The summer. My wife and daughter are on duty service in Moscow. The hour of night.
The call. The Worried Wife:
Wow, what to do? Tanke had a huge butterfly in her ear.
It comes out!
I advise to find a pincet in the cosmetic and act on it. In a few minutes I will receive a thank you SMS. This is prehistory.

From the testimony of eyewitnesses it was possible to establish the following: at midnight, having laid the children, two girlfriends sit on the wing to drink honeymoon to talk about this. At this time, a healing night butterfly crashes into one’s ear on a shaving flight and floats inside, after which it begins futile attempts to get out. Trying to get free, the animal furiously scratches his legs about the drum membrane. It turns out that it is very painful. Also becomes obvious the fact that the female ear is deep enough to accommodate a fairly large insect, and it is not possible to extract it with your fingers.
At the Extraordinary Council, the decision is made not to call Shoigu, but to do so by false means. For example a toothbrush. After several sensitive injections into the butt, the creature decides to leave the sadists through the brain, but the female drum membrane turns out to be strong enough and the attempt to escape fails.
Furthermore, the Council decides to drown the joint leg, and get rid of the body with a strong stream of water. The victim moves into the shower. Washing brings some results in the form of stopping snoring, after which experts conclude the onset of death due to drowning. However, removing the body with water pressure is not possible.
Try to replace water with air. The powerful Delonghi vacuum cleaner comes into operation with a removable container for dust collection. A visual inspection of the container shows the absence of a butterfly in it, a visual inspection of the ear confirms the disappointing conclusions of experts – drowning led to a bloating of the body, which prevented the suction.
The High Council makes a brilliant decision. Since when taking off an airplane, the laying of ears can be eliminated by swallowing, experts come to the conclusion about the connection of ears with the nasopharynx, and therefore between them. In the light of God, a pump is drawn for inflating air balls.
The attention! Under the drum break, the pump is naturally inserted into the ear opposite to the affected. However, the failure of the experiment proves the errors of theoretical calculations.
Finally, the Council decides to abandon the futile struggle, the help of the hall and the 50/50. Called a friend. Next you know.

P.S The extracted insect immediately went up into the air and quietly fled to the nearest lighthouse to complain.