I watch the current user session - there I...
A small trembling...
I ask you, girl, what is your password?
The girl answers me and calls me MY!!! The Password!! 12 characters, numbers, letters, special symbols.
I am humiliated and insulted.

= = = is = is = is = is = is

Man, quickly drag her to the ZAGS (or just live to yourself). It is destiny.

He brought me a book of recipes and listed those I needed to learn how to cook.
And I bought Kam-Sutra... I sit, I note)

c) VK

While my wife was on a business trip, I upgraded my iPad to iOS 7. Upon returning, the wife asked me which of my asses I had cut out for a new toy and where I was doing old things. Informed about the update, I heard in response:
Is it just a new window?
And you know what? My world remained the same, I did not make a handcuff, did not struggle in hysteria, did not shine with intelligence... To a man far from gadget interests, I simply replied in a language understandable to him:
Well, you can say that...

Boss: Our customers are old brainless pearls, so they need to be treated with respect and understanding

A drunk, sleeping friend at a party.
Just don’t talk about me this time!

List of universe smokers:
We live in a free country.
Great, and I am in Russia.

One bad programmer creates two jobs a year. c) Habrahabr

xxx: Tonight you go for a walk on HD guys don't narve)))
What is the "HD boy"?
XXX is very good ?

Sometimes you don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
The news "rejoice"
At night, a resident of the village of Borisoglebsky (Yaroslavsk region) named Anna began fighting, and at half five in the morning she called an ambulance to be transported to the nursery. However, the old "Gazel" could not get to the village due to bad weather conditions... Feeling the fighting, immediately began to act according to the plan. They and their husband set fire to the fire, called a fire car and drove to the nearest nursery: the snowed road stretched to him for 150 kilometers.
Oh Russia...

Xxx: You should be more careful. Did you hear that all the correspondence is read by the intelligence services?
YYY: Let them read, I have nothing like that in conversations, maybe even useful. In the previous job, two of the WBs significantly increased their IQ by reading my correspondence.

Today is clearly my day!
YYY: What happened?
The boss in vacation, now no one to scream at me, from work went to the store where there was no queue, the forever broken elevator in the house worked.
The most important thing was waiting for me at home.
Did your wife have a headache?
HGH is better!
WOW :?
The opera’s wife to 12 versions rejected!
You have a good life, congratulations!

metalltouch: and they (English) cat - "this"(It)
metalltouch: "feed this"
Doberman Silver: I have a picture right in front of my eyes: night, a family couple in bed. She turns to Him and sleepily asks, “Have You fed This?” The camera leaves and we see a terrible monster standing near the bed (such as Slenderman) chewing something bloody. He clutches his eyes, turns to her, embraces her waist, and breathes lightly: “Don’t worry, dear, she has fed herself.

xxx: but somebody knows famous black programmers
by Miles Bennett Dyson :)
xxx: thin

Russia is a country of unlimited possibilities. Only here can you exceed the limit of unlimited internet!

xxx: The disgusting men who spread their feet in public transportation, I want them all to move in the same way!

Yyy: Then there will be no room on the streets (

I sit in a cafe with a friend with whom we are doing a big project. I have a website, including design. We discuss all the nuances of this not easy business. Suddenly a 13-year-old girlfriend calls. In the dialogue:
Mom, where are you?
In the cafe
And with whom?
With Borey?
With which?
Which website does the project.
The one who made the hat for the website?
Yes, that is the same!

I changed my hat that same night.

I just learned the most shocking truth in 12 years of life together.
It turns out, curtains in one room cost 45 thousand, and in the other - 50 thousand. The ruble!

to this:

I ask you, girl, what is your password?
The girl answers me and calls me MY!!! The Password!! 12 characters, numbers, letters, special symbols.
I am humiliated and insulted."

It is destiny. Now you have to marry her. Or it’s on you.

Arthem
What is the woman with such beautiful eyes doing?

Elena
by Jura

All pregnancy behaves adequately, I do not know and do not demand the impossible.
But this morning nature decided to take off.
A task for my husband:
I want to eat something pink.