bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70838
 01.10.2012
Real gynecological history (well at least, the record is real) on the form of the Russian-Israeli clinic:
Sexual life (from what age) - sexual life is denied
Pregnancy – 5
Birth - 2
Abortions - 1, s / v -2

However.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №70837
 01.10.2012
Introduction: Our relationship with our wife began without a candy-flower period - immediately after the first night and continues to this day.
A seven-year-old son once asked when I fell in love with his mother. I couldn’t answer, my wife came to help.
Well, it started, it lasted, it lasted, it lasted and suddenly - once! And everything is well...

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №70836
 01.10.2012
The fact that I’m a programmer doesn’t mean I know why you don’t run Word.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №70835
 01.10.2012
During the whole film, Dred never removed a helmet... Anyway, Bezrukov played it!

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №70834
 01.10.2012
I found a way to disable VKontakte advertising without any AdBlocker: I removed a friend's dofig, leaving 20 people... Now instead of advertising, the eggs of the removed look at me with silent reproach.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №70833
 01.10.2012
hebetat (15:02:52 30/09/2012)
I have a familiar advertiser. We recently met. He has three cats and two cats. They pick up and take care of them from the street. So they split up from him and reproduced so that he now speaks for the sake of their total weight and not the number)))

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №70832
 01.10.2012
Television kills love, the internet kills sex.

[ + 81 - ] Comment quote №70831
 01.10.2012
The acquaintance removed an apartment in the ordinary altitude on the outskirts. There was a rookie aunt working there. Capturing several sections at once, she exemplaryly and with impressive power waved with a butt, then a spade, playing to move the garbage tanks and, it must be admitted, kept the courtyard in envious purity.
And my acquaintance was scattered and, like many intelligent people, completely innocent in his hometown. That is, the paper clearly flew in the direction of the urn, but almost never got into it. And then one day he went out to smoke on the balcony, thought about the eternal, and automatically threw the hose down. Six in the morning. It shines. the countryside. Silence, rare cars and no human signs.
A few minutes later, a bell ringed at the door. Surprised the chicken opened the door and stumbled by a huge dark figure. The figure humorously said, “Good morning,” and stretched a fresh bowl in a clean plastic bag. A friend timidly took a bag and shouted, “Thank you...”
"Next time - without a bag and in the ass," said the figure and went on his business.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №70830
 01.10.2012
Do I understand correctly that Muslims are burning embassies in protest against a movie that says they are burning embassies?

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №70829
 01.10.2012
A minute before death is a good.
YYY: Have you tried or did?
ZZZ: It looks like it’s alive, so I didn’t really try it! and :-)

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №70828
 01.10.2012
Interview on an anonymous website
1 – Anonymous
2 – My acquaintance

How do you feel about anal sex?
2: positive, but only if it happens between two men, and I am the operator :)
1 ended the conversation

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №70827
 01.10.2012
I saw a picture of Jackie Chan with his son.
The first thought: "like"
The second thought: "I would not have been like, they are Chinese".

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №70826
 01.10.2012
My cat learned to turn off the computer
YYYY: through sudo shutdown -h?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №70825
 01.10.2012
C Hubra, a survey about what is in your company
Galakart: And in our company the best firewall is the sincere wall of misunderstanding from the bosses:
“Why do you need this internet?”
“What is it with you? The Modem? The internet what? Clean it out!”

The way out of the situation is one... A cell phone operating in the access point mode and distributing 3G-inets, and unnoticeable wifi whispers attached to computers. Very developed side vision.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №70824
 01.10.2012
There are two antons in our room.
XXX: And Lenny, That Another Anton

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №70823
 01.10.2012
XXX: An elite car in traffic jams, the same as a child’s pedestrian: there is a steering wheel, sound buttons and strange lights.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №70822
 01.10.2012
Comments on the teaser of the new Russian "blockbuster":

Date of Release 13.13? 13 years, 13 months and 13 months?

WOW: It’s not so bad. I think there could have been “75: 48: 016” or “9: Mandarin: Square” with the same success.

[ + -3 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70821
 01.10.2012
I passed IQ Test, score 62, I work as the head of the IT department, whether to rejoice or cry...

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №70820
 01.10.2012
From the discussion of new material for 3D printing

The house can already be printed, the tree now too. We are waiting for the printer for the printers.
YYY: Now you can print Buratino!

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №70819
 01.10.2012
When I met my husband, I once asked him:
Why are they all married and I am not?
He looked at me so much and killed the drunkard:
Maybe Rosie didn’t come out.


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