Inventive machinery

Not to say that it is funny, just in a pile of original solutions in a banal situation.
Moscow Serpukhov Electric. Friday, evening, people go to nature, the wagons are full of passengers quite tightly. In spite of the open windows, in the train there are hot spots and spirits, who wipes the sweat from the forehead with a sleeve, who flaps with a newspaper. Drunk young people of the hypnotic kind decided to apply their method of ventilation - an empty beer bottle blocked the doors. The high-speed communications mechanic announces that the train will not go until the doors are opened, the cops do not react, crack, blow cigarettes, hold a bottle in the door. The announcement "police patrolling the train, go through the N-th wagon" does not convince anyone, everyone has long known that it is a bluff and in fact there is no policeman in the train. The assistant of the engineer, who usually goes out and solves such issues, either does not - in modern trains he is replaced by automation, or he is just lazy to drag into the end of the train through the sweaty crowd. Passengers discuss "this drunk," but do not interfere, the general opinion that the drunken sea on the knee, can and fight. The train is a couple or three minutes away. The culmination. The driver opened the doors, they opened completely. “Attention, dear passengers, if the races from the N-th wagon, delaying departure, do not leave the train, I will turn on the heating of the wagons and do not turn off until the end of the route, I repeat, if.....” (from the place of the accident to Serpukhov to drive almost an hour and a half). No need to repeat the third time. A couple of people in the wagon raised a noise on the subject of "what x...", and ten seconds later, the crowd that had crashed into the tambour, the mating gopniks who tried to whip their fists, together with their bottle, were pushed out onto the platform.