bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 86 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25202
 24.01.2010
has_been_banned : Sandy saw the fight of cockroaches fighting for the pellet, falling for the computer.))
No Cigarettes: Who Won?
has_been_banned : I am

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №25201
 24.01.2010
Just on the "Sport+" commentator, commenting on hockey says that some player has removed the deadline. And immediately, without a pause, adds, there may be people with higher education and undermined this turnover, but I looked - the percentage of those who were left and were under investigation is equal to the percentage of people with higher education. In addition, I would advise people with higher education not to give up..."

[ + 92 - ] Comment quote №25200
 24.01.2010
Lawyer: Who are you working for?
Mathematics teacher.
I’ve never played mathematics, these theorems, these suffixes.
M is mm. In fact, the sufixes are from another area.
What is the difference in geometry?

[ + 95 - ] Comment quote №25199
 24.01.2010
We rested in a large apartment. Suddenly night came and it was decided to go to bed. And since the house is large and the apartment is small, there were not enough beds for everyone. Someone was sleeping on the kitchen sofa, someone in the hallway on a mattress, someone in a chair, etc. My friend and I got a couch. We decided to lie on a valley, the size of the couch allowed. We sleep. In the middle of the night, the couch suddenly thought to break and we cried down on the floor. During the fall, a box that served as a basket for papers for the owner of the apartment was destroyed and all the garbage that lay there was evenly distributed across the floor. From the roar and scream, the whole thus escapes, runs into the room and sees the painting with oil: on the floor, among the debris of the bed, two guys in cowards sit and in front of them - a used condom (which fell out of the box). I’ve never been so ashamed before...

c) The drone

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №25198
 24.01.2010
xxx: Better tell me how he got rid of the childhood mystery from the teacher "I am everywhere and I am nowhere. Who am I?", take and lick: "Electronic"?! to
YYY : HM Oh... Oh! You are also a physicist!

[ + 58 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25197
 24.01.2010
<xxx> YYY
<xxx> Awesome
<yyy> One Response
<xxx> One Response to One Response
<yyy> Doubts about your sexual orientation
<xxx> The Proposal to Overthrow Ebola
<yyy> Note that you are creating a vacuum
<xxx> 1 year old
<xxx> is more
<yyy> Authorship
<xxx> The Controversy
<yyy> A meaningless statement about Plankton
<moderator> RESPONSE TO A CASUAL REPLIC AND THREAT TO Forget THE CONTRAINTING PARTIES
<yyy> Word of admiration for seafood
<moderators> Acceptance of Terms and Conditions

[ + 89 - ] Comment quote №25196
 24.01.2010
<xxx> who has the eggs of fate???? to
“I have the eggs of fate, the sausage of death, the peanut of mercy, the straw of eternity, the oil of simplicity and the salt of goodness. I will make an apocalypse egg.

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №25195
 24.01.2010
XXX is
Sweet dreams with horses in the shape of clouds
YYY
Maybe clouds in the shape of horses...I don’t need nightmares!! to

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25194
 24.01.2010
What a dark man Obama is!

[ + 30 - ] [9 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25193
 24.01.2010
Our "experimental stand", or otherwise "OIS", had a fairly large machinery park and was essentially a well-developed, small machinery enterprise. What is not surprising, the team of stallions and slugs was diverse, but completely masculine. As in any experimental production, the monthly aurals alternated with a week of worklessness. During the fasting, the men for a salary diligently brushed steel-coated tables with domino bones, fought in a "chick" billiard, or ping-pong. When the domino was bored, the guys could joke about some of the beginner masters and engineers. When Fedka had his colored wet asphalt eight, bought from the Gypsies, forged in a motorcycle, they joked.
Quietly approached ten to look, one talk distracted, eight healthy obaltus with working palms pressed from above, so that the car on all the amortizers sat, and when they dropped abruptly, another obaltus on the concrete floor thrown the excess iron. The car jumped and ringed at the same time. Fedka, thinking that something important has fallen away, those Gypsy car sellers swore half an hour in one breath. Harmlessly so
“They climbed.” Everyone except Fedora.
The biggest authority in the group is Stepanic. The boss and the workers. He arranged it with iron. Stepanic is a sleeve. And not a simple healer, but also a complete universe. On all machinery from the presence tower to the DIP-500 and the simplest mattress saw could outperform any specialist. If in the drawings a mistake or uncertainty was seen, he corrected it himself. Quietly, without nerves and so that no one of the designers was dissatisfied. He did everything right and had an approach, because. As many as I knew, I never made a mistake.
All of our design "researches in engineering", if Stepanic handed them, worked properly and reliably. I never fled from work, but I was looking for it. Sometimes I could even stay overnight when Aural.
The only thing Stepanic avoided was the partnership and public work. During the meeting, Stepanic disappeared. Not by magic, but normally: the buildings of the OIS - former carriage workshops, residential houses and the figure he knows what else, connected by common corridors, basements, roofs, crossings and accessories, could "disappear" a couple of battalions, and not one clever, old slug.
Feddy is the other. This is not Stepanic. Everything comes from the reluctance to work. There are thousands of painful causes. Not that he was sick. On the contrary, even a very healthy thirty-year-old buggy. The Imaginary Truth. He sneezes at the medical center. Go back to the same examination again. And if the finger, do not give God, scratches without injection from the tetanus, it will not move from the place. So it will stand a pillar so that the infection does not spread throughout the body. But a public worker who needs to be sought in the day with fire. It is very emotional if you collect money for a gift, read political information, or write a note in a health newspaper.
If the assembly, then until the end of the session will vote and the last will leave. Not working at all. And his jokes were angry and ridiculous. and all k
Stephanie is indifferent. To pour epoxy in the closet from the closet, to support the door in the sorting bar, or to pour salt salt in the table soup, it is Fedika, not even to check.
His men warned. and masculine. Leave Stepanic in peace, let’s find out. I did not take. Stepanic has endured until now. Until at lunch from a beloved chair did not fall and stinked heavily: at sixty you will not fall beautifully. The foot was signed. Pizdec to you, Fedea, Stepanic quietly spoke, bored. This was the first time he heard his mother’s word at work.
Fitzgerald, of course, did and forgot about it. And in vain.
A day later, when Fedka came to work, he found a thick book in the size of a school album for drawing in his workplace. The Syphilis, 1967 edition. Bluntly tapping the book with his finger, and making sure that he is not surprised, Fedka asked whose. No one knew. Until lunch, the book remained untouched, but Fedykin's yesterday's "Evening" with a crossword, someone led. In the domino, Fedk was not taken by value, in the billiard was a full set, and in the ping pong he did not know. Fedi became bored and he took the book.
After missing a preface about the role of the CPSU and the Soviet government in the victory over syphilis in the USSR, Fedka went into reading.
The book turned out to be with pictures, pictures so terrible and colorful, and the text so colorful and vividly described the severity and completely incurable consequences of the neglected syphilis in the imperial and capitalist society that Fedka penetrated. He listed the pages, paying special attention to the description of symptoms and methods of prevention. From lunch in the workshop, he was late for two hours, was exhausted by the master, for the first time could not come up with an explanation for his wrongdoing and repent.
The next day, everyone in the dining room saw that a spoonful and a glass of Fedka had been brought from the house. He said he did not say goodbye to anyone in the morning. Feedka stopped using the shower and would go home dirty if he worked. For a week, Fedor was blacker than the clouds, scaredly staring at the sides and passing the metres by one and a half. Someone told me that he saw Fedka in the toilet near the mirror, looking at the pimple on his nose in a large lump. And when he had herpes on his lips, commonly called a fever, he disappeared for three days.
I returned relaxed, calm and cheerful. He even showed Stepanic a certificate from Sokolina Mountain about his absence of syphilis, although he did not talk to him. Fedor’s soul was singing.
The next morning he found a book on his book “Ishemic Heart Disease at a Young Age.” Or somehow.
A month later he resigned. To the chairman of the trade commission, who did not want to break up with such a valuable worker, he explained that he could not work in such a bad team where no one wants him to even measure the pressure and very nervous work. The Chairman of the Committee failed to convince him. and sorry.
Because I personally saw another medical book in Stepanic’s machine box, on the cover of which were large letters:
“The schizophrenia.”

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №25192
 24.01.2010
Yushchenko finally awarded the title of hero of Ukraine to Stepan Bandera and grumbled in the corner of the presidential cabinet.

[ + 240 - ] Comment quote №25191
 24.01.2010
The owner of the Wi-Fi access point with the name D300 in the village of Razdolny near Novosibirsk, tell the password! Share your good, or there is no other connection with the outside world. Subscribe to aska - four94six19six83, let's talk, I am ready to pay monthly.

Help good people. Bring to the best that you should push the plus!

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №25190
 24.01.2010
The fucking. I came to a terrible conclusion. It is impossible to write a complex program alone without bugs in it. It is impossible to combine two things in one body:
In order to write a good code, the hands must be straight and grow from the default location designated by nature.
To test the code, the hands should be as curly as possible and grow mostly from the ass.

[ + 88 - ] Comment quote №25189
 24.01.2010
In the Russian word two s.
YYYYYY: Yes
xxx: thank you
YYY: Do you write to someone that he doesn’t know Russian?
xxx: yes

[ + 100 - ] Comment quote №25188
 24.01.2010
XXX is
How to wash the superclean?

YYYY
Water and Super Soap


[ + 93 - ] Comment quote №25187
 24.01.2010
Somewhere a month ago, I used to play in the counter, set up a conversation on the microphone, there guys communicate, scream like "Don't run there" or "Let's go together" and I haven't played for a long time, it doesn't work well, everybody complains about me. I took and cracked that I played normally before, and then learned over the years of the army. After that, the conversation lasted for 5 minutes and a couple of people turned off. I want to believe that the teachers went to do.

[ + 122 - ] Comment quote №25186
 24.01.2010
[C and R]
I sometimes have the feeling that when you look at a torrent, it gets embarrassed and the download speed drops.

[ + 84 - ] Comment quote №25185
 24.01.2010
to this:

But when you have steam out of your mouth (in the cold, for example), do you also like to release it with a directed stream and feel like a dragon? = is

Do you drink a cup of coffee? ?

[ + 94 - ] Comment quote №25184
 24.01.2010
A little girl bought a horse. Classical type
The horse looks natural, plush like that.
I sleep a bad sleep in a dull room, I dream of all the shit, disgust,
Fear and ugliness. I wake up in a cold sweat, my instinct calls.
and sorter. Not yet recovering, I begin to bow my hand on the floor in search of
The Shoes. Suddenly I feel somebody’s thin mocked leg with a puddle.
I barely sat...

[ + 84 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25183
 24.01.2010
Everyone screams - "Nanotechnology - Nanotechnology"...
In Tvery the area is heated by a 60-year-old steam car!
This is what you need to do, not take the whales out of the bell!

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