From Habr:

AAA: I am a programmer. And I wish, ideally, that the compiler would solve this problem for me.
BBB: I am a compiler. Ideally, I would like a programmer to solve this problem for me.
CCC: I am a processor. Guys, what are you talking about?
DDD: I am an electric charge. Stop chasing me here and then I will hit...
I am a tomato...