bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №70898
 02.10.2012
Two lines in the code:

#warning tyt ebanii bardak
To find a better solution

[ + 55 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70897
 02.10.2012
Chapter 1: The joke. Einstein, Newton and Pascal played hiding. Driving was Einstein. Pascal fled into the bushes, disguised himself, no man is seen at all, but Newton just stands. He painted a square around him and stood. Einstein counted to a hundred, turned around, saw Newton and shouted:
and Ura! I found Newton.
Newton smiled cleverly and replied:
Drop it out! This is Newton per square meter. You found Pascal!! to

Uzer-2: Went under the table for three hours.

Uzer-3: And I walked physics. I did not immediately understand the joke.

Uzer-4: Fuck and I didn't understand this joke, if Uzer-2 rolled for three hours, then I remembered the school course of physics for three hours.

Uzer-5: 1 Pa = 1 N/m2 ≡ 1 J/m3 ≡ 1 kg/(m·s2)

Uzer-4: Fuck, what is the clipboard?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №70896
 02.10.2012
OOO: But there is one problem.
We will all die, no problem, you
What??
You have always been able to encourage


[ + 39 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70895
 02.10.2012
Talked to a girlfriend (the girl is beautiful, only in her almost 20 virginity and not even kissed anyone, she is learning) about healthy eating:
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! The Cabbage!
I thought something...
When they go with a swallow...
Sperm has different tastes.
And it depends on what you have eaten, drunk, smoked, swallowed and so on in the last week.
It can be thirsty, sweet, bitter, acidic...
Now attention, how do I know?
Q: Have you tried?
WOW: Let’s say that was explained by Vlad, describing what the taste would be if there were certain foods. In this regard, there is a more important question - how does he know?! to

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №70894
 02.10.2012
I came to my grandmother, brought a pear, we talk for life, and there was some crack from under the table, rhythmically repeating. It turned out: a small cat bites a mouse - attention - caught in a mouse! That’s what cats have come to!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №70893
 02.10.2012
Angels are born and demons are married.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №70892
 02.10.2012
I usually come back late from work. Routes from the platform are no longer running, which makes it possible to make a small job with a narrow company of taxi drivers standing at the station. I know them all in the face, just as they know me. And my standard route is also remembered. I sat in the front seat as usual. He heard from the driver the standard "as usual?", cried in response and listened to a little story. Actually I share it.
He drove one man every day on the standard route. One day, he sees him accompanied by his wife and daughter. The man sits next to the driver. The rest are behind. Ask him by inertia:
As usual?
In the eyes of the wife, surprise and wild curiosity:
So... and as usual???? to
The man became red, greener, stood forward, did not shake. A bunch of thoughts, a sea of hypotheses, but all of them with the only outcome – put. Maybe the destination is not that. Maybe to send. It is possible to use this type of transport. Family is a dark affair, little studied by science. The unfortunate taxi driver, unwittingly found himself in the epicenter of the crash:
You sat down without saying a word. I have to say something, right? How do you hint that it would be good to name the destination?
The normal color is returned. In my wife’s eyes is a smile. has passed. The life continues.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №70891
 02.10.2012
Having learned that the KPRF faction would vote for the law on the protection of the feelings of believers, V.I. Lenin was tired of turning, he stood up and left.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №70890
 02.10.2012
Text of the corporate service report. The support:
The Director is granted RW the right to read and record the secretary’s personal ass for convenient exchange of necessary data for both.
The department is burning as always. :D

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №70889
 02.10.2012
Okay, how are you with your haha? Is it OK?
Oh no, I just became an atheist in terms of sex.
HH: How is it?
I stopped believing in his existence.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №70888
 02.10.2012

Your Samsung for 1500 r.
WOW: GAVNECO - it is glamorous AppleFon 5, and Samsung for 1500 p. - it is a murderous (if it is thrown) immortal stool

[ + 37 - ] [12 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70887
 02.10.2012
Comment to the news: "In the region established subsistence minimum pensioner"
Andrei Bayon: This would be a reality show. Ten deputies and officials are placed on the subsistence minimum. in the moon.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №70886
 02.10.2012
The morning was fun!
Listening to the horoscope promised a good day. I think, well, here I will be and really everything will go wrong, but in any case I decided to "check" - guess on the book of stories)) On the question "will this day be a good day?" hit my finger in "My joy, how do I know?!" ;))

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №70885
 02.10.2012
On the ozone I am looking for a book for my daughter: "Do and play. This is fun" The search gives the second number: "Under the beer and the shale. Rest now brother! Special selection of songs for a good rest.and"

[ + 58 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70884
 02.10.2012
When I was a child, I often played a game in the kitchen, when I helped my mom with lunch ''who would clean the potato faster'.which made me happy that I was always winning.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №70883
 02.10.2012
I will also test the myth that you can’t get drunk.
Yyy: Ok) there and Lisha wants to test and gene.
That is, if I drink I can’t worry that you will rape me, you will overweight)))
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Are you smiling? 😉
YYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №70882
 02.10.2012
XX: it turns out memory man is not the brain, the brain processes the current, like a processor
Where is the memory?
XX: in the DNA, in the nuclei of the cells of the whole organism, and therefore the fox knows what it is

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №70881
 02.10.2012
The husband who was leaving for a business trip could not even imagine how he made a cruel mistake when, at the train station, saying goodbye to his wife, not "To meet", but "Let's go!"

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №70880
 02.10.2012
XXX is
I don’t know where to get a mirror.
XXX is
Although many do not stop...

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №70879
 02.10.2012
B0JIK
I invented a new app for contact.)
It will be in 30-40 years.)

B0JIK (11:14:13 1/10/2012)
There will be an opportunity for grandmothers to leave a comment to any user. This comment will appear on the wall. typically "80 people think you’re a drug addict" ))))))))

B0JIK (11:15:11 1/10/2012)
And most importantly, this same comment will appear on the grandmother's friend's wall. Irina Petrovna considers this to be a drug addict. Do you agree?" )

B0JIK (11:15:51 1/10/2012)
In the end, all the contact will consist of drug addicts and prostitutes.)

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