Call and IT for internet speed consultation.
Allo is! Hi to! Can I know whom to hit in the face to increase my download speed?
Hi to you! Strike to Michael Jackson!
He is dead. o_o
Then blame...

It was in Turkey. We went to rest with a group of friends, there was one such, Denis - a caretaker. My wife and I were on the floor. So I get out of the soul, wrapped my body walking poorly with a towel, not yet dry, so. I say to a friend, I will go to Denis with my wife. I went down on the elevator, sparked a few words, and when I went out, this devil pulled the towel from me and clogged the door. It does not break, it smells. Well, I think, I go to the elevator... In the elevator was a man four or three girls of 20 years and a man of sixty years - all Russians - were silent. I approach our number, I knock – silence! I still knock – silence!
Here go through the corridor three grandmothers - years sixty with a hook....from the strangle, what makes the hooker! I fell down, I removed my palms from the perineum, I followed with one hand on my hair, and the other on my chest, and with a thin voice I said, "Ladies, leisure! It is cheap! Grandmothers quickly washed up the stairs...There appears my friend – down to the reception was walking...The grandmother of these I then saw more than once – everyone touched me.

Why vegans don’t eat meat
According to the UN law, you can’t eat creatures whose IQ is higher than yours.

Q: Why are you depicted as a dark man?
This is Voldemort.
A: He is cool.
X: Yes, but somehow it’s not very pleasant to see him as a sister.

Where to buy a pager in 2011? So I would work.
Answer: In order to work, you will still have to buy a paging company.

Commentary on the film "The Stone":

Dolly is mad.

At seven o’clock in the morning, Jehovah’s Witnesses came to my door. Sarcastically telling them that without morning coffee and croissants I would not perceive the high and divine, I shut the door. They got back in half an hour! With tea and biscuits!

Tolerance is great. Sometimes it’s good to get away from the heart.

kr1vch_@v is a shit. I ordered a prostitute yesterday, and she took me off.
I sit at home now.
kr1vch_@v: Oh, not to you)))

Mary Remember
Mary: The worst thing is not to see the three-digit number on the scales
To hear their cries under their feet.
Mary :' (

She: I can't find a rubber
My sister has the same problem.
It’s like men’s socks.

from ZH
xxx:The 1890 text "The Eye Diseases of Negroes" begins with the phrase "There is nothing interesting or remarkable in the eyes of a Negro."
The cause of the eyes of the Jew is in the eyes of all the sorrow of the Jewish people. This eye disease can be cured.

xxx: how to determine that the posted program or site is a fake, used by scammers? Read the comments. If all the reviews are good, then it is clear. Because in any situation there is someone who doesn’t work!

On the official Russian-language forum of the popular service of distribution of games, sits some Alarik - an employee of the company, Americos learned the Russian language. Sometimes he gives out something funny.

Regarding Google’s update of its agreement:

"Nothing terrible, just another panic after the old news. In the same way, every few years, suddenly it turns out that the Sun emits radiation. Everyone screams, wears lead hats, science professors perform on television. Then everything begins to calm down, but suddenly it turns out that lead is toxic..."

I bought my father’s notebook, and now I work with him on Google. I asked what Google is. When I said, “Ask Google,” he said, “Here’s what I’m asking,” in my opinion, he’s just trolling me.

The answer:

“Well, look, Schwarzenegger is an Austrian, Stallone is an Italian, Van Damme is a Belgian, Bruce Willis is a German, Statham is an Englishman... And there are real state stars of the militants? andquot;

Chuck will not forgive you.

Sergey Zverev served in the ranks of the Armed Forces of the USSR in Poland, where he was the deputy commander of the squadron, subsequently served to the rank of senior sergeant.
Nikolai Rastorguev did not serve in the army.
That’s what the army does to people.

Let’s stay friends?
What services are included in the tariff "friends"?? to

The devil does not tempt me for one reason: he has nothing to offer me.

In the 1990s, I worked on repairing TVs at home by newspaper ads.
I come, a man has a problem with the lighting on a color lamp TV
(Maybe anyone remembers, there were P210 or 217 transistors on the output cascade). So the transistor is perforated, but not completely and after 2 minutes, as a result of its heating, the switch disappears completely - only the horizontal strip on the screen.
No problem, I go to the diplomat, and there are no details. is finished.
Man on his knees:... master, in 10 minutes a football match, well some kind of help...
Here is Eureka. I go home promising to come the next day, the man is sick for the team, and on the TV in a soap machine filled with water with the outputs upstairs on 40 centimetre wires lies a trance.
Three years passed. On the street, my uncle pulls me by the sleeve and cheers joyfully:
Hi to you!! Did he get anything in his jewelry? Can I clean it? ......
I looked at him without recognizing him and remembered. And the uncle continues: I am so accustomed, the water from the stove is extended and the norm is somehow accustomed.