bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 76 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №54496
 06.10.2011
Note to children: a condom thrown into a dad’s pocket distracts parents from stupid questions about school.
Short ©

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №54495
 06.10.2011
5 October 2011. I go on the bus. The interruption. The driver says:
"Next stop on December 5" There is no interruption!

[ + 50 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №54494
 06.10.2011
The head of Chechnya said, responding to the question of the “Russian News Service” about the sources of funding. “Allah gives. I do not know. The money comes from somewhere,” Kadyrov said.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №54493
 06.10.2011
[4:53:07 PM] Quiet ##: Fuck the joke! The commission came to me. The special services were looking for the secret Wardaw files! It is just fatigue! The word search engine in the file name: secret information, sell information, secret... almost nothing was found!

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №54492
 06.10.2011
I work as a printer. The man ordered a card. He works as a pathologist. Long thought...

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №54491
 06.10.2011
by Olga (12:33)
Listen, how do you treat disorders? Why is the pain?
Liked ‎(12:34):
The fuck knows him. I prefer to believe that very small gnomes run through your brain and smooth where it hurts.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №54490
 06.10.2011
Today I had such a strange dream.
XXX: I run inside a burning building. I look at the window, I took it and jumped out. I fly and see that the height is nine floors. He fell to the ground but did not wake up and a page of the Internet and some fields to fill out came out in front of his eyes.
YYY: In order to get to heaven, you must first check out their website.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №54489
 06.10.2011
XXX: I am with you, plebees!
YYY: Doctor, Caesar needs to increase the dose of medicine again ;D

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №54488
 06.10.2011
News on Mail.ru:
by Edward Rossell (Prim. Former Governor of Sverdlovsk. I know there is corruption.)
and suddenly))

[ + 50 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №54487
 06.10.2011
[16:39:03] Allochka: Mom asks "As it turns out, we have a lot of chances. There's no chance - it's when you're gay in Ivanovo.."

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №54486
 06.10.2011
Judicial officers arrested in the house of the unemployed resident of Stavropol, who owed 15 thousand. rubles to the state budget, household appliances and hammer, reports the press service of the UFSSP of Russia on the edge. The court ordered the arrest of the debtor’s existing property: two TVs, a DVD player and a pet – a hammer. The estimated small rodent was 100 rubles." (debt - 15 thousand rubles.)

And the cockroaches! Are the tarakans arrested???? to

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №54485
 06.10.2011
[14:49:50] <Lost> we have document here
[14:49:57] <Lost> with a terrible name
[14:50:02] <Lost> The Mortgage of the Cock.

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №54484
 06.10.2011
xxx:Today I came out of the El Techa couple and said that I had a dead Hoff.
I broke in with tears in my eyes and gave out my hand, she asked who was the goff, but I was too sad,
to speak
She let go)

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №54483
 06.10.2011
Excerpt from the article on masturbation from the newspaper Metro... I wave xDDDD
According to statistics, 5% of women trick their Bermuda Triangle every day.

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №54482
 06.10.2011
Qandrat: then, the news
Fusekey: Let me know!
Qandrat: Microsoft bought Skype for $8.5 billion.
Fusekey: Ooh tree.. and I downloaded O_o for free

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №54481
 06.10.2011
All people make others happy, only some by their presence, others by their absence.
Ogoniok

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №54480
 06.10.2011
It shook!

Tax checks for accounting are like a tsunami for Japan. In the sense, everyone knows that someday inevitably will happen, but every time they are not ready for the fact that it is happening "directly". Especially when in accounting such a mess, which had to be in one cute printing firm, where I had to work for a while. No, the taxes were paid properly, although there was a "black" accounting — but very little. within permissible limits.
The barracks were literal. Half of the documents were dispatched in the wrong folders - for example, in advance reports, you could easily find a payment for paper, and a salary note, and instructions for the vacuum cleaner. Approximately one-third of the papers in general are rolled into rolls and sprinkled over different cracks. And where did the others go - nobody knows at all: but how would you know if no one has ever worked there for more than six months?
And here are the taxpayers and demand the immediate "compliance".
Avril is terrible.
Accounting is a tiny room, in which some building oligofrened radiators, which in turn the gym to heat, and therefore the window is constantly open even in the frost. There is a printer under the window. And three tables, a closet with a broken door, a prehistoric safe, a bunch of shelves and three accountants are pressed into the ten-square room, charged with all this mess and going to resign to the damn mother. Between the tables there is a passage in which a fat man will get stuck like Winnie the Pooh in a rabbit’s hole. I think the disposition is clear.
The taxpayers were placed in the “conference room” – a good room for regular corporate drunkenness. And they came to us every fifteen minutes with new demands – to rework, to schedule, to find, and so on.
And here are the three "tax bodies" in this passage at once - they want something again. This “something” needs to be printed. The printer does not want to print - the cartridge has long been working on the last "puke", Svetka depicts a ragged activity, which is said to be all, the headbuck helps with advice:
The light, and you shock him.
The lighthouse gets the cartridge and begins to mutate it with all her young enthusiasm. Demonstrate your diligence and diligence. Cartridge says:
“Hey!” and... at this moment the entrance door opens!!! What happens if a window is opened, the door to the office is opened and the entrance is opened? It is right, through.
The remains of the toner with a black slide (directly like in "Lost") are carried through the passage and impressed in the mouths of taxpayers!
For those who suddenly don’t know – take some laser printing and try to wash THIS. Who is lazy, I will say - with the usual means (water, soap, Domestos, alcohol, etc.) P is will not succeed.
The paper disappears rather than the image.
And we have the “image” of three black taxpayers! Characteristically, in
We didn’t get a gram!
Oh yes, it shook me! Summary of the head.

The taxpayers are very lucky that the company is engaged in polygraphy and printing. With “special means.” Or would doolgo wear with black rodents in search of "what to wash."
The examination was completed on the same day. Just waving on us with the hand and writing out some foolish warning about the mess in the documentation...

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №54479
 06.10.2011
I watch "In the World of Animals": on the shore, on the rocks, the fatty bodies of fed pofigistic individuals, who shout disorderly and mock their heads, dumb looking at the figure of the leader, have collapsed in masses. I switch to another channel - the same: the State Duma meeting.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №54478
 06.10.2011
Sanatio is in the network
Ristardhon: The Pest!
Sanatio is out of the network
Ristardhon: One shot – one kill

[ + 56 - ] [16 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №54477
 06.10.2011
Department of Public Organizations:

When entering the public service, each candidate must pass the test.

Sitting next to the city phone. We go to the next room and start calling him.

If you sit out for 15 minutes and do not understand the phone - we take to work!

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