Watched the first lesson of the video course "How to learn to play the piano at any age in just 5 days".

and super. She first says that she has been playing music for 15 years, then she tells us what notes, keys and octaves are, and then she says “JUST repeat after me” and she starts heracling the song from “Titanic” in her two hands. For some reason I thought it would be easy! How to do Negro! It’s like in that anecdote from the 90s that a guy in a jeep showed a man who was on a penny and stuck in dirt how to get out properly. The boy went into the dirt, turned on the full drive, left, and then the man: "understood how to?and "

A friend on the page in the social network has a brick - a beautiful female ass in pants and the inscription "This is what you need to see in the morning."
A comment from the girl - I would be happy! But my husband for some reason persistently refuses to wear the string;))

Do you want to go skiing? and :)
I want to live: I want to live
Zhenchek: Unknown

Do you remember unreal trnmt/quake? Where was the flag?
Yvoz: Now I read in the news:
Yvoz: Around 10:00 Moscow, the militia conducted the first counterattack in a few hours. Shelling the opposition with rubber bullets, the fighters of Berkut broke through the barricades, seized the flag of Ukraine, after which they withdrew back.
Dvoz: :))))))))))) capture the maidan

My brother and I stand at the stop.
Bus Fishing
There is no bus.
Look at the schedule.
He says, “Of course, in eight minutes.
I: What is he doing on the schedule?
Brother: No, but when it is very cold in the winter, I comfort myself with this.

From the comments to the news here:

I offer the state a way to replenish the budget: to sell bills on the right to send a official. Small officer 50 thousand. Large – 250 thousand Controller in the bus - 7 thousand 500 rubles. Provide a subscription (send officials of different levels several times). Well, and of course, a privileged - for pensioners. There is a huge field of possibilities. I would buy it myself.

Chapter 1: How is it? Why are you not sleeping?
No. 2: yes, it was a fascinating evening - the main slide was stuck and it went to the bath. :D
It’s fun :D
No. 2: the truss through the toilet did not help - removed the toilet and part of the hole and kicked the fucking children's plastic sword
Number one :D
No. 1: Fucking like the story of the film Tarantino
No. 1: meaningless, gone and mostly unexpected
No. 2: The wife dropped almost a full slice of dried potatoes with her bone
Number one :D
Chapter 2: Here
No. 2: I didn’t know that the potato got it all, and I threw it down.
No. 2: but then he stood with a sword in his hand as if he had struck a fecal demon from the LOL dogma.
I am happy I am happy :D

I have a room in the apartment - I (m) and two neighbors live. Pulled to one.
M: Here we three live here, you can play in a full family ;)
Yes, two mothers and a child

From Router:
I have not seen such translations since the time of the 7th wolf. The meaning is of course understandable... but it always feels like you are a Tajik in Moscow. You know, but somehow through the ass.

I went to Thailand for the winter. I wake up in the morning and the rain is coming. I say to my wife: look, it’s cold today, Yandex +28 shows. She replied, “So what do you want, chestnut frosts!

What should Serdyukov know if even Khodorkovsky was released for his amnesty?
by konde13

Do not play basketball.

Someone very clever said, “Courtesy is the easiest way to exist.” Ever since I heard this phrase, I have been convinced every day that it was right, even yesterday:

I stood in the Ashan at the newspaper shelf, laid out the magazines and watched in the edge of my eyes as a couple in the neighboring department tried to remove a thermos box from the upper shelf. At the bottom, all the boxes were either open or splintered, and there, at an unattainable height, they stood flat and new, stood and handled, even offensive.
A couple, forty years old, both of a small rooster, a wife in a jersey and with a complex, high haircut, a husband in a puddle, a puffy fur hat on his head. I still thought they had gathered for guests, but at the very last moment they remembered the gift and walked on the way to the store.
The man stood up on his socks, even jumped, and wherever there, I was even higher by half the head, and without jumping, I saw that it was impossible to get to that shelf, I needed a taboo.
The aunt began to be obsessively nervous and she wasn’t able to do it at all, especially with her hair. And the man remembered that he was "a reasonable man" and decided to use the tool of labor.
He removed the hat from his head, knocked it on a rope a couple of times, stumbled and tried to arc the damned thermos, but... it didn’t work out exactly as Cowboy Malborough had expected. At the very last moment, he did not hold the rope, the hat slipped out, flew onto the shelf and hid himself cleverly behind the thermos.
The wife said everything she thought about her husband's sports achievements, he also didn't help in the pocket for the answer, but next to him was a shop employee in a red shirt and the spouses switched to him:
"You hear, boy, go, pull the stairs, there is my hat, you see, here is the rope hanging. Hurry up, we are late.
Sorry, but I don’t have a ladder.
So find it. He has no stairs.
- You know that, please contact the administrator, he is on the other side, behind the line of cash, and I have to go to work, sorry.
Oh, where did you go? Look at him...

When the guy in the red shirt still left, the spouses again began to argue and build plans to save their hat, as suddenly, the huge white shoes quietly approached them from behind.
I raised my head and only then saw the giant, a basketball player, two meters tall, standing behind the back of angry spouses, the hat lying on the shelf, was approximately at the level of his eyebrows. The basketball player stood up so little and when he was finally noticed, he said:
- But if you were there, at the entrance, not chicking over the size of my shoes, then I would be happy to help you now. Let me have the “slaps”, but the hearing is good.

Then, with two fingers, he gently attached to the shelf the rope hanging from the hat and, without looking back, went on, then and then bending his head to avoid hitting the advertising posters.

Football remains the last legal way to buy a Negro.

from ZH:

The police detained the mathematician N. on charges of fraud. As the verification showed, Lemma 3.1 in his latest article was incorrect. The prosecutor gave the court a counter-example.

xxx: Karmadrocher's phrase, it's like a woman says'something' me this dress will fill me, asking for a compliment.
yyy: You can only answer this phrase: "Everything is okay with the dress, just you’re fat":D

Yesterday on the Maidan they shouted "MAMBU GET".
A dating site. Probably not given to someone.

British actor Hugh Laurie wrote in the social network that he would boycott Russian goods if they were.
The comments:
Is he not a pedicure?
YYY: xxx, and you want to offer him yourself as a decent domestic product?

Talk about fitness:

“My two cats love to climb into the closet at night and land on the bed without war, ideally on my stomach.

I don’t press, I don’t need to. I have a constant 24-hour tone.

News with the title "Google will build its own airport". The first comment:
With blackjack and prostitutes?

to this:

Russia: Pay, or we will turn off gas!
Ukraine: Let's get a discount, or we will turn off "Tanks"
Russia: Okay (

"Tanks" in Russia