My Galaxy S3 has a face recognition unlock function.
He refused to unlock this morning.
That’s what the NHC celebrated with all the offices.

DoKir: I live in the Crestomatia Peter’s communal.
DoKir: I walk past the neighbor’s room and he’s in the screen:
DoKir:"So, Mr. Mu-Torrent, I like the course of your thoughts"

On his face was written: “I am for any engines, let me sleep.”

At the station:
Man: Girl, can I buy four tickets for one passport?
Of course, only you will go in four places.

KleoNika: How did you welcome the New Year? I hope you didn’t get drunk too much?
Metamorph: No that you are mother. They drank, but they were all on the corners.
Metamorph: on the horns!
Metamorph: Thief
Metamorph: on your feet!
KleoNika: Jana Nikolaevna from the 4th floor called, said you threw the couch in the window
Metamorph: What kind of sofa?
Metamorph: Oeyy bliyiyiyiyiyinn
KleoNika: Still on the horns...

The dry law teaches, they don’t drink where they don’t pour.

Chinese History of the 90s. On the route Dalian-Suifunhe passing Russian tourist noticed another bus, but wrongly lying on the side, wheels into the sky. From it people burst out feverily, in the only open door a traffic jamming was formed. Our tourists, all clean-healthy boatmen, rushed to help. They pulled out the traffic jams, broke into the salon, took out the windows and quickly threw all the victims into them. Outside, our tourists were carefully caught on their hands. Somehow, but tightly twisted, not regretting their pieces. They checked the bus to make sure it wasn’t going to explode. Long waiting on the highway for help, nothing to do put the bus on the wheels. And the passing Chinese persistently did not stop - carried on with their own affairs. Tired of pulling the hand of the grandmother passed - well, they still have a billion and a half!

I have a good car, I will take it!
Nothing to yourself! Lucia, show me where you take the money, I want it too!
No, Sam, you have such a place!

I walk in the headphones.
Eating with headsets.
I sleep in my headphones.
Maybe I will even die.
In the headsets

Commentary

Yes, it would be nice to die.
The headsets
ZZZ: No problem at all. Most often the road.
Go to the headphones. Happiness

No, I understand it all, but who fucking thought of translating the Wikipedia article about the ash in Esperanto?? to

At the meeting, she spoke for 15 minutes about how she taught children to make paintings of egg shells and other waste.
YYY: In primary school, these are not tasks for children, but for parents.
XXX: I have a daughter in the 6th grade. Now I have a cross for her. I’ve always thought that I’ve been taught this stuff at school. Now I understand why.

Those who get up late are the least cleaners in the apartment where the whole company celebrated the New Year.

XHH: First about the population, the legs are wiped out, and then wonder "and why did the specialists leave the bulgor?777"
xxh: "Let’s get them back, let’s get them back for a penny"

Comment on the hashtag on the topic with the quest, which turned out to be the advertisement of the book:

ArbuzzzZ
The only similar thing I’ve encountered before is when a friend sent me a word with an image that had a link to the dropbox, where there was a qr-code with a link to Yandex.Disk with an archive with a txt-file that had a link to YouTube, which opened a three-second video on which this same friend was taking a screenshot printing, where in Word was written a pair schedule for tomorrow, which I had him, in fact, and asked...

And here I go home on the street, at 9 a.m., up to the shirt, loud, like a young Pushkin, with demonically red eyes, with a fisted finger, with a fragrance piece of soap in one hand and a three-kilogram hose overweight in the other, and I understand - the holiday, in general, succeeded :)

Having seen total South Asian faces, in each footage of the concert from Red Square, I understood for whom all these half-stars sing for money and why the second day does not take the garbage near the house.

Ngs: Also in the vicinity of the “frosts” yesterday on Lake Bludce celebrated the New Year in their traditional way Novosibirsk divers. They dropped a dressed tree under the water and led horvades around it.

Dear Father Christmas! When I guessed not to gain weight for the New Year holidays, I didn’t mean diarrhea and vomiting all these days!

XX: A well-known fact: the larger the machine, the smaller the member.
WOW: This is why they are in "The Unstoppable" on smart driving)

New Year’s chat:

Coffee Mandarin: Coat Ridge Monopoc: well and nick o_o