EU: Where was your lazy ass today?
I: My lazy ass was sleeping.
EU: Again erotic fantasies about Natalie Portman in a purple night shirt?
I: No, this time I was a maniac killer. First I...
EU: Don’t tell me this!
I : really. It will not happen!

Blade: On a similar occasion, a familiar Uzbek professor in Samarkand told me in the early 1990s: “First, the golden heads of the Jews left us, then the golden hands of the Russians and the rest – the golden teeth of the Uzbek...

Blindly looking at the prescription, written by the doctor, with a deep grief in his voice gives out the phrase of the day: "Mlyaya...And what is this for a handwriting?! It’s not a handwriting, it’s a dumb cardigram of a dying man!..."

I was interviewed "for interview". I gave him an admin test. He successfully passed it and asked "and you give all the couriers such tests"?

Statement of the City Council)
On Saturday, October 6, the bridge will be opened from 12.00 to 15.00 for the completion of repairs. The passage of pedestrians will be free.

For the first time in his life, he ordered glasses.
The office feelings. It looks like the whole world is in HD.

The film Prometheus Pipetz is simple. It’s okay when the drama unfolds due to external circumstances. But to gather a dozen wanderers on a distant planet without instructions, subordination, powerful weapons, but with an oxygen firewall - it is a fail from the outset.

I’ve been stunned by people who think that having Apple products is a sign of cruelty.

The friends! Apple is not a sign of cruelty! We just live in a fucking country, and all!

Apple is making cheap products. That is why they are popular! Not in this shit, but in civilized countries. Where the new phone from Samsung costs $600, but do you know how much the iPhone costs? The newest model – $300, the second oldest – $200, and the third – $100. Now for $100 in the U.S. you can buy the iPhone 4 (respectively, for 200 - 4s, for 300 - 5th).

And that’s why consumers suffer the fucking iTunes, the missing multitasking until recently, cretinism, such as the removal of Google cards from the store, etc. Because the iPhone in the world is the phone of waitresses and mail couriers who are ready to tolerate its crushes for the sake of a sturdy body and fast work. Here’s all of your "crucial".

X-Thank you Skype for seeing you every day! And to you, for you smiling at me every day! I kiss you, good night!

I love you too :)
Don’t touch the fox.

x-BlYat Volodya, for you the girl didn't get the evening sms )))))))

X-That’s what I’ve gotten off at work today, it’s time to go home.))))
We’ll talk about it on Skype on Friday! :)
I kiss you strongly, I look forward to seeing you soon!

Listen to the romance, use your phone carefully.

X-Fuck I’ll remove you off ?

Freud: I would know what Jung and Freud actually wrote about. Isn’t it just sex?
Den Stranger: Do you understand what you said now? :D

The fucking. A resident of the city X was sentenced to 2 years in prison under the article “insulting the feelings of believers” for rejecting an Orthodox man and refusing to spend a night with him.
Oh, a very good surge. Today’s news is no better, and no education is visible.

I went to work today, a man stopped me, stretched a religious book and began to talk about religion. I answer him:
My religion is science and logic.
Your religion does not explain the creation of the world.
Listen, your religion doesn’t even explain the dinosaurs.

He turned and went on...
I should have seen the face of the crocodile :D

Leskata: at the stop of the day caught a bunch of sloppy eyes of men as she stretched the casket on the umbrella

Lorraine: This is today. I was stolen. A package was taken out of hand in the subway. The only thing in it was a container with 20 worms. Oh, how I’d like to see the thief’s face when he opens it :D

Never go back to the places where you felt bad. Never ask for someone who once refused. Don’t let someone who once hurt you.
I like

yyy: ah, don't go back to work, don't ask for deposits to understand and forgive, and don't let the dentists come to you.)))

Witch : and also dreamed that I adopted five children at once, from 4 to 14 years old...
I will no longer drink Teraphil at night.

Web racer: are you adding Angelina Joline to Teraflu?

XXX is yes? So what are the predictions?? to
YYY: Well, it had to be clean for women.
XXX is yes? Do you have a brainstorming colleague?
Don’t scream at your female colleague! If I have a bubble, that doesn’t mean that my sexual traits have fallen!

Only today I realized how many thoughts a woman has in her head at the same time.
A 50-year-old lady comes to me and says, “My column has fallen and my leg has broken. How much does an antenna cost?
She stopped not to laugh.

Comments from the news about
The Pirate Bay has 90 megabytes of content

XXX: And if these 90mb put in the form of a magnet link and put on torrents, then it will be possible to say that the piratebay content managed to fit in a short text (magnet link) with no archive!
YYY: You can go further and this magnet-link through the link shortener, then the entire thepiratebay will fit in 15 bytes :)
ZZZ: And hosting on the iPhone =)
AAA or Arduino.
BBB on paper.
CCC: in the form of QR code
DDD: Translate these bytes into notes and walk, whistle
EEE:Distribution of unlicensed software
FFF: Anyone will hear and also start whispering, p2p too
GGG: And then all singers will be fined for distributing unlicensed content.

Yesterday I met with my...
Stas: I decided to check - went into my room, threw the contents of the bed and the table on the floor.
Stas: A couple of minutes later, I went in, looked at the mess, and asked with a guilty voice, “Do I want to get rid of it?”
Stas: Her eyes burned with happiness and she replied without thinking "yes".
Stas: So he did - put on his shoes, put on the windshield and left the boundaries of the apartment.