To begin with, if I write the word “I”, it’s really me, I don’t like to convey other people’s stories in the first person. Once in my life, I managed to take an autostop, that is, "completely free" to ride a plane, but people, it was unforgettable. I found myself in Turkey, at Antalya airport with a hundred and fifty backs and without a ticket. There was a timid hope that for this money I could buy a ticket at least in the common car of the aircraft :) When I arrived at the airport, I saw that in the next twelve hours only one aircraft flew to Moscow without identification signs in Vnukovo, that is, the flight was clearly reserved. When I looked at the situation, I found out that “some kind of football team” was flying. I had to wait for the flight to find out who it was. One and a half hours before the departure, two buses arrived at the airport with the proud inscription "Locomotive" on board. Half of the Russian football team fell from the bus.
Sikhov, Izmailov, even fig knows who, I am not very interested in football.
This procession was led by an uncle by the last name. By the way, I didn’t know him in the face, which then played a bad joke with me. When I walked away from the first swing, I had the courage to ask who was the chief. I was shown a man in a dark jersey and told that he was the coach.
There was no choice but to go to him for a gift. When I asked if I could fly with them, he wept so much that he just asked me what a fucking mountain. I honestly answered that I walked 2500 kilometers from Egypt. He turned to one of the players and asked, “Well, let’s take a fool?” I was issued a ticket, money was not taken, then registration, duty free, where I asked Sychev to leave me an autograph on the ticket and board the plane. It seemed like everything was tired, in the plane I sat in the tail, so as not to light, the plane had already gone to speed up, but there was a scream of some man in a sporty shape, as I understood by my scandalousness, it was the manager of the team. No one told him that there was a rabbit on the plane.
He came to me and cried:

You are who?
I was allowed to fly here.
Who allowed it?? to
The Man in the Dark Jump...
What kind of man, man??? Stop the plane, who is it?
The Baggage Bomb!! to

I was frightened, the border control passed, now the naked is thrown out on the runway, and the hell knows what to do.

He spoke:

Show me who let you go.

And I, after all, do not remember the former face, well allowed it all. Go look for him.
found in business class. He, reading the newspaper, calmly said, “I allowed it.”
He immediately silenced, I was stuck further in the tail so that it would not light up, and we flew.
Already on the flight to Moscow, I asked the goalkeeper of the team, sitting next door, to collect autographs of Sychev and Izmaylov for his wife, who was sick for them at the World Championship or Europe. Upon flying to Moscow, I approached Byshevts already at the airport, apologized for the confusion and asked for his autograph. So I’m holding a falsified paper with all these signatures.

During the Ukrainian presidential election, Yanukovych received 1.5 times more votes than the never-seated Prime Minister Tymoshenko and 7 times more than the never-seated President Yushchenko. Thus, Ukrainian voters made it clear that, in their opinion, a small seat would only benefit Yulia Vladimirovna. And for Viktor Andreevich it is just necessary!

I wish you a pleasant appetite!Only after being sure that I’m not eating his products.

I’ve noticed that when you want sex, even such little things as numbers in your closet "69" subtly hint...

Tagged with "Batman"
Welcome to the company’s corporate website "Batman". Activities: Security systems, anti-terrorist and inspection equipment.

Fuck, I fell out, it’s fucking xDDDD wondering what form the employees...xDD

K-v-a-z-a-r: I present you with: The Anime Hoops. They sit under a saucer, drink saucer, eat pumpkin seeds with sticks... a boy passes by, the raptors get up! Repairing the kimono. They ask questions! Listen to her! What a prefecture!
MageasteR: There’s something to see, right? And if I find it, no?

In my life, I hate to shave and not shave.

The actors of the Frankfurt Theatre were drunk at a performance based on the poem of Venedict Yerofeev "Moscow - Cows" and fell from the stage.
As a requisite in the show used real vodka, which the audience had no idea.
The actors then and then jumped up, praying "Nastrofie!". Then they scattered the sheets with the texts of the roles on the stage and went on to improvisation, beginning to spill the spectators.
The drunkenness of the actors became apparent only after one of them, sitting on a chair, dropped and fell from the stage with his back into the auditorium, and another fell under the table.
In total, three operational police teams, four patrol cars and service-search dogs were involved in the elimination of the effects of the spectacle "Die Reise nach Petuschki" (Die Reise nach Petuschki).

Training for landing on the spaghetti:
If you are left to the floor less than 20 cm, then before performing the exercise under one of the legs you can put a small elevation (a foot of books, etc.).) and put the other leg on something slippery (watch magazines).

The xxx:
It is slippery!!! to

The xxx:
Imagine the effect of that ?

YYYY :
They would still write to the other leg to tie the horse and knock it on the rail))))))))))

Tell me a story for the night.
He: Jay, I am a whole tale.
She: I don’t even know how to ask: and the end is bad or good?
It is O_O

She: Well all, good night I fucking
He is: )))))))))))))))))))))))
She: Oh, I have described myself!
He is: )))))))))))))))) *patty*

If men knew what women were thinking, they would be twenty times more obnoxious.
by Pizzo.

Why the writings of professors sometimes have the same meaning as the abstract paintings. You look at the board and think: What did the author want to tell us?

Friends for the first time...
XX: Have you ever boiled water for tea on a bowl?
YYY: I see you there being taught to survive in communion?
No, we are learning ourselves. Where to go? There is no tea, the only pot is occupied with soup. Of the remaining metal dishes, only a bowl... And sweet tea is very desirable...

In the computer graphics competition won Left, he managed to insert his name, URL and photo in one pixel.

This can only be in Russia.
According to a recently adopted law, the cheapest vodka should cost 89 p. In the store, the cheapest vodka was worth (!and 40 rubles.
The same store. On the shelf is the same, the cheapest vodka, but with the price of 89 p. and below the ad:"Action:you buy one bottle of vodka and the second as a gift!"

According to the results of the tests, thanks to the widespread access to pornographic resources, including the Internet, the number of rape cases in the last 25 years has decreased by 85%.

Porn will save Golakteko!!! to

Student girlfriend in community:
I read websites about weight loss, realized that in order to start eating at least somehow, I need to sit on a diet

HeadBuch: It turns out, this is a bad sign, when in the morning before entering the parking lot near the office, the road is crossed by a sysadmin...

An idea of what air conditioning should look like for owners of cars with xenon not provided by the factory design. No demons, scraps and other dirt. Gothic and technological. The sinner is placed in absolute darkness. and full. To close the eye for nothing. So a minute. Within a minute right in his eyes - xenon far away! for 20 seconds. Then again darkness. Light in the eyes again. Closing them, or turning your head away - it is not possible. And so for centuries.
and yes. It would be good if he would occasionally cry, “Lord, why am I tormented?”A loud voice from the sky answered:
My son is lost! Do not crack! I checked – Nothing is blind!"