and Taxi.

The most popular question I am asked today is: Did I swim in the baptism?

I go to the residential house on order. Near the entrance there are three men slightly standing - two with suitcases to me, one accompanying me. Sit down and go.

The first man:

Did you swim last night?

I am :

and no.

And that so.

It did not work somehow.

The real Siberian had to swim.

Did you swim?

Of course the baptism.

Where did you swim?

So far from here.

The second man:

“Hey, you listen to it, we just came from Thailand.

The first man:

So we bathed.

I had one employee, although in the sense it was, it is now, only in the next decree. And she has a son, well, for example, let Jura be. The boy was not very intelligent by age - he read, counted years from four, played chess, all kinds of chess. Well, as it goes, smart in one, but with some weirdness in the other.



I will not list all the strange things, but with one strange thing was a funny case. The strange thing is this - the child from the moment of obtaining the speech persistently does not want to call his mother mom, dad dad dad, grandmother grandmother. He calls all his nearest mother-in-law by name - Yulia, Sasha, etc. At two it was funny, and then, at five, when he was tried to gently explain that with the older mother-in-law it would be more respectable, the baby refused to call them differently. Well, if mom and dad people are still young - for Yulia and Sasha will come together, then eighty-year-old grandmother Natashka (just Natashka) somehow sounded not "Komilfo".



His mother, my employee, told her colleagues in my department about this, and when she brought her son to work with her, everyone wanted to teach him the mind. As usual, most wanted to raise the boy to the old girls, who have no children, but they are the best at raising the latter. And then one such “mamma” decided to raise a boy. The baby, appearing in our department, immediately sat behind a free computer and began to master the "chicken" without noticing anyone around. "Mamma" with the maximum of complacency on the face sat down to Yuri and began a conversation.

M is a mummy, Yu is a jury.



Hello to you, Yuri!

and UGU.

M: What are you doing?

Y: They are busy.

Listen, what a fashion shirt you have!

and UGU.

M: Who bought it for you?

Yulia (with my mother in mind)

Why do you call your mother Yulia? (“Mamma” prepared to read notes)

J: Not my question! My mother called it so when I was a child.

He said he cut. Mommy’s all the questions disappeared too.

I went to the store to shop for the company. The operation was commanded by the head of the department. It looks like a Jew. By nature they are.

I picked 3 trucks. Go to the box. In front of it, the grandmother, taking a baton of bread and a bag of milk, lacks 4 rubles. The check is not closed until there is no money. The chief in such a clever voice says to the cashier, "Let me pay."

Add to the purchase of all 3 trucks, pay. Added a chocolate to Grandma.

Here we all fooled. It is clear that 4 rubles could be spent to save time in line. But generosity is not inherent in him. It turns out. This clever snake did all the purchases at a retirement discount. More than 500 rubles.

I have a small coffee. The director himself, the subordinate. The client comes, the girl. I said good morning, asked what coffee she would like to drink, and so on. Standard, in general, phrases, but I say immediately I am really pleased with each customer and politeness is not limited. I fulfilled her order, she calculated, I said goodbye to her, wishing her a good day. The girl turned around and looked badly at me and asked, "What are you so polite?"I honestly even cried out. She, all with the same look, shrugged, repeating after me "parents raised" and went out knocking the door.

It was in cleaning. I put on trousers with a big fat spot. I came to pick up - the spot on the spot.

I am - what is this?(referring to the spot)

Employee, and so was it.

I thought a lot...

Money is lacking for everyone. One for a new boat and the other for new shoes.

As an artist, do you know how to paint?

Twenty years of life were devoted to construction. Something they have learned, something they have learned, something they have seen. But, having built a house and decided that there should be a fireplace in it, it became clear: this is not something we can do ourselves. I need a master.
I don’t remember where we took it from, who suggested or led to it, I remember when we met a little man with a small bag at the station coming from somewhere in the area. Nothing is! The main thing is that he has gold hands.

We came to our house, showed the foundation for the future structure, explained that we want a corner fireplace. In winter, sit next to it, so that the shells in it burn. The man wiped his hands, ran, said that inspiration came to him during work, so he did not draw the project in advance, and the material was calculated with the stock.

Ok to Ok. They went and bought with him what he pointed with his finger. After leaving the Master in the house and giving him the rest of the necessary tools (I will remind him, he had only a small bag, and in it - a kind of child hammer and the same size of a hammer) - we left. The soul warmed several things at once: first, finally, the matter moved from a dead point. There will be a second surprise! We never knew what the fireplace would look like. The master admitted that he could not paint, but added from himself:
Look at you.

Two days later, a call from the Master asked to buy a brick. Just as much as they took. You said you took the stock. We decided not to buy, to come to see the contours.

We enter the veranda. The man begins to roast the horse. I really stumbled. And I regret, I cried. I will try to describe what I saw.
The building was really cornery. In the real sense of the word. A straight line from the wall to the wall, this is a huge triangle. Or a tetrahedron. I don’t know how to call it. The front line, the rear ends in the corner.But just the adjacent to the walls were with a surprise.They usually say: like a bull squeezed - but I think the bull would have been smoother. The horizontals were delighted. They resembled a sea wave.The doors of the fireplace, inserted curved, seemed to mock. The seams between the bricks, then with the thickness of the finger, then with the hair, distracted attention, but did not add beauty.

The husband, rushing away, asked the Master, who seemed to have decreased in size:
Have you seen The Wolf in the Thirty Kingdoms as a child? Do you put a stove here from there? Understand it until I find you.
I watched here too. The similarity was undoubtedly, only in the multiplex the stove was good. And it crushed when the wool was drowned in it by a wolf, and our wool was like that.
Do you think it’s all over? You are wrong.

In order not to repeat the mistakes anymore, I found on the Internet the project of my future fireplace. Again the master. Here the aviator comes to help. And we, taught by bitter experience, arrange casting.

The first answered and the Master arrived at Pradyka. Suddenly, but the plus added to him. But we could start missing ourselves right away. Because the Master got an album with photographs of marble fireplaces and began to fill the names of famous people to whom he built these fireplaces. Our brick he removed, my internet project rejected, and said that since we do not pull on the marble, he will roll out a concrete fireplace for us. I did not turn away from the first surprise, to imagine a concrete structure on the veranda my head refused, so leaving my head like a bulldozer, promised to think about it.

The next Master came to us on foot, in broken shoes, with an umbrella over his head – it was raining. He did not have his ideas, because he, as it turned out in the process of conversation, is a stone craftsman, and once my project is scheduled and orderly, and he will do everything in less than a week. At the end of his speech he added that you can remove ten percent of the amount you expect – and he agrees. His eyes were on his forehead, because he hadn’t asked for the amount. In his view, it was an offer that could not be rejected. But we refused.

And finally he appeared. In an ordinary car. Looking at a bunch of brick, he thoughtfully counted it, and even told us the mark of brick. As I found out later, I was not mistaken. Check if the foundation for the fireplace is properly made, if there is a section from the walls. I did not neglect my internet project, but said that it will work out.The price called not big, but also not small. The clay on which he laid the bricks, carried every day from his station (lived somewhere under the Hot Key).
And yes, the promise was kept, the fireplace finished. I made another small cottage in it. in a gift. Small but pleasant. He only asked us to open the door.
All I wrote. I will go to the fireplace and remember Victor again with a good word. The master who put together the fireplace that I like, and it works( does not smoke, burns in any weather, and pleasantly shakes corners). One thing, I never knew if Victor could paint.

The cocktail of Mary.
Drink vodka with tomatoes.

From an interview with baghunter Artem Moskovsky, who found bugs on Steam



Question: If you had a hacking/baghunter training program right now, what subjects would there be?



The answer is programming. English - all relevant information in English. Literature – reading reports with X1. and anonymity. Physical culture - in the case of pathen if bad with anonymity. Right - if bad with physical culture.

The Canadian businessman was accused of forging documents proving that the assets he must repay his company’s debt do not belong to him. The scam was revealed quite simply: in documents dating back to 1995, he used Calibri and Cambria – fonts that appeared only in the mid-2000s.

It is unfair. You cannot get into the same water. And on the same grail you can strike as much as the soul wishes.

Memories of Bulgaria

I lie on the beach and don’t touch anyone. Nearby the daughter cries, squeezes heavy sand in the cage, further in the boat, the son builds fortifications. My wife puts her hand behind the bucket. Someone’s toy cheers Chinese sound special effects. The chickens in vain try to repeat the motive.
The mood is philosophical, breakfast is dissolved in the stomach and Kubalibra, taken in honor of the afternoon, is amused. The Beauty. At the edge of the eye I catch a picture that fits perfectly to the inner relaxed mood.
Life is a joke, I know. But the fact that jokes are life, I don’t always believe. But had to.
On the left of me the shore becomes steep - the rise into the city begins. The waves with the thunder spread around the cement wall. It is from this wall that a 5-year-old boy runs a smelly machine. Chinese special effects gradually swallow, crossfeed growing child crying. I crashed so. Right into the wave.
The mother of the child at the same time insults and comforts the baby-adoo. Here it arises - Uncle savior, brother-Slavian, smiles a cute mom, plays a muscle and a beautiful fish flying down. Five meters flying. Almost not lifting the splash, touched the surface of the sea, flooded, lifted the water suspension in the air with a lush gripe, grabbed the subterranean miscarriage, which issued pre-death whispers, and triumphantly sailed to the beach. I swear, all the witnesses of this act saw what was happening in a beautiful rapide and under erotic music. What the views were talking about. The eyes shouted.
He returns the car to the child. My mother finds no words. The child is whispering to his mother. Probably discussing the issue of getting a uncle into a dad.
The mother, listening to the baby, approaches the rescue and loudly, in Russian, asks:
Where is the wheel, right?
As it is customary to write at the end of the stories, I fell my mouth into the sand.

The problem is that for every pensioner we have not a few working people, but a lot of thieves.

Anecdotes are such a spontaneous feedback between power and the people.

One day I carried a girl, I didn't know at all, I walked on the main, and from the secondary, another car crashed and I slowed. She apparently had the driving rights and skills, was very surprised.
Why do you stop, you are at the forefront.
I shrugged my shoulders and said:
"I just thought about what I would drive while the car is in repair and whether your blood will be wiped out of the panel.
She did not ask me any more questions.

- I don't understand why under Stalin the rocketist was engaged in rocketing, and not the losing journalist? And, say, the atomic project was driven by a talented physicist Kurchatov, and not a kid surprise? And the defense minister for some reason was a professional military, not a former builder.
This tyrant was so brave over the country.

Goals for 2019:

1st Become thin and athletic again, as I was before the accident.

2nd Stop calling it an “accident” the way I grew fat and lost shape.

My husband and I are looking for a guy who will play the harmonix while we are having sex. All strangers please do not bother.

My neighbor works in a gun shop. Sometimes he throws me to work. I went to work with my neighbor. On the road we were struck by an alien. The neighbor stumbled and loudly knocked out the open window of the road ham. The foreigner stopped in front of us and three strong men of Caucasian nationality came out of the car, and they came out obviously not to say hello to us. The neighbor was not confused, got out of the car, pulled out the gun and with the bell pulled the lock, the three with their hands rushed to escape.

I: Young man, Sereg, how much have you besieged them.

Neighbor: Yes, my whole life flew before my eyes - it was a mess.

The rest of the road was silent.)

We go to Norway for fishing, the mood is elevated. We pass the north of Sweden, stopped at the gas station to drink coffee, the gas station is quite busy, six people stand in the box office, everyone is decently silent. I took a huge cup of latte in the machine, I am going to arrange in line to pay. Here the glass somehow shakes out, the coffee flies into half the room, well, and unwittingly I get annoyed: -Ssuuk!

I looked at the sides, I think well, they don’t understand Russian. When the cashier screams to me, it is so boldly, through the whole turn: - Don't worry! Heather with him! Get another one for free! There was a guy from Kazakhstan, stumbled, went on. All positive.