What would your wife want for the new year?
The Norwegian Shirt.
And you?
As usual, a shave foam.

by TOLIK...

Remember the joke: I asked him to go to the pharmacy and buy something for tea. So he, the fool, bought a hematogen... So tea and drink"?

Voronezh, "Famous Pharmacy", stand with the name "Contraceptive Means". What would you think? There is a hematogen =))

I bought myself for an open New Year's dress a silicone leaflet (well which is just sticky on the breasts and without sluts). and hidden. I come home, and my husband is sitting in front of the compot for another toy... He disconnected the cups and glued on his shoulders...
In general, I am met with a happy scream: "Chenani, how I pumped!!!" and.ppc

From the Women’s Forum:
Girls, but only to me, my husband will shoot from behind, put his younger on his shoulder, and shout with a bad voice: Piastras, piastras?

A good bribe makes even a prosecutor a lawyer.

Yesterday evening at the Pushkin station of the Moscow Railway, near the stand with the schedules of the electric trains observed, as a shaved guy of the bull-like (dubble-morda-red-breast-narapashka) in despair pin the metal grid of the fence and hysterically oral on the festive dressed lady with a bunch of airballs in one hand, and a child of five years in the other.

So what now??? I don’t even know which hernia should have been drawn.
From Moscow into this shit hole!! to

Celebrately rushing citizens looked around and circled them by the bow. The snow fell quietly and everything around shone with pre-New Year's lights. The lady smiled confusedly and guiltyly persuaded the disappeared satellite not for a joke "Vlady, Volodechka! Who knew she would be in the hospital for the new year?” It seemed that Volodya was holding out of his last strength, so as not to start moving out the anger instead of the barracks on the lady.

Probably it would have happened, but here the meaningless pinching of railway property and the screams attracted the attention of two passing by, festive dressed (red caps with flashing electric lights around) Pushkin hopners. The hoppies joyfully stopped, watched a little, then said, "With the coming!", and began to play fun.
Volodya, occasionally addressing him with a rhetorical request to explain what he meant by the words "this dirty hole."

In the spark of patriotic enthusiasm, the hoppies did not notice how two employees of the line department of the militia with ice cream watched them with pleasure. The mints hastily roasted the ice cream, carefully threw the papers into the urn, approached the inhabitants and guests of the city, and began bidding and knowing the affairs. Directly in the blinking of the bulbs on their red electric headsets. (Maybe the lights were flashing in the tact of the pins. I will not tell you here)

The snow fell and people walked by. Until this ugliness did not pay attention to the old-old little grandmother in a plush jacket passing by, with a cat through her shoulder and a sucked stick under her foreheads. Grandma put the cat on the snow, approached the police from behind, and with the words
“Hey, are you making heros?”“She wrapped them both a couple of times along her back with her soaked sleeve.

And immediately it ended. Snooping and looking around, they hurried away in their official affairs. The stumblers disappeared. She disappeared, picking up the cat, grandmother. And only in the corner, like the head of a big dwarf, flashed the burning cap, and at the stand with a timetable, a slightly bored Volodya blinked his nose. The cheerful wife joyfully scratched the footprints of the shoes of the Pushkin patriots from his box and gently condemned him.
“Well, right now... we’re going home now, we’re going to dinner... I’m going to you...” And then something whispering, unclearly intimate.

But my attention was not really attracted by this everyday course of things. And I attracted my attention to this five-year-old citizen, who was held by a lady’s hand. During all the time of the events described, he not only did not be interested in what was happening, but he never even turned his head in that direction. He stood and looked with a blessed smile from under my mom’s hand to the festively decorated large tree on the train station square, sleeping citizens, and the drunken Santa Claus with the already crisp Snowball, who with a group of vacant walkers drove around the tree tree and sang “In the woods a tree was born.” And he also looked curiously at the large bright box in my forearm.

Meanwhile, the adults finally reconciled, kissed, and the three took their hands and went to the third platform. And the five-year-old citizen was walking in the middle until the very transition with the head backwards. I blinked at the end, he responded with a wide smile and showed his tongue. Probably because his hands were busy, and he had not yet learned to blink. It feels like he didn’t like anything at all.

This is somehow. Happy New Year to you, dear ones. And if suddenly any family mess, or just feelings stumbled, we ask for mercy. Just come here.

Ukrainian hackers learned to download gas through torrents

Kissy: Dear, I'm leaving Egypt soon, flight straight from Perm, will you miss me?and :)
Blake: Yes, my dear, bring me an apple :)
Kissy: o_o
I’m sorry, but it’s hot :)

I hang a man’s kitchen. Perforate 8 holes. The feeling that, on the other hand, the gates of the medieval castle are crashing...
Go to the neighbor to find out.
The neighbor’s answer: You will destroy your house with your drilling.
When asked what it was for a noise, he replied: I throw a pudding whirl in the wall.

Deni: I came to receive gifts from the director to the kitchen, and there is all beautiful so, fruit, champagne, chocolate.everyone is happy except the head of the company.I ask what happened.and it turns out that she bought the fruit at home and cut them)))

New year... New year?
No, I am washing the laundry!

Nobody wondered why the shells are not made at the level of the elbows or at least the hands, so as not to bend over them, but at the level of the member?

When the Zoo sang:
"Be careful about yourself"
He was already telling us:
"always be afraid of the fucking unknown hunny"

Tell me why
I choose words carefully.
When I want to tell you
I like your beautiful eyes.

Tell me why
When I see you, I worry.
At night I cannot sleep.
I feel like I’m competing with someone.

I want to like you...
I try my best...
I only speak from the soul.
Even though the main thing I say is,

I write all these lines for you.
To understand until the end.
I like your hair, very much.
She is just one :)

I hope you understood ;)

Ps: if you get to the top, I’ll invite you to a date))

VKontakte in the group "sell" stones under the photo:
xxx: I sell single-use plastic cups!Destined for all types of drinks.Free shipping!
500 ml - 0.90 cops
200 ml - 0.30 cop
In case of purchase, a discount is possible.
I will buy 1 cup of 500 ml. to me at the address Democratic 16 266 at 16: 00
I don’t sell one!!!!! to
Zzz: Then I have three, walk like this))))

I meet New Year with Friends... even if it’s just a series.

So many wishes. After reading it, I remembered this...

As long as the earth still rotates, as long as the light is bright,
Lord, give to every man what he does not have.
Give a head to the wise, give a horse to the coward.
Give the happy money and don’t forget me.

As long as the earth is still rotating, O Lord, your power!
Give the righteous power to rule,
Give a rest to the generous, even before the end of the day.
Give Cain repentance and do not forget me.

I know that you know everything, I believe in your wisdom,
As a soldier believes that he lives in heaven,
As every ear believes your silent words,
How do we believe ourselves, not knowing what we do!

O my God, my green eye!
As long as the earth still rotates, and it is strange to her,
As long as she still has time and fire,
Give everyone a little and don’t forget about me.

So far, none of my quotes have come to the best, but I believe that if this comes, then my wish (very important and very secret to me) will be fulfilled, and I in turn wish to all who voted for it the fulfillment of their wishes, and most importantly, happiness in all gifts, and let no one leave offended.

P.S
If you don’t like it, please don’t have to matte me and write outlining "citations" about UG. Just put a minus.

To save Russia, you have to burn Moscow.
M.I. Kutuzov

There are three stages in a person’s life: first to get a scholarship, then to a salary, and finally to retirement.

"Putin received thanks from the president"
Are you dependent too?