Women’s friends are only men who are unable to be lovers.

A bad hearing.
It was under Soviet power.
For the children of the staff of the institute where I worked, the New Year’s tree was arranged on the street, in the forest.
The winter in that year was real - frosty, so all adults and children were wrapped in hats and shirts.
And here, everything goes as usual. Santa organizes various competitions. And, in the course of these competitions, he says that now let’s let you, children, solve the puzzles. Children start to puzzle mysteries, Santa repeats them loudly.
It needs to be explained that some effort is required from Santa Claus - to unravel what the child said is quite difficult, because, in addition to the quiet child's voices, Santa Claus is still disturbed by a beard and a hat.
However, the case is very boycotted. Santa has clearly entered the railroad.
Then comes the small boy.
What is your name, boy? Asked by Santa.
The boy barely hears his name. I don't remember what, let me say.
and wowa.
Well, Wolf, tell me your mystery.
The boy is eating something.
Santa Claus, in a loud voice, - "Here is the Wolfock asks - Who is on Mom's feet up?". There is an uncomfortable pause in the air.
The adults start looking. Santa finally realizes that something is wrong. But since it is necessary to turn out somehow, he cautiously, in half a voice, asks the boy: "Well, who is this?“”
A fly, he answered.
Santa Claus, relieved, loudly – “This is, children, a fly!”
And then, again, he turns to the boy, "Why is she at mother?"
The boy, already with a pretty loud voice - "Not on mommy, but over us!"

At the transmission “the smartest” to the question – “carrots, onions, potatoes, lexus, what is extra?” – five-year-old Izya replied “carrots, onions, potatoes.”

I read the news in the social media. The network:

“Drunk idiots, why are you crawling right under my window?

The commentary:
YYY: I am sorry.

News from Rambler:
"... On Sunday the air warms to minus 40..."
It is so hot, bl.

XXX: The grandmother told: in the village, the girls guessed the valleys. One hit a valley in a passing horse and killed her. She was married to the owner of the horse so that she could work for her.

At what temperature does port wine freeze?
Q: Did you leave Portwine somewhere?! to

The buyer enters the shop (P):
Q: Give the Baltic 0, but I have eight rubles.(It is 41 p.
I: Sorry, I cannot
Q: Well then give the Baltic 9 (worth 33p)

XXX: What is compassion?
Yyy: Tom is feeling great.

It all started with a wedding. I wore the ring not on that finger, not on that hand, not that girl.

The cat came and sat in front of the monitor, the necklace is not visible. I also closed her hand. I got angry and left something.

A new way of guessing the 21st century: throwing the naked uggy out of the house! Without them, you will find your narrowing fast :D

My father gave me a Rolex clock. A true Swedish timetable and with an autopilot. Just enough to shock.
One on the right hand.
and?
The eternal engine.

xxx: I am sweet here
YYY: If this is a call to me, then you have forgotten the tail. If not, then I hope there are no bees near you.

One of us bought an electronic cigarette. for two days smoked her, featured the boss, precocious, that you can stretch in the workplace. I noticed something wrong in the cigarette. He washed it, cleaned it, began to steam and realized that he confused the bubbles. Two days of smoking!! to

You have to work, get married, have children and die at retirement.
I forgot the tree.
You have to work, get married, have children and die on a tree.

A question of female logic.

Mom calls me to the kitchen to eat soup and asks if I can put me meat. To what I answer no, don’t have to! I don’t like this chicken cooked.
I sit down at the table and see in my plate right in the middle a decent piece of chicken.
Mom, what is it?
“Well, you said I didn’t need meat and I put you a smaller piece.

O_O

xxx: When viewing videos, the sound is delayed.
What is the problem?
The speed of light is faster than the speed of sound, so it should be.

Anyone, explain who this Valera is and why his time has come?

The xxx:
This is a question for you: in the firm where you constantly buy equipment, there is a possibility to make checks for an amount greater than the value, but not to indicate some equipment in the merchandise?
YYYY :
mm
YYYY :
It is too long you wrote the word "square"