Our school was a warehouse of masterpieces.

Let’s start with the physical culture. It was a small, thin, crooked and chromed man who demonstrated the thesis "I don't like sport and he likes me." But he had a disgusting whisper and a loud voice. Which he spoke all the time “left, left, who steps right!!!” His favorite sport was walking around a circle... He also built a class every lesson and began to broadcast that girls should give birth, for which they would need the right shape of the pelvis. It was very disgusting. Somehow he tried to tell us about hardening. Every morning, at any time of the year, I go out to the balcony and wipe myself in the snow.

Then the historian will take the stage. Fantastically ignorant grandmother with an even more penetrating voice than a bodybuilder.

“Revolutionary Babushkin was shot in Siberia by the Banderists in 1905.” "Fonvizin wrote "Gorre from Madness" because he was a Decembrist" "Spartak lost his uprisings because he could not read Lenin's works." When she wasn’t riding a time machine, she was leading “Basics of State and Law.” I brought an article one day. There was a story of how a boy-gowner struck several people with a tail. I read it out loud and ask – but what do you think, kids, why did he do this? Well, the kids came to life, began to put forward versions... Stephen King would just sit down! No - strictly rejected all of the Time Machinist (this was her underground nickname) - he did it because he did not know the foundations of the state and the law! You will be like that!

However, the teacher of labor and in combination - "Ethics and psychology of family life" also did not lag behind colleagues. The audience went to her lessons with a sense of mystical anticipation - what another masterpiece today will give birth to her brain not burdened with excessive complexities. Her hit was war. We learned how to sew cowards in the event of war (in order, in one way, to drive the potential enemy into the grave), cook the economic borscht in the event of the same war (in order to get those who will survive after contemplation of the cowards) and studied under her leadership the secrets of family life, so that the enemy even in the rear would not have a chance to escape.

Her main phrase was "a girl is adorned with modesty and modesty."

Our parade is decorated by the teacher of literature. She was a foolish and indifferent person, at all. But she taught her subject with such pathos, that the case gave out amazing lashes. For example, “You couldn’t love Onequin! And the cave! And the Chats! And even Vronsky. Here they could be standing here all together – and you can serve Van Damme’s.” Then she fell down on her chair in weakness and said, “Beyeez-du-ho-nooost!” Her ear belonged to a multitude of records in our diaries, such as "I do not want to love Pushkin in any form" or "laughed at human sorrow".

My diary, among other things, was decorated with the inscription "Targeted from combat weapons to the bodies of the parental committee." There was also a “sparking gas cleaner.”