From Habr:
No, well, “I have a MacBook” is quite a universal answer for various situations.

“Do you use pirate software?” – “I have a MacBook.”
“What is your ass number?” – “I have a MacBook.”
“Do you read Blu-ray?” – “I have a MacBook.”
“How to get to Lenin Square?” – “I have a MacBook.”
“Don’t tell me how long?” – “I have a MacBook.”
“Are you smoking?” – “I have a MacBook.”