On the net found:
The phrase from the advertisement: "If children cough - they will help a blue mouse!". I really want to answer: "If you do advertising - do not smoke marijuana!"

We fight with the child. Of course I give up. But in the end I win. An annoyed man goes to the kitchen to his father and says, "I want to be as strong as my mom - electricity without breastfeeding."

You are drying in your throat. Hands are not. You start to feel sitting. Your limbs refuse to obey you. And only then you realize that the password that you changed literally yesterday, you entered in Cyrillic...

How many therapists have a gigabit?
How much is one song?
One song is eight beers.

Go after the club at 5-6 o'clock in the morning home, here I will be stumbled by a flat girlfriend 4 pieces, everything as appropriate: Beer, seeds, music from mobile and this dialogue occurs:
Young man, where are you in such a hurry?
I: Home
Do you want to make a company with beautiful girls?
I: I want
They: So where are you going? You said what you want!
I'm so beautiful and I'm going to look for it

I: I went to pull my eyebrows.
Man: Can I see?
I : No
And to listen?

The girls turned and turned but continued to watch porn.

With a smart woman you can talk about anything, and with a beautiful, all this, it is nice to do.

The journalistic seminar in RUDN. In front of the future sharks and shackles of feathers pushes the talk of our television celebrity. It is time for questions. A girl stands up from the front row and asks:
Why is there no freedom of speech in Russia?
The celebrity, having fixed the glasses, gives the answer that I still think is the best:
Imagine thieves intending to rob the house. You think they will be
Invite the press?

In his youth, the President did not take into account the basic rule of our bureaucracy: first we turn on heating, and only then we dismiss the mayor, and not vice versa.

We drank with a friend photographer, drank decently, even very much. We walk on the street, he slides, falls, lies...
He looks somewhere and gives
Something has broken the horizon.

<@igorian_kun> "Decanate of the MFA Faculty congratulates debtors on the start of the autumn call"

<@igorian_kun> this kind of bullying appeared yesterday at the doors of the dean

The biological award was awarded by a group of Chinese and British zoologists. They have proven that flying mice have oral sex.(Premium Prize of the Year 2010!)

Nowadays, cats can only cut half of one egg.

Now our cat has a new pursuit - half a puppy.

We are ahead of the entire planet!
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

In the XC
Who is lying, who is lying again?
Fuck, it’s easy erotic.

Strengthening the Copyright Law:
Where the country is going... Soon it will just break up...
You can always crack. You will just have to pay the deductions to the Russian Pearl Union.

I work in a phone store. A aunt recently came to us, waited for a long time and finally approached me and asked, "Do you have Nothing?" I say: "No, we are trading on phones." She answers me: "So I need the threads to ask for the phone". In a state close to hysteria, I explain that the phone is not threaded. She didn't seem to believe me and, leaving, said: "That's how I knew that there was no bullshit, even no phone lines."

(4:38:19 PM) xxx: constantly cracking pockets on pants :-) this is a disadvantage
(4:38:48 PM) yyy: depending on why they break. It may be worth it 8-)

What color are her eyes?
I didn’t remember the color of her eyes. I saw in them something more than just color. The color does not tell about the soul of a person and what feelings inside. Her eyes just talked about what her lips were silent about.
I just asked what color her eyes were.