Russian Google - meaningless and ruthless

“Let the fool fish, and he will catch all the fish.”
(The main fishing axiom)

This small but epic story happened recently with my friend, Zena.

Zhenya - a healthy, forty-three-year-old man, owner of three tires, one beautiful morning took a new man to work.
And then, on the evening of the same day, together with all their friendly team, they washed a new cowboy.
Everything in a family way: a music of dust, oily cassette, water, sausage and (how without them?) Talk about life...
The chief responded and revealed:
You are lucky, men: you have brothers and sisters, many of you have parents alive, and I have a wife, three children and even a beloved aunt, and I still feel orphaned. He buried his elders long ago, no brothers, not even cousins. I had an uncle – uncle Vitus, father’s brother, was he still alive, isn’t he? I do not know.
The last time he came to us was twenty years ago, I don’t even remember from which city. I tried somehow to look for him, but it didn't work out, he doesn't get any "classmates" under the age of seventy.
The people sympathetically breathed and a troublesome pause hanged, and suddenly the culprit of the celebration, a new loophole worker, gave his voice:
- Yevgeny Nikolaevich, so you really want to find your uncle? In principle, I can help.
Jenny is interested:
How will you find him?
- Well... there are people who will help to throw the hooks across the area...
What other area? Uncle Vitya never in his life sat and not even attracted, he is a construction engineer, a carrier of orders.
The newcomer remarked reasonably:
- It is not scary that I did not sit, the area is just like an office... After all, the lady-telephonist in the reference service, too, may not once, in the Big Theatre, but the schedule of the performances knows better than any ballerina... People in the chain will spread requests across all the road zones, someone knows something. Even “cats zones” will help in case.

Jennie shrugged his cheek:
Well, if even the goats, then of course... and what will this pleasure cost me?
- If it is found within two days, then usually - 200 backs is enough, you want faster, then it will be a little more expensive.
Where are two days faster?
There are urgent cases...

The boss wrote on the uncle's leaflet the surname, name, paternity, year of birth, issued the money, called the "office" and went to buy mobile phone payment cards.

The next day, Zhenya slightly regretted getting involved in this dead number, but thank God, the new employee did not escape with his money, and as it was supposed - came to work in the morning.

What can be the zones, what two days, if the address of Uncle Viti, even a familiar mint could not break through? Well, nothing, a couple or three days for decency can be waited, and then ask for your money back.

But everything turned differently.
That same evening, his earless worker approached the woman and said:
- Yevgeny Nikolaevich, now I will be called and you will hear the voice of your uncle, if you confirm that it is him, then I will give you his phone number and we will be in calculation, if not he, then we will look further. But most likely he.

The phone called, the boss took the phone and heard the old and alert: “But...”
and AL! but! Uncle Vichy is you!? to
I, and who is it?
Yes, I, your nephew Zhenya from Moscow!
The son of Nicholas?
Well yes!
What do you do, you do, you do? Do you want my death? What bad have I done to you?! to
Uncle Vichy, what are you? I am just...

The trunk was hanged.

After some time, when the uncle in Tiraspol, and the nephew in Moscow, calmed a little, they called again and the old man told how it was.
The door was called, the uncle opened, two polite young men stood on the threshold. Asked F.I.O. and informed that they brought the package, but it is so large that it does not climb into the entrance door: "Let's go down, accept and register."
They went down, suddenly the visitors cleverly pushed the old man into the garbage collector's box, pressed his mouth and said:
– Listen carefully – the old pearl, all, ran away. You specifically hit and you will finally have to solve your question. You are being sought by such people that it is better not to know.
Now we’ll give you a phone and you’ll say, “But,” and if you’re going to freeze and don’t say it, we’ll break your ribs. and ferstine?