I have an Asian neighbor. Vietnamese or Thai, I don’t know. She has long stressed me with her favorite T-shirt "I love cats. They taste like chiken". For a month she had been in her. Today she finally wore another shirt: "I love humans. They taste like pork". It makes me even more stressful now. [...]

If a woman reveals to you the soul, then there is hope to reach the body.

Today I’m sitting behind the compound... A spider came out of an old plastic computer column, looked at the sides and went back into the column... The first thought was Dr. Webb... I checked the updates.

She said no: 5 seconds proud of herself, 6 hours crying, 2 days drinking.

Impressions of Peter

Fuck, what a shit, what a cold, fuck! Has Zebra not been painted? Where to go fucking? Where are the lights? Fucking tokens on the subway, fucking sweat where to put them! Rain is fucking dull. Parade and bleaching. Porebriki and Shaverma. Pushes are not shit pushes, but punches, bleat! The smell of houses in the basement. Not there turned, all fucking, all as extinct! There are no shops, no shit. The bridges are divided. What should I do at 2 p.m. at night? Fuck the wind fucking. The escalator in the subway fucking 80 meters deep, stand the fox for 5 minutes and wait for it to get to the top.

I really liked it overall.

10.10.2011 14:01:23, Andor
Say that if you take me to work with you, it will be fun and scary for them.

10.10.2011 14:01:33, casper
Ohha

10.10.2011 14:01:40, casper
You will go crazy here.

10.10.2011 14:01:50, casper
There are 50 people working here.

10.10.2011 14:04:06, Andor
Lovely people in the decree, the rest will be fired.

10.10.2011 14:05:06, casper
You know how to solve questions.)

There is no water, I call the emergency, the man answers.
This is the address, there is no water.
A minute... and now?
I hear the noise of water in the bathroom.
Oh how did he do it?? to

Interview with the student after the group trip:
Q: Alexey, didn’t you cut me off yesterday?
Q: When did you leave the secondary road?
P: Yes, that is exactly how it is.
C: No, not to me.

“It’s better not to talk to me in the morning... I’m usually angry.
Oh yeah I remember)
I went for a walk with my dog this morning. I come out of the entrance, and the aunt runs, screams do not close the door and runs. And the dog, of course, started laughing... I wanted to tell the dog not to laugh, and I gave it so loudly to the whole courtyard: “Well, don’t run!”" the aunt was confused... well she said, I won’t... and went on foot... that it was uncomfortable...
I would be confused too.)

Sometimes it seems that different people came from different animals.
Most of them are still from monkeys, but they have not developed much.
XHHH: and the journey there are even descendants of the outcast 0_o

Pen_guin: Yesterday was a joke. Near my work for a long time have been two wholesale calls, interrupting each other. It went very well:
Fresh tasty homemade cakes with cheese, maca, strawberry...
...of cockroaches, mole, ants!

xxx: "It is impossible" said the pride. "It is risky" said experience. "It’s useless" said the brain. "Take a try" – the heart whispered.
yyy: "Behold that it just happened!?" - screamed the anus a few minutes later

I am in a white dress and fat.
I go to the church to the altar.
My father shouted in my back:
Don’t shame your family!

XX: I am rarely asked questions at work that can confuse me. Planning with "..." holding a joint business dinner, I consult with their manager. The girl in the process of the conversation asks me the question: "Sorry, another clarification on the invited participants - will there be Gojis among them? This is a very important moment".
XHH: Figase, I think what an unexpected approach, maybe even the menu will have to check on cosherity?
xxx: It turned out to be their slang designation of State Organizations - GO, in multiple sounds as "goy"))

Yesterday I travelled 500 kilometers on deep Russian roads - mostly in the Vladimir region. An unforgettable, I must say, experience. The car doesn’t talk to me.

Mastery questionnaire on the dating site with brilliant answers to stupid questions:

Your Creed :
My own of course. Whose other?

What is the greatest happiness for you:
The Nirvana? Is that the correct answer?

The most surprising discovery:
The discovery of America in 1492. It is surprising. The most striking thing about this discovery is that the Indians discovered America much earlier, but this is not considered.

xxx: I now call a client who owes money for the work done and was missing for two months, not even taking the tube. I called. And he says, “It’s not Alexander, I killed him and ate him!” and threw the phone. I am in shock.

This is such a modern type of trolling: to write an angry phrase about spelling/printing and make a print in it?

XXX: What are you doing? Let us tolerate!
Shit, I am from above.

Oh yeah, listen to me! I have a question to you. The battery in the mouse is broken, what to do?

Fuck to Fuck!

Fuck the mouse?