bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №58301
 07.01.2012
I want to go to the third high.
YYY : Why? You recently got the second.
I like to ride in the subway.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №58300
 07.01.2012
xxx: The longest recorded game in Monopoly lasted 1680 hours (more than 70 days).
I don’t believe it is 70 days.
yyy: afternoon
XHH:means that aliens are on the moon and in 2012 will be the end of the world that you believe, but that in the monopoly you can play 70 days you do not believe?

[ + 50 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №58299
 07.01.2012
Tatiana: On December 30, the father was at the corporation, and then decided to sit alone in the bar and disappeared for an hour. On the other side, the voice of a-la is heard "blonde" (then it turned out to be true) and says the following: "Hello! Your dad was so badly applied by the car when he ran over Nevsky!". His voice maneuvered. "He is very drunk, he is inadequate! We don’t know what to do with it!". "Is it okay with the packaging? You called the ambulance?" - I ask. the voice with the reproach answers: "I am from the ambulance!" O_o

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №58298
 07.01.2012
I’d invite her to a wedding just to watch her jump for the bride’s bouquet.
YYY: Yes, she will take six of the light athletics and bat!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №58297
 07.01.2012
I communicate with my younger brother (MB) on Skype, discuss his passed exam (studying in another city).
I: So what about the exam?
MB is sad. To the trio, the elderly for preparation did not ask those questions.
I: Well, punish her male, adult, so that the next time, the necessary questions.
The father, passing by, commented on the advice: "Do not think of punishing so, or she will like, you will not give up the session at all"."
The Chickle (Chickle)
WOW: ahah, punishment, and potm in 9 months another exam will pass

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №58296
 07.01.2012
I put on pasta for dinner and I remember:
It was impossible to eat meat in the army. So I ate pasta right with bread.
What the father answers:
and salad! I ate fried bread with bread in the army.

[ + 33 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №58295
 07.01.2012
Where to buy Japanese mayonnaise?
-Well, to look for it, you add wasabi to ketchup, this is the Japanese mayonnaise!

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №58294
 07.01.2012
Commentary on the article on the increase, KMM, member

What nonsense are they writing here? Should a man have a member to his knee? To when he walked on his legs fighting or while standing supported his beard?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №58293
 07.01.2012
I came home, dressed up, washed up, sat down at the computer... I sit, I play. I hear footsteps, the light has turned on in the hallway and the father is shooting in his pockets.. long laughed, remembering the past.. =)
Where did you leave the cigarettes?
XXX is fucking.

The user "xxx" is disabled.

Offline for a week ?

[ + 30 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №58292
 07.01.2012
I understood that I was older when girls with children began to be added to the asche...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №58291
 07.01.2012
XXX: In order for this to happen, we need to work more with the intelligence services. Burn, so to speak, the orange infection in advance.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Right to indefinite detention, like in the United States? To put children in prison, like in England?

Zzz: Well, if you must have learned to build democracy, then, yes, you have to learn from England and the United States. And if you agree with totalitarianism, you can do without these atrocities.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №58290
 07.01.2012
xxx is :
Yyy: Keep on, you intrigued me.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №58289
 07.01.2012
Dad went in and announced that it was 5 minutes until the end of the world... Then smiled, looked at our lengthy rows and explained that in 5 minutes will turn off the light and the switch will be repaired=)))

[ + 85 - ] Comment quote №58288
 07.01.2012
Where can I get the right to control the armor?
God, go on this way! Who will stop you?! to

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №58287
 07.01.2012
XX: I just want everyone to be fine.
YYY: Xxx, even with Hitler?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №58286
 07.01.2012
If you want the whole world to be subdued, start from the inside.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №58285
 07.01.2012
Life sometimes learns such wonderful lessons.
A few years ago, a company decided to build a hospital on the desert that is next to the house. Everything was as planned - and permission from the city authorities, and a plan, and a general assembly for the whole district for objections.
He did not go to the assembly and apparently nobody protested because the hospital was built. And, as was expected, the ambulance sirens went at night. I had to replace the doors and windows with noise-proof, so that fewer sirens came out. Over time, these sirens started irritating me and quite strongly. As soon as I hear it, it unwillingly breaks out “For...Let’s finally!”
This is the preamble...

On the New Year’s Eve, I decided to do sushi. I just love them and cook better than in sushi bars. But since their wife does not eat them, and I am forever in the hoops, the case of cooking them is rare. And this is such a day - there are no things and it is not expected, in the evening we are going to celebrate the 2012 meeting with friends, and before that - walk - I don't want to. As the saying goes, if you want to laugh at God, tell him about your plans.

Ingredients are purchased. Calmars were not fresh, bought frozen.
has prepared. Pleased to know. And yet another beer! It broke out in full!
I have not eaten my favorite food for a year.
Two hours later there was a slight illness. At 5am, it became clear that I could not go anywhere. I thought I got a cold in the morning. After half an hour, it became clear that in the best case, I would meet the New Year with a snoring. When he became sick, he began to suspect poisoning with calmaras. When he got sick for the second time and his legs began to take off, he told his wife to search for symptoms of poisoning on the Internet and what to do in such cases. Going here to the ambulance is useless - if you do not squeeze the chest (suspecting a heart attack) will be taken at best in 3-4 hours. At this time, I’d rather be at home.
And here on the telecast show about fuga (fish so poisonous, who doesn't know) show - right, what is called, guessed with the topic!
The woman says the case is serious - you need to go to the doctor urgently.
I analyze the situation. By the rate of deterioration of the condition, I pretend that the kayak comes somewhere in about an hour. I say, we go to the hospital.
After a couple of useless calls on the phones indicated on the turnover of insurance cards ("we are closed, you need to call there and there") we realize that we need to call 911...
Two fire cars and police arrived within a minute. with the sirens. In the house fell 8-10 people, like Uncle Chernomore. All as a selection! I lie on the couch and look at everything in a different way.
It seems like everything is familiar to the pain, and it is no longer quite ordinary.
They quickly measured the pressure, the level of oxygen and the devil still knows what (these are all firefighters) and then called an ambulance. The ambulance arrived in a few minutes. Hospitals have a choice. He chose his place where he once lay.
“Jambul is my home, there is my mother” (Vasya Alibabaevich). We put them on the knives, we were lucky in a half-blind state. He reassured himself, and now he won’t die. Gave oxygen, put a dropper.
Through the fog I realize that we go without sirens, without special signals, we stop at every light.
They arrived. Nothing serious was found except a very low oxygen content in the blood. Written at 23:56. The doctor said, “It will be worse, please ask back.”
The new year was met with the guard of the hospital in the waiting room. We wish each other a happy new year. Without toasts.

The next day I remember the events of last night. The question is, why didn’t the syrene be turned on? It would be much more convenient to go - there are almost no cars on the road, you don't need to scatter anyone, turn on the syrene and gaze without stopping.

Believe it or not, I don’t react to the sirenes at all. If you turn it on, it means that the person in the car, according to the major hero, is much worse than I was then, for the New Year.
Let them help quickly and let them recover quickly!

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №58284
 07.01.2012
Respect your parents. They graduated from school without Google and Wikipedia.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №58283
 07.01.2012
12:04:09 Wolf_anist goes to room-flirting and dating
12:05:32 Wolf_anist comes to us from room-flirting and dating
12:05:49 Orange_piano: Wolf_Ananist: Well, how did it go?and :)

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №58282
 07.01.2012
Pelevin's novels can not only be read, but also smoked. When you read, it touches more.

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