XXX: Read the joke, yesterday at work happened!
xxx: Approaches my partner with my parents and complains "Alexandrovna, and Yura called me a bad word!"
What is "What is???and "
Tagged with: "Children"
Man on the nerves "And what??? Is that a terrible word??? Stop running out"
The child "...learning"
The man "?? to

Is ice cream better than sausages?
Smoking is even better than sausages!

Never ever! Never, after finishing watching porn on the notebook, do not close the cover and do not turn it into sleep mode! Who knows when, and most importantly, to what audience you will open it next time!! to

I felt a double feeling today when I was driving with a taxi driver listening to a soundtrack for GTA 3. On the one hand, I wanted to get a shotgun and steal a couple of cars, on the other hand, I was afraid that the driver was about to go to the meeting and the trailer would be thrown into the truck...

A frosty winter day, the office on the basement floor, came apparently from the municipality, to smash the caterpillar. After a 10-minute ride in the glass flooded the icebergs, imitating a bombing. A colleague next to the button from the external blinds, without breaking away from work, pressed it and in the office slightly began to darken, loud sounds rolled around the room. A loud voice, full of panic: “All the energy on the shields!!! Everyone is ready for a hyper race!! Bring us out of here, we will not last long.”

I have a very good wife. If by night I kill everyone in the apartment, wash dishes, prepare meals for tomorrow, wash, do lessons with children, then she allows, after falling asleep, to quietly watch porn on the Internet.

Yesterday the footage on the television killed...there was some joke about detectives...that is, the scene. The grandmother and the man argue, the grandmother is psychotic and runs out on the street, there she is hit by a car on the road.it means the body is in the blood on the car's cap, then the man begins to shout: "Julia, Julia, what happened to you? andquot;
and bleak. I don’t know what happened, I got poisoned with cake.

SES: Here’s it, pops, now we know how to create holograms. The Japanese learned to transmit tactile sensations through the Internet, smells. If in the future the holograms are made of something more dense, then we will be able to create the effect of a full human presence in a place where it really is not!
Elakva: I’m watching you’re not leaving your ideas of creating interactive prostitution.
Yes, how would it be)

Today is the high birthday. No all-Russian channel shows anything, but we remember.

XXX is
Well, we usually have everything in extremes, if it is cold, then minus 30, if the snow is around the belt.
YYY
In the case of elections, 146%
YYY
= D
XXX is
= D = D

Once I drank in the company and everyone got together and there was such a dialogue.
xxx: here are you guys when you catch a penis, what are you lying on the ribbons?
YYY:...
Yyy: No, he hangs down
XX: Do you not be afraid of it?
YYY: What is it?
XXX... in the shit.
Here I catch that the girl has never seen a penis in a calm state.
Yyy: in general, in a calm state, it decreases once in three.
You are lying to me!!! to

I sleep with my husband at night. in the other room sleeps the daughter (3 years). Sometimes she asks us to sleep with us at night, but because she is afraid of the darkness she calls us out of the room. The night, we sleep, the daughter cries: "mama". I push my husband and say "Take the little", silence. I understand that it makes no sense to wake up, I get up and go for the little one, lay back..in 5 minutes he answers with a sleepy voice: "And she didn't say where to take her?"...unfortunately the demand didn't think to say: "from the disco!" :)

Our affordable housing is the most affordable in the world!
I rented land from the state, on the condition that if I build a house there in 5 years, I will be able to privatize the house and the plot. The house would only be built - a modest house 6x8 with a fence in the middle. The construction took 200 mph. After six months, the documents...
A bunch of commissions, a bunch of documents and a bunch of money - quite expected, but! The Apophis:
Fire Inspection
The SNiP on the same page indicates the thickness of the partition (expansion of the pipe in the place where it passes through the ceiling) in sequence: 130mm, the next point is 250mm, another point is 375mm, and at the end of the note "for all cases" is 500mm. The inspector gets the calculator and folds 130+250+375+500=1255mm, and this is in each direction!!! Thus, with the size of the oven 80x50cm I get a tube 276x263,5cm
To all questions one answer - "so written", but the inspector for the modest 15t.r. He will close his eyes and sign the document.
Fucking people, full fucking people

Do I say weird?
In a multiplier? I am afraid that yes...

From the Cadastre, post about the new electric car from BMW:

xxx: guys borrow a charge, bmw
Will it go from Volvo?

– Oh, I see the telecast – it turns out, Americans also play hockey?
Why not play them?
"Well, they must have their own hockey, according to the type of football: an oval shayba, which is thrown with their hands, and cloves, so that each other can fuck.

You know that in every photo there is a piece of soul.
Do you mean, photomodels – soulless creatures?

From the foreign website, review of the product:
thank you. Order received. All rabotaet.Postavschik dispatched the goods fast and good quality.

xxx: Then, though, the special effects were real, not entirely computerized, as they are now.
WOW: Yes, it’s always a pleasure to know that two cascading legs and three pyrotechnic fingers were broken during the filming. Styles what? Well, a cup of coffee was poured on the key...not that at all.

Three hipsters sit by the fire. They decided to argue whose inner world is richer.
I recently watched an arthouse movie. Now I am not the same as before, says one.
“The book is still better,” said the other. I read and understood its secret meaning.
The third hipster said nothing. Only the ipad turned.