On the Dating Site:


The xxx:
Imagine you are sitting at the computer playing melodic music... the room is only illuminated by the light of the lamp and the monitor... I approach you from behind... I lay my hands on your shoulders and begin to gently massage them.

YYYY :
I catch out my nunchaks and the samurai sword that I always have next to me in case someone comes from behind from the dark and puts their hands on my shoulders... when I’m home alone...

...then I put in a few packs what is left and look for the owner of the pig farm on the Internet...