The vacation...

As long as I sleep, the alarm doesn’t sound.
I only go to the toilet and the refrigerator.

HHH: And there are also offices and holograms.
WOW: Are the Holotures the same, only flat?
HHH : No. This is "marine cucumbers". They are just like smoked cucumbers, but they were embarrassed to call them so.
A office is like a hat that eats wrought ropes.
You can speak human language whenever you want.

Handheld 40-mm Hydra grenade from Milkor. It differs from “competitors” by the ability to fire in automatic mode, emptying a ten-charged store in 2 seconds.
YYY: I am curious why? In what situation can a fighter need to shoot 10 grenades in 2 seconds?
ZZZ: The Boss

People with a really high IQ are considered those who bought for all the dollars of 32 rubles.

When downloading software from the Internet, there is a 30% chance of hacking something from spam-ad-Trojan viruses, and an 80% chance of hacking the Yandex browser.

The Male Logic

Tell a woman
She became fat, old, and so on.
The truth is not offended.

He says he needs to change his socks more often.

P.S. Then they are surprised that they are given socks for 23

How is the news about the router different from the news about Russia?
“Everything is fine, everything is on the way, we have no sanctions, the people support us..." – so, in the case of a router, this is true.

We sit with a colleague, discuss our office instructions, which we have just made for ourselves:
- You know, given that we still signed it and approved it, we could write any nonsense in it.
For example?
- for example: "the system administrator is engaged in drinking alcoholic beverages during working hours"
And the naphira? I don’t drink, you don’t drink.
Well, at least there will be a reason to spy on us for not performing functional duties :)

For many years I have not bought paper newspapers, everything that is interesting from the media, I read on the Internet. I needed a newspaper for business purposes.

I approach the kiosk, thinkfully look at the shelf, I ask, say, which newspaper is the largest in format? I get an open answer:

Do you have a table? Take this. Pot flowers for transporting wrapping usually take this. And the windows to glue this is better, she has the paper softer...

In short, no matter what we think there on our internet, the paper press will not die, comrades!

I recently stood and waited for a friend, went into the entrance and saw a large flower and just wanted to tear off one leaf, as the guard runs out and begins:
Idiots in their duo
She doesn’t let me say a word, just repeating that phrase.
Grandpa, do you have nothing to do?
I went to Sberbank for a conflict, but found it here.
Here I was, I didn’t know what to say. Then they went along with a friend and roasted like a sinker!)

from here:
here here :

>>Ejzai in Somalia - there are no taxes paid and therefore there is no security, no infrastructure, nothing...

Why so far away? It is enough to travel to any industrial city in the Urals (except for Ekb and Chelyaba) - no taxes (pay the head office in a civilian city), no security, no infrastructure, looks like Somalia after 15 years of civil war.

You have a school there too, right?

In the cities there are still, in the villages no longer - the results of optimization. How to get first-class girls 15 km to school - no one cares (theoretically, there is a school bus, of course, but then it has no gasoline, then it is broken, then the road has not been cleaned yet)

The ordinary Russians are awaiting cold, hunger, mass unemployment, millions of new refugees from Central Asia.

“I’m not a serious person, so I don’t cheer – and why will thousands of migrants flee to us in the cold and hunger? To be young and young, right?

XXX: The attitude of sisadmines to the users is the same as that of doctors to patients - seemingly disgusting, but unfortunate. I have to cure one shit. Then you will be guilty! And the chief physician of the prize to deprive Norvit.

My husband complained that I became inadequate with the birth of my child due to mood changes. They were in visits to acquaintances, the wife of one told how she went to walk with a wheelchair after childbirth, hiding a knife in her pocket, because she was afraid that they would be attacked by gastarbayters, and the second - how she arranged a scandal in the nursery, because she decided that she was replaced by a child.
I feel like I’m the queen of balance again.

Tagged: lambersexual
Is this the new type of cheese? O_O

Parents who want to raise their children themselves
You just can’t imagine all these joys and the amount of work.
You will have enough for a maximum of a week.
Then the child will grow like a weed grass, or it will stumble on the grandmother.

XX: Tell me, what else would you like to read like this, what did you read?
yyy: the jazz harmony textbook of Chugunov, no longer read anything...
xxx: well enough) has figured out in jazz harmony - you will understand at least in quantum mechanics)
YYY: After that I started programming.

I understand the female logic.
You are betraying me!
and no.
You might have confessed if you betrayed me. You are not confessing now! Everything goes well!!! to

I went to Ikea with my husband at night. Driving 10 to 15 minutes. Looking at the clock, I see that we are already 20 minutes on the free road.
Have we gone through our turn?
Husband, with a smile jokes - Aha, we passed.
It changes in the face in two minutes.
And indeed, we passed...

to this:

I got a little bit of the stupidity of the question: a man with a diploma from one of the top universities of our vast one asks such a question, did he live up to 25 years and not learn to read the names of the laws.

I worked in a television company. A series of radio guides were announced. I read a few short news. One of the applicants was seriously reading about some samey. I must admit, I didn’t know for a long time what Samei was. Until I realized - so he reads the abbreviation of the media.