The case was in the early 21st century, during my emergency surgery service. Emergency surgery in the district hospital is a time-consuming and nervous matter: conditions for work are few, there are many patients, often at night to operate. But my story is not about that. Sometimes a guard. I operated until 2 o'clock at night, then for the time being one, the other - went to sleep at 3 o'clock, and at 5 I was awakened by the phone. Who is talking? A grandmother says:

Is this surgery?

Yes the surgery.

Is it Doctor?

Yes to Doctor.

Doctor, how good that I got to you! Doctor, what should I do?

What’s the problem, grandmother?

I have hemorrhoids!! to

Call an ambulance, the ambulance will come and see if you need to.
I will look, and by phone I do not give such advice, or suddenly you
Not hemorrhoids, but something else?

I called an ambulance! The ambulance came, looked, said raw
Apply the potatoes!

“Well, grandmother, potatoes, it’s not the past, it’s the past century. There is
Tablets and candles.

What kind of candles?

It has already begun to tire me.

- These or such candles, but before using them, you need to
Looks like a doctor.

How to use them?? to

How, how, take and insert...

and a-a? Is there a potato?! to