ChiKa
The Indian speaks to the bull. “I dream of climbing the top of a tree,” she said, “but I have so little strength.” "Why shouldn’t you swear my mouth? - answered the bull, - it contains a lot of nutrients". The indian glued a bunch of dirt, and it really gave her enough strength to climb the bottom branch of the tree. The next day, having eaten again, she reached the second branch. Finally, on the fourth day, the turkey proudly sat on the top of the tree. There, a farmer noticed her and shot her with a gun. The moral of history: manipulation with shit can help you climb to the top, but it won’t keep you there.

Wwwwwwwwwww
It was necessary to knit a special shit to help escape the bullets.

Wwwwwwwwwww
The shit that Neo cried in the matrix.

A husband walks around the apartment with a cat in his arms and sings, “Look how nice the cat you live with is.”

Qwin: Okay, the guy is singing!
k03Mad: Well, in general, I can't tolerate rap, and this "I live on the seventh floor - it's like the sixth, only one higher" - generally hysterical...
Listen to his song today and tomorrow.
K03Mad: ughu, and the song there: tomorrow is like today, only a day later?

Linux community in its repertoire:

The question:
Error in installing this driver. Sorry to.
Please check out the journal for details: /var/log/jockey.log

The answers:
-może być, ja będę pisać tutaj po-polsku? How do I go to będe?

-還是中國

- TS, legi la regulojn de [reference]

- ĝi estas la ĉina aŭ japana?

You are all fucking here!

Captain of Evidence?

Aaa> I know of one such case. In the small town there were two PPS car patrols at night. We met at an absolutely empty intersection at four o’clock in the morning. One on the main, the other with the lighthouses...

XXX: I’ll try to get the money.
xxx: to copy

xxx: yes, by the way, Zhenya and Olya Pamfilova in a very interesting abbreviation is reduced))) Better I will be Akmolova
Take the double better. The puzzle will come together.

Q: Is your daughter going to get married?
WOW: No, all the bridesmaids override, will not be decided at all
What to pick them - all the same, well plus-minus a couple of centimeters

Yyy: - Dear, I have an idea to diversify our intimate life.
XXX: Do you want to invite a third?? to
YYY: No, my fantasies haven’t grown up yet. No need for a third!
XXX is mm. Can we invite the second? XD is
YYY: O_O

New short saying: "On arrival in Tahiti do not taite aunt titi, there is no reason to taite aunt titi in Tahiti" :D

Video on YouTube.
The ceremony took place in the sleeping area of the city, in the southeastern part of Kazan. There are no factories and industrial complexes nearby. The sound lasted about 5 minutes. The source of the sound came from everywhere; it was as if a giant metal was hovering under the ground or in the sky, I had never heard anything like that.

And the comments:
This is the alarm of Chuck Norris.

the variant of alkas with the pipe still in force? )

Looking at the pages of classmates I can’t remember how it happened that I was sitting in the same class for 5 years. All at least 5 years younger than me, judging by the survey data

The TV in the office was broken.
The system manager comes to him and from the threshold: "And you can watch TV"...

Today in the communal kitchen I saw a girl turning the cakes in a bowl with the NAILS...

0 O

Can I shoot in the street? Maybe, but don’t dance in the temple.

Zenit bought two blacks for 80 million euros. Two hundred years ago, black people could be bought for that money.

Real sociopaths make angry ones instead of diaries.

Russia is a generous soul.
I am once again fined by a camera in Leningrad (Moscow) for exceeding 20km. Allowed there 60, but no one goes so much, because the highway is still! Total of 600r. to the execution. Only from one of me. Take a calculator and imagine:
in a minute there cars 10 exceeds speed, so 10 cars X 60 minutes = 600 fines per hour!
600straff / hour X 10 hours (because the rest of the time of traffic jams and night, few cars) = 6,000 fines per day! 2,190,000 fines per year! Multiply by 300r. And we get the astronomical amount - 657,000,000 rubles! Only one camera.
And these cattle deputies are offering us to repair the roads for their blood, for donations!

You hate it, you hate it!

The dentists have a very specific sense of humor.
xxx: I went to a complicated operation today (removing wisdom teeth), so this scuco doctor first examined me for ten minutes, then philosophically said so, then added "nahuy".
WOW, and what is it?
HH: That is not all. Then he called the dentist from the neighboring office, and they both stood there for five minutes. Then they say to each other, “You see, and you have not said that. With you beer" It was two minutes and we split up.I was sitting.
Have your teeth done?
miha101: You can’t believe it...))) perfect)))

And what if the accountants have their website where they write about what sisadmines are stupid?