The material was taken and translated from Radit. Some comments from Russian-speaking users. A pleasant reading!



1st A child who swallowed a magnet. I did X-rays. Nothing is dangerous. He told his parents to wait until the magnet came out naturally. The next day, the child is brought back. He swallowed another magnet. Not so lucky this time. Both magnets magnetized through the intestinal wall and caused obstruction. They had to be surgically removed. I asked the parents where the child got those magnets. My father said there was an entire box in his room. Did it come to mind to remove it?



2nd A young couple arrived. The girl recently got pregnant. I look at her medical card and ask questions. “You are smoking? “Yes, about a pack a day.” “You should definitely quit smoking.” The lady rounded her eyes and said, “Why? But my sister told me that if I quit now, the embryo would start to get off and it could die.” “What? ? to ? to ? to ? to ? to ? to ? to ? to ? to »



Three A patient complained that he could not go to the toilet for several days, like constipation. I looked at him and asked about food. It turns out, he decided to lose a few pounds quickly, and for three days he did not eat anything, only drink water.



4 is I am an eye surgeon. You may not believe it, but every fourth patient believes that we remove our eyes during the operation and then insert them back. And one patient asked if it was possible to leave the eye for surgery and then come back to insert it.



5 is A man came to his father, who claimed that somewhere he caught a large dose of radiation. He scratched his eyebrows, and two hairs fell out, and he was watching a movie, and it was shown that his hair fell out when exposed to radiation.



6 is I work in an ambulance. Provoked to stroke. The patient has a curly face and all other signs of stroke. She says the feelings are the same as the last time 10 years ago. I wonder how long it has been. He says 4 days ago. “Why didn’t you call us right away? “I thought it would go through this time.”



7 is The mother brought her 17-year-old daughter to the reception with complaints of alcohol allergy. Yes, you read it right, and it’s not a joke. The mother said that when her daughter drinks 200-300 grams of vodka, she has redness of the skin, and in the morning nausea and vomiting. I had to explain that this is not an allergy, but a normal snail.



8 is A girl came to me in the pharmacy and asked for hormone pills. I looked into the computer and saw that she was buying a monthly package two weeks ago. I told her about it. She and her boyfriend took them together.



9 is Before the operation, I introduced myself to the patient and said that I would be an anesthesiologist with him. I got the answer that an anesthesiologist is not a doctor. Not a doctor? Well, if you are more comfortable.



10 is I work in an ambulance. I was called to a village near the city. The application meant that bleeding from the wound. We come, and there a woman shows a scratch on her skull and says that she was knotted by a neighbor’s cock. When we arrived there was no more blood. She scratched her scratch. I wondered how the cock got to the face, as if they didn’t fly. It turned out that she leaned to “graze the bird.” I was mentally exhausted and wrote in the papers “a wounded wound.” Fuck the bird, fuck it.



11 is A cold patient came to the injury station and demanded that I prescribe antibiotics. I explained that they are not taken with viral symptoms. She did not believe. I had to read a lecture about microbes and viruses. I hope she will pass the medical examinations at the university where she is studying.



12 is I work as an electrician in a clinic. I received a request to replace a burned lamp in the therapist's office. The ceilings are high, so I take the stairs and go. At the entrance to the office, my grandmother pulls me up the stairs and says, “Where are you without a line? “Oh, you might think, I specifically pulled out of the house a puppy to get to the reception without a turn.



Thirteen A whole family came to the hospital. The cat brought a dead mouse into their house, and they were afraid they were now sick with something.



14 is I am a veterinarian, but I also have something to say. I wondered why the owner didn’t want to vaccinate her dog. It turns out that she read somewhere that vaccines lead to dog autism.



15 is I am an ophthalmologist. He told the patient he needed reading glasses. He began to deny that it was all nonsense. I explained that age vision changes are normal, they happen to everyone. He then argued that George Clooney didn’t need reading glasses. He actually wears these glasses. Why do you compare yourself to him?



16 is The doctor prescribed glasses to me, but my parents forbade me to wear them. They believed that in a normal body everything would fix itself. has not fixed. I had to go home constantly, and myopia was only getting stronger.



17th I look at a child with a cough. His parents are anti-vaccinators. Mother Oret: "Does modern medicine have no means to cope with this disease! “I say there are, but you didn’t want to use them. The father asks, “And what means is this? » I say that vaccination. “Oh yeah, you too, goat, from the pharmacological lobby! »