Secondary sexual characteristics

On Friday, with an official and friendly visit to the ship, which is part of the 32nd Division, arrived the commander of the PLC (anti-submarine ships) Admiral Radzevsky. As he climbed to the deck, where the personnel had already been built, he saw the main thing, the beard of the senior lieutenant Schilling, which he had grown over the past two months. Wearing a beard was not expressly prohibited, but it was not encouraged. In this shell shell and enter.

Being a man of high culture and resilience, Radzevsky walked relentlessly to the target along the line, relentlessly, like a torpedo.

When he got to the right place, he stopped.

“Comrade, senior lieutenant, your officer’s license,” he addressed Schilling.

Having received the document, he revealed it. He was looked at by a smoothly shaved face, glued back in school.

- On what occasion, let me know, your mm... face has grown so much?

Here the devil, who was sleeping in Schilling’s heart, woke up and said clearly and loudly:

As Chekhov wrote in his "Sakhalin notes" in the year one thousand eight hundred and ninety, the man without a beard and a beard looks as unnatural as a woman with a beard and a beard!

"But Roman Roland said that since a beard is a secondary sexual feature, wearing it is as unethical as walking a woman with her naked breasts," observed from some side the commander of the missile combat unit.

What nonsense are your officers reading? - summed up the literary discussion that had begun, Radzevsky addressed the ship's commander. And to the Lieutenant:

- The tanks will not push the clowns, I will not even talk to you, comrade senior lieutenant. Or bring the moustache in accordance with the certificate, or the certificate in accordance with the moustache.

Three days later, before Radzevsky, who walked through the base territory, a trait materialized in the image of Shilling with a face with pronounced secondary sexual traits.

- Your certificate, Comrade Senior Lieutenant, - gently pronounced Radzevsky.

Looking into the uncovered passport, he found a face there with a talented beard painted with a pencil, so that the Admiral even hanged for a second, what was the last time with him ten years ago.

What specific non-normative vocabulary and what implicit twists the Admiral used is unknown to us. But an hour later, looking out of the clouds, the Baltic sun was cuddly reflected by rabbits not only in the lawns, after the rain that passed at night, but also from the cheeks of Shilling.