Who said that the sport for real men is hockey?
Sports for real men are cities.
Yyy: Is it because in towns the most important thing is to throw the rod?

In Pance, one-pass guillotines were released, completely excluding the possibility of AIDS infection.

Albert: Do you not go to sleep?? to
Arsenic: intergalactic ship bl* building hd
Albert: hahaha=)))) on the** I? decided to push and earn start-up capital for the business?? = )
No, I decided to go home :)
Albert: O_o

A friend (D) a couple of days walked, problems in life accumulated. At work, he has men aged 50 years - his fathers are suitable. One noticed and decided to ask what was going on:
M: What happened to you? Problems of some sort?
D: Yes, there is a little.
M: Don’t worry, everything will be okay. Most importantly, don’t drink too much.
A friend became curious - how much is it? Two bottles? Three?
D: How much is it?
M: Well...for me it’s a lot of 6 days, and von Petrovich sits – he can do it for 2 weeks.

x3m: Ah Yura, Yura... You forgot the parade.

Remember that joke?

You have entered my personal page protected by copyright laws. The content of this page has been downloaded by your Internet browser and saved (cache) on the disk of your computer without my permission. You violated my copyright. Your IP address is registered in the system log of the server, you will be sued in court.
In order to resolve the dispute extrajudicially, I propose that you, within seven days from now on, transfer a sum of 100 Euros to my account.

All of you guys. Now it is true. Thanks to Members.

We don’t have water :(
I wanted to get rid of it.
We have water, come and clean up :)

You are lucky that I love you. I would kill the naked!

The best treatment for attacks of patriotism is a call to the army.

Commentary from the Hubble on the Book of Pi (the whole book is 10 000 000 numbers after the fifth):
The topic of the surroundings is not disclosed!

and Chicago!
This is my hobby and do you know how to cook?
Kripack
I know how to cook raw eggs, raw pasta, raw peelings, burned peelings, burning pot I cook very well.

iPhone 4 crash test on MacBook:
But 10 seconds in the beer made the device's touch screen unusable, although after drying the displays on the display remained - and the sensor was restored. In addition, the phone responded to the beer with a message that this “accessory” was not optimized for the iPhone 4.

There will soon be a beer optimized for the iPhone, probably.

Talking to a girlfriend... Her boyfriend is named Artem
Sasha: I have a problem. I want a boy and that’s not Arthem.
I: So what is the problem?
That boy is you.
I: So what is the problem!? to

The xxx:
If you suddenly embrace the mosquitoes – no problem.
Eat a leaf of belladonna. Anthropin in it is an effective antidote to muscarin - the alkaloid of muchomor. Atropine blocks those receptors in the body, the excitation of which determines the action of muscarine.
And the proportions? How many leaves of belladonna are needed per kilogram of mushrooms?
Damn, I don’t know, you eat slowly until it gets easier.

This happened recently to my friend.
We work as installers in a well-known Internet company.
Well, as it happens, my friend tightly tried to go to the application.
A beautiful woman opened the door to him. In a few words he explained the plan of action and
began to work. After completion, I began to adjust the computer.
And then the worst thing happened: the lunch gave itself to know and approached tightly.
to the "day" Through force, pouring seven sweats, he introduced all adjustments and,
Unable to withstand, she asked to go to the bathroom with shame.
Sitting in the room for a while, I felt relieved.
(From his words: I barely managed to run out of myself almost a strike, wiping out everything)
He returned to the computer, where the hostess was waiting for him with a smile and an offer to drink a beer.
Without long thinking, he agreed. Five minutes after he finished.
He was waiting for a cold bottle of beer and a pleasant evening of communication.
After sitting for a while, he gathered to the house, said goodbye and left.
Only he managed to move away from her house for 20 meters, he caught a phone call:
and alley!
Young man, you have forgotten.
(Looking at the baggage, trying to understand what) and what exactly?? to
The rubbish...

Ol, are you free on Thursday night?
WOW: What, do you have any suggestions?
Oh yeah yeah! and an anal billiard)
Thank you, I’ll be busy on Thursday.
Tag: banal
This is what I said...HD

XXX: I’m going to go to Belarus. Can you tell me, are there any underwater stones?
yyy: Dick ride on the road

This is how we live, I, the cat and the cactus.

I called her Kimmy, and the cactus Hitler.

The poor cactus. Why is it so?

XXX: He is a great commander

xxx: tries to conquer the whole world, but as a cactus it is very difficult for him

Lectures on DM (Details of Machines)
Prepod walked around telling how the reducer of the main engine on the ship died, and, in a rush of ecstasy, his gaze stopped at one of our students sitting at the first batch, it was difficult to look past: the child was 190 cm tall, and weighed from 120 kg...
In general, he approaches him and not from this, saves: @What do you look at me like this?, the student did not understand and asked: "How is it?".
"Like the grandmother who thinks of the h*s and spices"...

PS: I was under the age of 80.)

The boss drank a glass of vodka because he was driving and refused to take everyone because he was drunk.

Terminator: The Diplomatic Guy