity. You and your entire human civilization are a mistake of nature. And your planet, too, because there are very few such planets. And the systems that are there.



99 whole and you know how many hundred percent of the space of the universe is not adapted for you. You will die there without delay. There is a vacuum, there is no ambient temperature, there is gamma-alpha-beta radiation. There are blue supergiants that emit so much energy that you can shake it out by just imagining it. There are black holes inside which singularity, which is generally a mathematical abstraction. There are distances at which the question "how far?" The question is “how long ago?” This is not all for you. This is the most hostile environment to your weak body.



You will also die. Zhvanetsky has recently died, Jigarhanyan has died and you will die. And soon that there are still years 50-60 in the best case. This is a moment for the universe. Don’t wait for it, it was cancelled. Of course, there is no God. And this world does not exist for you – otherwise it would not have been so arranged. And there is no meaning either – the universe does not understand the word “meaning.” She is not able to understand at all. You could have died ten years ago. I could never be born. That would not change anything.



Someone is creating art. It drives science. It enters its name into history in other available ways. Whoever is unable to do so (and most of them) simply gives birth to children and says that this is the main meaning of life. To appear, to exist for a moment, to “appear” the next one, that he too would exist for a moment. And all this carousel without meaning, purpose and any other high and noble vector.



And you start clinging to all kinds of religions, theories, ideas. Because in the form in which it all seems to be without them, it is heroic somehow. So much to get out of the balcony. The heights should be enough. Does it make sense to pull? To pull, to suffer, to grieve, to worry about all the shit.



And you say to yourself that it is not possible that the very existence of reason is accidental. Or maybe it was just for that? Well, how does a chemist mix large amounts of reagents to get a small sediment – so does the universe? It is such a big cage, and we are the same precipice? Well, not myself, of course, but life in general. A unique hernia. And then you kill the fly and you understand - but for her, it's just over. and? What would be the meaning of her, flies, life? No in anything.



And we too. We build, we develop, we fight, we heroize, we experience emotions, we write, we draw, etc., and then a few hundred years have passed. Oh, it turns out about us in a history textbook - one small page and then 80% shit. Oh, again, and a couple of thousand years have passed – that is, we are now an extinct civilization?! What about our values? What about our unique culture? In the sense of a beer bank and a fantasy from the Gondon in the museum - all that remains?!! Oh, again, and the sun is already shining. Or a meteorite. And there is nothing left. As if it did not exist.