J: By the way, Nastia will come to us tonight.
M: Your mother...
What you don’t like about Nathan.
M: It feels like she was born on the planet of Schleswig. There are no brains, no breasts, the head is inhabited by cockroaches.

Listen, if I have sex with a pregnant girl (well 3-4 months pregnant), will she get pregnant again? If so, when will the baby be born? A few months after the first or what? I just don’t understand such things very well.

taken from one forum:
Well, now I learned all the details of wearing pants under my ass.
I knew a long time ago that the fashion of wearing pants so low came from American prisons where prisoners are prohibited from wearing a belt. How low should I drop my pants? It turned out that how low the pants sit is determined by how much a prisoner wants and is willing to enter into, to put it gently, a close relationship with another prisoner. Since it is impossible to talk about this with supervisors in public places outside the camera, they have come up with this method of delivering signals to each other. The lower the trousers, the more ready and willing he is. Then this fashion went into normal life. So guys, pull up your pants, bleat!

I recorded the customer’s address by phone and asked:
What code is in the entrance?
The client asked surprised:
How do you know about the cat? As an ordinary hairy cat, you will not be allergic to wool.

x: VKontakte commentary to audio "Sounds of Nature"
X: I quote: Just the hair becomes dumb... The tears turn and the whole life flies before my eyes... A real relaxation!
N: I imagined myself in a different way.
X: This is the last relax, fatal

Laziness is the instinct of self-preservation, common sense, when the brain on the subconscious says to you, "Don't do this hinyu, no one needs it!"

by Ilya 17:39
Have the pony already appeared in the macdake?
Rome at 17:40
Aha
I just need to ask for a happy mil for a girl.
They will get some Pokémon if they need them.

Baas.org slowly but correctly turns into answers to mail.ru ))

In connection with numerous mentions, Icotta died from Chuck Norris.

I live in a small village next to the fire department. In the summer, each day, comrades firefighters change the water in the cars, the old is poured to the ground, the new is pumped. Well, how they decided to have fun and directed the hose strictly vertically up, they made the rain, and then stood and waited for all the water to flow out of the reservoir))) Seeing this picture, I heard my father's hysterical laughter. Father says through tears: Optimus is up!! to

- ~ ~ ~ ~

[0:39:28] xxx: write some psto
[0:46:53] xxx: describe in a hot spot how bad you are, how you are oppressed by the capitalist class
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
And no one oppresses me.
“I eat the unicorns, and I eat them.
XXX: I have nothing to say.
XXX: This is the perfect world.

What do you think about oral sex?
Natalo: I suspect that as well as you to moralXD

Mew

Dabbstep is not music.
YYY: So what is it?
zzz: these are the sounds of fucking transformers

YYY: Did you have that you need to go through the whole city on a subway with a gasoline without a blanket?
You are a maniac, right?
YYY: Everyone was just fuck :D
Fuck, fuck all the maniacs with the gasoline in the subway :D
xxx: the city of Phuistov :3
Moscow : 3

I lie with my girlfriend on the bed, getting ready to sleep. I explain some simple thing and give simple examples for visibility.
I: Well, in general, this is when the nose is itching and it cannot be scratched.
She scratches her nose
I: Well, or when you want to sneeze and it is not possible not to sneeze.
She screams *
I: Hm... Well, in principle it’s like a mine.
Second pause, wild rust of both

Questions from Miley:

Q: How to install Windows 8 SP2 on a tablet home phone?

Corporate, at the table opposite each other are sitting a young lawyer (you - 26 years old) and deputy. Director ( Z - 65 years old )
A: You understand, now is the New Year, celebration, family affairs...
YU: Listen, I understand, you hope for a New Year’s miracle, but you don’t get it!

Half of the office is under the table.

Tell me what anime you’re watching and I’ll tell you that you’re wrong with your head.

Dimka: Shas called from home credit. Hz why. Congratulations on the New Year. I asked if it was comfortable for me to talk. I think I’m going to say 'I’m going to be doing a good job'. The man swallowed. I will call back later :D

Nothing makes you feel the proximity of the future like a scream from the toilet "Please dictate me the password from the wifay!".