I need more boredom:
A bit of boredom:
In our organization, Sisadmin is an important one - he looks at everyone from above, walks on the pavilion, screams at users like a droph. He was on vacation and I wanted to replace him. He has a job, I will tell you, not to lie down. In two weeks changed the dead keyboard and the router once restarted. Well, in the server mouse capture from mice freed. That’s all his job! As a lawyer, I did it. Where did the admin have so many ponts?

The fact that he now has such a job suggests that he had to get well at the beginning, when establishing a stable network.

Something I doubt that the administrator, transferred the work to an employee who has no idea about his work... Maybe he just asked the flowers to water while he is away?
Check question: have you given at least one admin password from at least one server?

My girlfriend has a cold and a nose. During the sex she said, “Tdush me!” Like the Swan of Winnie Pooh. I couldn’t go any further, I was roaring all night :D

Yesterday, when the alarm sounded, instead of the usual thoughts about work and the upcoming day, the phrase clearly sounded in my head: "The guys prepared so much, the dream was rehearsed, if I wake up now and don't look at it, it will be somehow ignorant." Convinced of this impeccable argument, he turned off the alarm and turned to the other side to examine the dream.

A map doctor is when you are taken to a hospital with an open fracture, you are ripped out of shock and pain. You are placed in the chamber, the doctor comes to you, shouts, "God, the pellet is torn! So many clowns!! Nurses, take a spit!” And you start roasting like a madman, for a moment forgetting the pain.

Every morning, at about the same time, a jeep runs on a fairly long sidewalk and drives pedestrians. Along the pavement is a pocket, i.e. An insoluble situation, such as no longer going out on the road - no... How is it legal to study it?

Draw into the asphalt... and build a snowboard around it!

Liked a man? Keep that distance... Don’t dig to disappointment...

History of a gastroenterologist. Gastroscopy is when your gastrointestinal tract is shamelessly viewed from the inside. If they want to look at the stomach - then in the mouth they insert a tube with a thick pipe. Inside the fiber tube, on one tip of the bulb (this tip through your mouth is stuck inside) on the other - the lens in which the doctor looks and sees the state of your ulcer and how much time you have left to live. This is about the stomach. And if they want to look in the rectum or colon, then insert a iron tube with the same filling. But they are not inserted into the mouth, but from the back of the trunk. They also watch. 50 to 70 cm. The procedure is painful and humiliating. This is, so to speak, a preamble. Ambulance in the ambulance.
At the reception for this very yuposcopy, the one not in the mouth, came an imposing man of Caucasian nationality. It is already gray. 3 in costume. For the procedure, he was deprived of his pants and placed on his four legs on the laboratory table. The doctor began to squeeze the tube carefully and polently asked:
Do you not hurt?
in response:
and Daraa! In this situation, you can already!

How much do not curse the economy with the words "diversification, targeting, strategizing", and in order for it to rise, you just need to steal less.

For more than a year I had no relationship, I was looking for a girlfriend... and...
Solved the problem! No more problems! Now I am completely satisfied with my job!
In the weekend (

In general, today I go to work at night, the boss went to work...
I work at the CB, in the development department, because it is necessary to load the tea bar a lot, the boss is an interesting person, if the most urgent is done, it allows you to rest a little, guess crosswords, play the comp and so on. Then we work more productively. I pulled the joystick of Nesovsky to work - to play in the race (good - the comps are powerful). And there he began to leave him. The boss asks me:
Why don’t you play at home?
No time at home, business at home.
Oh this is how!
I am going to work at night today...

1st I am pregnant
2nd I have diabetes.
Three I am driving.
4 is I have two children of different ages, they are suitable for medications from a certain age.
For me, on the package of each tablet with large red letters, I need to write a lot of restrictions. All this information is on the inside. And you can read it before buying - pharmacists give these instructions to read.
And there are also allergies, heart attacks and etc.

If I survive her, I will publish a book of her opus.

You know, people are like pieces of Lego. They are not always close to each other.
Oh, that’s a square shit!
Fire is here! That’s why we split up! You are not taking me seriously!
MMM: Yes, because of that, dear.
... separated
Two weeks have passed.
Here is SMS.
Fire: Well that is. The puzzles.

xx: And in general, I believe that DiCaprio in the “Survivor” should have added to the cabin, open the door, and there the “hateful eight”.

But here is how to explain that an ordinary horse was able to live more than 30 years. At the same time, due to the lack of a tractor, carried everything: wood, seam and iron. Not only their own gardens, but also a dozen other neighbors.

But she never became the chairman of the collage.

At the cost of a half-liter bottle of 2 rubles 87 kopecks, a quarter cost 1 ruble 49 kopecks. Someone noticed that the value of a quarter (1,49) in the degree of the value of a half-liter (2,87) is equal to the number "pi" (3,14159) with an accuracy up to the fourth sign after the fifth (the difference is 0,00076). The Ostryaks concluded from this that, under the Communists, prices are not taken from the ceiling, but are established on a scientific basis.

The Thief 19358!
It is forbidden to drive at a temperature of 39. In this state, you are clearly not adequate and in the degree of danger you differ little from a bucharick. Therefore, a normal goat without any alcotesters should pull you out of there and send you to a medical examination.
And the best way to get rid of angina is to regularly rinse the throat with antiseptics, which includes alcohol. And precisely splashing. Spray is smooth. "People’s remedy without alcohol: strong tea with ordinary salt. You lose weight at least every 2 hours, and all angina passes exactly in 1 day. is verified.

What I liked most about this African-American Oscar scandal is that critics don’t suggest which of the co-writers could be nominated. Their skin color is already an achievement in cinema.

I work at an online store. The customer received his order (a dog haircut machine). When examining it turns out that the machine for dogs of decorative breeds, and the buyer's dog to the decorative does not pull, found nothing smarter than to ask:
Is there a list of compatible dogs?
A second break, a friendly rooster.

to this:
In the village they remember childhood. One of the posts:
With the balconies we called each other for communication. To communicate... From the balconies... Three balconies participated in the conference (two adjacent on the floor and one on the floor above), it used to be - another couple connected. I remember still hanging my back to the fence to look at the upper balcony until the parents see (I now remember, up the skin, I would have killed for such tricks). And once the wall collapsed in the toilet, adjacent to the corridor - so we read magazines until late and shared cookies through the hole until we finished the communication portal.
Now everyone in different cities, countries, have grown up, contacts have all been lost. For me, they are the ones who are crazy, mapy, with big curious eyes... I can’t get used to the fact that they are already other people. Why am I...? Remove the balconies.

I was four years old, in a slightly different situation (but just without supervision), fell off the balcony. And survived and did not catch some miracle, 7th floor. So yes, it’s better to stick.

While there are village cats and city cats, I remembered one story.

My aunt had a cat. Well, how was it... rather, it was she who had it, will sometimes lie down and wounds go down, and all the rest of the time in the surrounding gardens and courts good and justice in his cat understanding causes.
And this cat once a year was taken to the cat in the neighboring hill, bringing light and joy and replenishment of the cat tribe. He will live there for a week-and-a-half on selective foods, the cat is picked up and returned to his home. The last time they bring this annual Romeo on the second day with the words: "He ate, looked at the cat with one eye and fell asleep!"
Cats are cursed.