Boris: I’m going to be the most equipped person in the studio.
Create an underground laboratory.
Create something genius, a Nobel Prize will be given.
Boris: You know
Boris: Nobel Prize for Scientists
Boris: If I do something brilliant, I will be given a deadline

My wife calls for lunch:
Will you fix the computer at night when you come back?
I: What happened to him?
J.: - I was sent a message to Skype that the computer was hacked and this is a virus, then the link to the photo...
I: And you opened up and seized the virus?
No, but I’ll open it now.

A friend of mine and a friend of mine went to the concert of Arbenina. At some point they realized that they were surrounded exclusively by aunts and exclusively by couples. Later, they realized that they were both a couple.

XXX I got sick with the flu
Is it not a pig?
XXX - We are in Tatarstan, Halal

If you are late home and have not performed your wife's task of buying products, then don't waste time - just find a middle-aged woman or an elderly woman in the supermarket, wait until she leaves her full cart unattended - take her and go to the box office. There will be only reasonably selected products with an ideal price-quality ratio.
YYY: I usually order everything in the innet. Do you want to intercept the session?

I went to bed at 3 p.m. and woke up at 5 p.m. ?
222: Did you not have to smooth your body before leaving?
111: no, I cracked the cocktail before leaving it strained itself)))

XXX: bought for the new year a piece of low-salted coat in a shopping center. Half of the meal was eaten - at night, the door of the refrigerator was opened and the whole piece glowed in a phosphorous color. What is it on the coast of Japan... has anyone encountered it? Reply to!!! to
YYY: Gamma radiation is not visible to the eye... don’t worry, it’s not radiation.

The United States will allocate $50 billion to Sandy victims

Russia demands material aid from victims in Crimea

Who is it that learns about democracy???

The issue of associations.
A few years ago, my friends bought a new car. One day, they had a shutdown. It had to be repaired, but I did not want to, because the car was impressively ripped. All the flat puppets on the pelvis stopped at the lights and asked "how did you get such a clear sound?" A friend had to be very silent and smiling, hiding the true cause.
We went to the village with relatives. Upon returning to the city, the extinguisher was repaired the next morning, immediately.
The secret is the following. As they walked around the village, they were jumped out of every house to meet them. At first, the friends were surprised and could not understand. And then the good grandfather explained to them that with such a sound they were driving the "gentleman" - the most disgusting, stinking and robbed tractor, which pumps the shit out of the septic. People are always looking forward to him with joy.

Enot: I told you that sometimes I’m called Ilyushka because of my name?
Zero: Well, and what then?
This is not the worst! It was just a phallus! I hurt: the nose is placed, the throat hurts - the voice is hellish. I call the adult clinic to see if my card came from the child’s clinic. I say the name, year of birth, month... The headline: “Taak, something is not you... Now I will look at the girls. Are you a girl?

- What culture can we talk about if we have a refresher in the toilet?
Why is he fooled? What did he do to them...? Or are you in another sense?

Please forgive me 8 (
XXX: I will try not to forget anything.
YYY: And untimely to die in the colour of years from overcrowding cash.

The neighbors burned yesterday.
In the elevator, my neighbor and I.
Baby, what did you do?
Well, yes...
First a cat, now a child.
The elevator door opens and goes out.

From the news:
The SCR concluded that the resident of St. Petersburg Kochnev inflicted on himself five strikes with a knife (in the area of the heart), being under the action of narcotic substances.
...expertise confirmed that all five injuries Cochnev could have caused himself...
(And the Daguestans have nothing to do with it.)

This uncomfortable moment when old jokes become news.

Announcement on site:
Where to hire a clown?
In Administration

Archie: Just warn the girl that before I work, it’s okay to get there.
and she knows)
Archie: Okay) and the office fuck you find, let it call or remember by the mouth:
The building on the left side of the road, the right staircase-the second floor-the unsigned bell on the right-will open up a huge frightened botan / a huge ragged bubble / a huge and reluctant wart- ask me.

Are you a man or who?
I am who.
HH: In other words, who is he?
Zzzz: Yeah, who is he?

Now politicians only trust their old childhood photographs.

Strips on the route

A girl enters the road and there are no free seats. She stands up on the front seat, gets the money, pushing her whole body forward and bending, putting it in the driver’s hand. At the same time, the mini jersey rises, showing all present her naked ass in strings.
The reaction of the passengers is different - the men look with interest, one grandmother turns around, pronouncing - "T-fu". 
Everyone is surprised by the guy - he, who has already paid for the trip, gets the money out of his pocket again and says, "Girl, please pass over again."

I’m an adult man and I need this radio-controlled helicopter!