Shakherezada said: “Men love attentive, caring, loving and kind women. This is the real reason for polygamy.

The KPI. The Military Department.
Problems, as usual, need to be solved. My husband and I go to the teaching room. We see that our curator – Lieutenant Colonel explains something to the young lieutenant, we decide to wait a little, we listen. Lieutenant Lieutenant Colonel:
Are you really stupid? It is simple! See: 1/2 (one second) + 1/2 (one second) + 1/2 (one second) = 3/6 (three sixths). Reduce by... which is approximately 1/2 (one second). I understood?! to
We stood at the door of the teacher’s office.

In vain, I wished that we would not transfer money.

The first thing that should come to the mind of a terrorist is a bullet with a shifted center of gravity.

As a child, I was very often sick, and doctors were constantly prescribing antibiotics. I was crazy about the injections, and to reassure me, my dad convinced me that he could do the injections "without a needle." Before every injection, I started to say, “Just without a needle, daddy!” - and he always first showed me a syringe without a needle, I turned around, and he injected me, everyone was happy.
Only recently I realized what an exaggeration it was! But the injections Dad did not hurt at all, as if it was true without a needle...

“I do not want!” A beautiful phrase in its laconicity. I do not understand why it ceased to be perceived as a weighty argument and it is necessary to clarify the reasons, the motives, attach a five-page essay with an explanation.

XXX: I have a diploma. I don’t usually drink, but there are 2 cocktails. I realized it was enough and I went home (yes, in vain). I get to the final electric bus, I need to climb the bridge. There are a lot of people, and a little muddy in the head. And I’m standing, thinking, “Interesting, can a bridge collapse from so many people?” A man approaches me with a sting: “Girl, the bridge can fall. Right, let’s better stand, let’s wait for people to pass.”

Xxx: Coming late, snowfall of incredible strength. Parking, and next to Nissan, the driver's window is fully open. The seat is already full. I call GIBDD - they don't have a phone in the base. In the car there is a blanket, I cover the seat when I drive the dog. Somehow hanged the window, fixed, all this time throwing, snowfall and wind. He wrote a note with a phone number and asked to return the cover. They called on the track in the morning, thanked, said, will bring the cover. Well, all, no cover, the pipe was not taken) It was not unfortunate to cover, another is now the dog's ceiling, but what was the difficulty of returning - I don't understand.



Yyy: Well, they crashed to death on the track. You thought wrong.

The high school student complains:

I don’t like physics, the teacher is mocking us.

How does she mock?

She runs six rounds, and she’s worth it. Why is she not running with us? He loves to fool!

I approach the street bar with vegetables and fruits, I look at the watermelon on the "vitrine" at the entrance. Next to it stands a man - a dark, like a thick body. I cook to a man, showing the chosen peanut. He looks at me and asks, “Well?”

I knock on the watermelon, judging by the sound good, and affirmatively whisper in response. The man cleverly grabs the watermelon, puts on the weights. We silently look at a friend.

He surrendered first, “Will we not weigh?”

“We will,” I answer.

We continue to look at each other.

After a moment it comes to us that we are both buyers 🤦‍♀️

Judging by the anecdotes, the "Russian way" is a road paved with robbers.

...I came to Karma with Ibolit. Yes, no names, no names in us, bloggers, only clicks are bad. Just like the Siu Indians. Ibolite, in particular, is due to Ibolite, which has been treating animals for several decades. When he sat next to the refrigerator and began to exchange his life experience for my pasta, I wanted to wipe my eyes - not Darrell's own person in my kitchen turns a second plate. In particular, he told about the poppy, the dream of his life. Very big and evil, like love for a goat.
He has been dreaming of a puppy for many years. And one day he was invited to his country villa by some oligarch, a servant of the people, to treat a sick skunk. There was a cage in the vast golden spaces of the villa. And in her, on her bedroom, she was drunk, a swallow, a green dream. Having noticed Abolit’s passionate gaze towards the poppy, the oligarch generously shrugged his hand:
Do you like? Take it.
At home, it was discovered that the poppy who grew up in the atmosphere of luxury had the nature of the wardalaq and the inclination of the cannibal. Maybe the former owner knows him. He was constantly trying to get stuck in Ibolit’s hand. And quite soon he succeeded. The blood immediately flowed through the river. The painting resembled the culmination of the gladiator battle. The butterfly, without pressing the clove, watched the enemy carefully. Ibolit, who in his century saw more beasts than I saw books, did not take his hand away. As he coldly explained, washing the pasta:
Then the pope would think he won and I lost.
And only when the aggressor began to swallow blood, he spit out his hand, and with apparent resentment.
After this battle of characters, the descendant of the pterodactiles recognized Aybolit as the master. But only him. All guests were told to stay away from the bird.
But one day a fun semi-Georgian company collapsed with a visit. They drank a lot, sang a lot and had a great time. Ibolithus, who did not lose his vigil, warned:
Do not put your hands on a poppy.
Guests looked at the brutal bird with interest, especially one lady. She whispered and from time to time cuddly stated to the poppy:
In Georgia, we would have made you savi! The Saints!
The spider was hardly silent, although under normal circumstances he was quite conversational. As it turned out, he waited.
At some point, the lady did not resist and broke the ban.
There was a ruthless slaughter.
There was a lot of blood.
A few months later, the same company came together again. The fun Georgian to the poppy no longer sat down. On the contrary, he was clearly resurrected. He insisted Hoh. He turned his head to the side and looked at the guest with one eye. Everything jumped out with an increasing amplitude. I turned to the bottom and looked. He returned to the original position and moved a stepping step down the roof. He approached the woman as closely as he could and told her:
The Saints?

by Greenbat

Religion is a smart business idea. You sell an invisible product, and if it does not work, you can always blame the customer.

It's good when a girl has a beautiful pop, but it's bad when it's the only thing she's great about.

I came to the market for a jacket, winter is near.
Well, I chose, I negotiated, I bought, the seller asks what else I need, I say jeans. The jacket seller took me to a jeans seller and told him I needed jeans at a very good price.
I picked the jeans and asked the seller, how much?
Five thousand rubles for you, brothers.
I - you fell from the oak, what five, a half!
PD - 3500, the last price, for you. This is Armani!
I would have been Montana or Wrangler, I would have bought.
And I went to another place, well, I understand that the price of jeans includes the share of the jacket seller, but if they gave the jeans for 2,500, I would buy, but the PD stood up.
I bought the jeans somewhere else.
And on the exit I met a jacket seller, he asked me if I bought jeans from his friend, I said I bought, great jeans your friend found me, and for just seven thousand!

Let them understand each other now. I am ugly.

Dear Facebook, stop offering me people I may know. I know them. I do not like them.

About the stupidity of the heroes of horror films has been said a lot.

But one case in my life made me think about how real people would behave in such a situation.

I worked in a factory and, among other things, I needed to remove the size of one room in one of the workshops. There were no actual plans for this building, everything was constantly rebuilt, and the 2nd floor, on which this room was, was generally semi-accidental.

I come there, I open the door (a massive one, it still has a locking mechanism is an armature that descends down into a hole in the floor to open or close, you need to first turn the pen of this armature to the side, and then raise it).

In this room, as in the whole floor, there is semi-darkness (there is rarely anyone walking, the semi-accidental floor). I go in, the door under my weight closes behind me, but not to the end. I approach her, pushing a little, and she doesn’t open! Pressed stronger and opened. It turned out that this armaturin fell down and almost went into a hole in the floor. A little more and I would be locked up there. The following factor would be involved. In this room, t. It is in an old building and closed by a massive iron door, there is no connection at all!

After supporting the door with bricks, I made the necessary measurements, painted the chart of the room, to then reflect it in the program.

Suddenly, I heard a loud sound from the depths of the corridor, as if something massive was hitting the floor, the vibration felt very well. Then these sounds began to become louder, as if it was something beginning to approach, it was like the steps of something enormous.

I was, on the one hand, not on my own, on the other hand, wildly interested in what it was. I walked out into the hallway and walked toward those sounds. It was almost dark in the hallway, only 30 meters in front of the light. At the same time, there were occasional holes in the floor that had to be looked at.

I walked up to those sounds and suddenly I thought I was acting like a dumb blonde from a horror movie. But I told myself it was real life, and I went on to find the source of the terrible sounds.

A minute later, after a few turns of the corridor, I reached some machine compartment, from where these sounds were delivered. And they stopped literally 5 seconds after I got there.

My curiosity was satisfied, I saw no supernatural things there.

I went back to the hallway and went out to the ordinary office.

But since then, I know that there is a dumb blonde inside of me who for some reason climbs into a dark and terrible basement instead of running to the police.

xxx: It doesn't matter how many times you made 100% on investments, if then once it came out -100%

I walked in the woods and gathered mushrooms. Suddenly I hear a wild cry: “Look, he’s out, he’s out!There are five healthy men running to me. It’s hard to say exactly what I thought, but I was very scared, let’s run away. They followed me with cries: “Men!!! Stand up man!” have caught. The fastest jumped from behind, fell to the ground and, breathing hard, said, “Hey, man, what are you. Help us out, we are lost. We will give you a beer.” The second runs and on the way already gets a beer bottle from the bag. Punched them and brought them out. They are good guys.)

A person who is tormented by emptiness is ready to watch any boring and monotonous work with pleasure.