History is surprising, of course. Dovlatov would make a story out of it, and I will, of course, describe the events.

We celebrate someone’s birthday in a cottage. Cabbage - neither this, the only original detail - in the hall a terrarium with a crocodile.
The beast is busy with his usual business - lying with his fist open, not moving. We walked, we went out into the hall, the floating lay like lying, not even a millimeter moved. Among the guests, talk begins about animal health, and someone even speaks about wax moulds. A few bets are made. One of the gentlemen, a two-meter-high hero, is called to dispel doubts about what the chair and the natural length of the hands are used for. The crocodile also helps solve the problem and clamps the jaw carefully on the powerful male wrist, after which it gets straight into the head to the left and the grip weakens. The guests realize that now the evening has succeeded in all 100 and you can call an ambulance.
The ambulance brings our hero to the clinic, where he learns that with his appearance the account of crocodiles bites in Moscow is finally opened, and is awarded an injection from rabies right into the full and drunk pulse. This would seem like everything, but the doctor insists on hospitalization, yet an exotic animal, little... They bring our poor man into the chamber and he sees his neighbor - a black black of the color of bitter chocolate, whose hand is tightly wrapped. They go out to smoke and meet. Patrick turns out to be a natural pigmee from Zaire, all as usual, Patrice Lumumba, love, marriage, Afro-Russian... Our says the thought that it is strange to be a Russian bitten African crocodile in Russia, when an African, a podi, is struck by our Chertanova seam. No matter what, not a dog. And who? You won’t believe, a man bite in the subway... The doctor said – the worst bite...
This is the irony of fate: at the clock of the night on the cluttered hospital staircase smoke a healthy Russian man bitten in Moscow by a crocodile, and a half-meter-long black man bitten by a man.