The most foolish advertisement I’ve ever seen is the advertisement of a sticker, where a girl with menstrual periods, on a patch of patch, beats a guy from other girls.

"These stupid shiny ones! You will not get to the real daughter, but you will lick the hair of the dead grandmothers.
by L. N. Tolstoy Anna Karenina

A man must struggle all his life to prove that he is a man, so that a woman can relax and feel like a woman.

If you want to hide your age, pretend you don’t know what a discet is.

Tagged: fucking
Kondrat: Timoshenko approached and said: “I can’t find my annual report for the past year. It is not in any file. how to find it?" I say: through the search... it is such: "aaaaaa, that is, in the yandex to enter the "Year Report 2011 Timoshenko" and it will be found?
These are the types of people we work in the government.

Even crazy money must be spent wisely. - Bakutkin

A story about how the Italians taught Africans to engage in agriculture:

We arrived there with Italian seeds, in southern Zambia, in this magnificent valley stretching down to the Zambezi River. We taught locals how to grow Italian tomatoes. We were surprised that the locals in such a fertile valley did not engage in agriculture at all. But instead of asking them why they didn’t grow anything, we just said, “Thank God, we’re here.” Just at the right time to save the people of Zambia from hunger.

And, of course, everything grew great in Africa. We had these wonderful tomatoes. We told the Zambians: See how easy it is to engage in agriculture.
When the tomatoes became beautiful and ripe and red, suddenly at night about 200 begemots came out of the river and ate everything.

We said to the Zambians, “O my God, Behemoth!
And the Zambians answered, “Yes, that’s why we’re not doing agriculture here.”
Why did you not tell us?
You have never asked.

What is synonym?
A synonym is a word that is written instead of a word whose spelling is not known.

The xxx:
There was Percy there.
Because of the bad assessments, he ticked his diary and spoke to the request to present "I was stolen by his Gypsies." And I told the story.) in our school then before the issue was a memo "the Gypsies stole"))) explained everything: from the missing other people’s bread to where the money went to repair the school).

The town is a magical place. You go like this, you think, here I will come: I will wash dishes, I will cook, I will eat, I will clean up, I will read the article, I will work with the results of science, but it is only necessary to cross the threshold of the room, as the whole space in my head is occupied by the thought, I don't want to do anything, I want a piu-piu-piu.

A friend who was drunk said:
It was before that I was a brother and brother, and now I am a virgin and a programmer.

On one of the erosites on the forum was asked the question:
The woman made a mine. How to be now? (Maybe not literally, but the point is the same.)
One of the answers (in my opinion the best):
Throw it in the ass and everything will be fine!

xxx: Generally speaking, we have been waiting for a long time, but the release date has not yet been announced. The only hope remains is that the project will be completed.
Wow, how damn I got fucked up who can’t learn one single rule of writing in verbs!!! What to do??? Hopefully!! to
xxx: How I was caught by people who have learned one single rule and are constantly reminded of it, not allowing the possibility that a person could simply be sealed. If you are such a knowledgeable of the Russian language, correct all the spelling mistakes on your own, without the help of Google and Word in the phrase: "On a colossal dusted terrace near the mouthpiece, the wife of the not-known meat-eater Agrafena Savvicna subdued the subjection of the collegiate assessor Apollo Filimonovich with mollusks, venigret and other manifestations under the accompaniment of a chordion and a violin.

In the birthplace. one one. My husband has gone. I didn’t believe that the children after birth were a little swollen and decided that our son was Chinese. It’s funny and I want to cry, kill me please!! to

He tried to photograph his wife on the phone, in the evening, on the street. Of course, nothing went well.

Wife: Well, is it going?
I: No, you can’t blind a bullet from the shit.

I didn’t even understand why she was offended.

xxx: She had such a trained mouth that she could even blow up the bubbles from the goodron.

We talked to a friend who came to work with us in the office.
Q: How are you here?
I: Yes, the compounds are really terribly old. And you have to process Excel files with millions of positions. Press "Open" and go...
Q. to drink tea?
I am... on vacation...

Fuck the translators! I’m not going to pay them for Google. They translated “multi-world space of the atrium” as “full of light space of an atrium”.
Full of light! and atrium! Children of Flowers! Hippie is fucking! All of them shit!

Knowing which office we are talking about: and you, gentlemen, when you announced the vacancy, what did you think? We cut off professionals, because for some reason we want a normal salary for serious work. You have hired students from Lower Zadrishchenko, so don’t be surprised by the consequences. My colleagues and I really laughed, thank you for the good mood :)

Yes, especially this rule works when after an airplane landing everyone is told to sit down, and the people get up!

Not so long ago, my friend on the wheel to the perron, after listening to the stura’s futile requests to stay stuck until the engines completely stopped, did the following:
The 2nd pilot said – this behavior is indestructible, sympathizing with the steam... it is useless to fight.

My friend said – why?
If a car or a car crashes in front of us, what will we do?
2 to stop.
Commander, this is how we brake!

Three minutes later, when all the Kegles got up, rubbing their knots and bluffs, the crew apologized to the passengers for the emergency on the steering wheel.
I think I’ve learned for a lifetime! :)

Anatoly Sukhov
History: The computer was scary, then it smelled wiring, I was scared and turned off"

Primary inspection of the corpse: Behind the system unit (among other things, the shell) are rolled socks, partially pulled by the fan of the power unit... the body temperature in the area of B\P is about 60 degrees.

Diagnosis after the scan: BP still died from overheating, amputated, a donor organ is expected.

P.S Everything happened, but in my memory - this is the first computer suffocated by socks.