bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №88854
 26.10.2013
(They are
We sit, we drink, men, from 37 to 47 years old, five.
Talk about life, problems and other serious things.
“Dota, it’s not a game, it’s shit,” one said.
Everyone agreed.
“I play Red Alert,” I said.
They looked at me incomprehensively.
Basars went for the devil, planes, dancers and so on.
I am playing in the stock market! Jacob said.
And everyone silenced.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №88853
 26.10.2013
When evil is lacking on everyone, focus on a particular person.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №88852
 26.10.2013
It was a story about a computer company and a hard drive from October 23.
Everybody knows that Bernard Shaw once visited a restaurant whose service he did not like very much. Then he said to the manager of the restaurant, “Please embrace me for goodbye.” “Are you going somewhere?”
The show answered. You will never see me again in this restaurant.
So then history. In 1999, after the crisis of 98, having failed to cope with the difficult economic situation, I was forced to emigrate outside the ICAD (to the village, to my aunt in Saratov) and even further to Yoshkar-Olu. The computer I had at the time was quite decent: the second pen was scaled up to 450 da a screw of 10 (!)GB. I was doing digital video. And here, as for sin, a screw is covered. It covers dumb. You have to buy a new one. I go to the local computer. The company on the letter A. So and so, I say, I need a 20GB screw. No, they say not 20, but there are 40. It is a peach! Take it, you will not miss it! Only 150 killed. If you insist, I will take it.
I come home, I connect the screw - oh! The screw is not visible in the bios! The cloud. The next morning I go to A and apparently thinking that I have the right to say, "the screw is not determined, either give another, or put the money in the ass!" And so calmly they say to me, “Oh, lucky! The screw on our comp is visible, and that you have such a fig (tomato) mother, it is your problem! If you want, buy us a wonderful new mother! Just a peach!” And I say to them: "And in general, in decent firms, the return of the goods within 3 days without explaining the reasons..." And they are so cultural to me: "And we are not especially disappointed!"
and so on. I remembered Bernard Shaw, said goodbye to them and went to a different computer to solve my problems. The Firm.
5 years have passed. At that time, I became the head of an IT credit institution. Of course, the purchase of equipment lay on my narrow shoulders. From time to time, representatives of various companies came to me with offers of cooperation. And then one day another manager comes to us and tells us about the brilliant prospects of cooperation between our credit institution and the computer firm A. Then I look with my thoughtful eyes into his, full of hope, and quietly and sadly tell him the above story.
And when he left the room, I clearly felt that there was still supreme justice on earth. It only takes a very long time to wait for its manifestation, life may not be enough.

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №88851
 26.10.2013
The advice on a women’s forum, clearly from the blonde: “Speed him a little mustard powder in his trousers. If he complains about itching and burning, then honest; if not, then he betrays." I did not confess anything! Silently, I first broke my nose and then went to the venereologist.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №88850
 26.10.2013
XX: Hello to everyone. Sorry for a categorical off-top. Could someone recommend refrigerator repair?
YY: 8-029-XXXXXXX Nikolai It’s really good, it’s like a washing machine. Suddenly the refrigerators
ZZ: And the cars are not expensive)))
VV: and the sewing cars?)))
Q: Is it possible to have teeth?
Is the surgeon good?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №88849
 26.10.2013
From the discussion on AppleInsider

Monster Beats: Microsoft has too many bugs and it can afford to make mistakes somewhere. Apple, a couple of years of mistakes and will go away from the same distance as Nokia.

Paranoik: Okay, okay, let’s sleep and take a pill.

Monster Beats: Yes, I’m so calm, judging by nick, it’t bother you with pills

Paranoid: Do not judge people by nickname, you are headphones at all.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №88848
 26.10.2013
The city, the address of the clinic and the phone of the doctor - give regret.

Oh yeah sheez! So that she’t break through afterwards?! to

The law of female happiness: find your own gynecologist, dentist and hairdresser, and most importantly, don't tell anyone about them ;-)

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №88847
 26.10.2013
I am at home, baby.
I am still at work, eb-eb :(

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №88846
 26.10.2013
Oh, it’s an awkward feeling when you watch a video with a guy, get to know a famous porn actress and gladly tell him about it. He doesn’t even know (
YYY: Are you about Lisa Anne in the Hollywood andDad clip?
THANK YOU, MASH! Even if you understand me!
WOW: It’s not me, it’s my dad who learned it ><


[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №88845
 26.10.2013
Smily: Yesterday I sent you my resume. Some missed numbers are unknown. and tk. I missed the phone calls, I won’t call back :D
Volchara: I had to give someone else’s number right away so they didn’t get into calls.
Smily: really :-(

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №88844
 26.10.2013
Anny: What about Virtue? and ;)
Ganelon: I come to you and open your refrigerator.

[ + 32 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №88843
 26.10.2013
here here :

I read all this shit and am amazed.
Admins of the type should work in the accounting office, and the accountant to raise the servers.
Here we have a shit in the country from the fact that people are engaged in shit and whistleblowing, not their profession!
___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
And only electricians know that accountants and administrators are nothing without their electricity! =) is

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №88842
 26.10.2013
Gazprom has ordered the construction of the largest office building in our small Ural-Siberian town. Beautiful glass, transparent building in 20 floors. Specialists from Dubai. By Dubai, of course technology. This is a harsh Siberian winter, and what? Rightly, under the unexpected pressure of severe Siberian frosts in the 1940s, this entire Dubai mud froze to the dogs. The offices were completely empty, nobody wanted to rent a clearly empty room, although it was a bonus and there was a beautiful view of the snowed city. The second winter is approaching. The building is dismantled almost to the skeleton, sealed, wrapped and insulated as much as possible. This is Russia, baby 😉

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №88841
 26.10.2013
How did a 7-year-old girl find herself in a hotel where children under 18 are not allowed?
It did not seem to be developed over the years.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №88840
 26.10.2013
The perfect engineers of the ring line do not pay a salary. Their work is zero.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №88839
 25.10.2013
What does TS mean? A stupid fool? Their light? Creator of discussion? and ;)
The Topic Starter. But your options talk about funny opinions about locals.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №88838
 25.10.2013
Let’s continue with the names.

At the beginning of the century in Deportivo from the glorious city of La Coruna played two comrades - Cisco and Piscu. In the "Valladolid" ball pin Sisi when he got a serious injury, it was difficult to keep from the title "Valladolid lost Sisi for six months". Fragment of the commentary game "Arsenal" - Nasri on Arshavin!
In "Granada" a certain Hassan Yebda plays. "Ball with the ball"
In Russia played Polish Mariusz Yop. "Yop, how dangerous it is!"
In the national team of Romania was Mariusz Popa. "Semshov broke through the gates, but hit right into Pop".

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №88837
 25.10.2013
This is:

What do you know about the methods of educating women?
Yesterday my husband asked me how much I earn a month, found out that it was little compared to him.

As a result - deprived of sex for 2 months, until I start bringing decent money to the house.

That’s what I know, a strategist.
And not these your "shubs" and "toffles"...

He obviously has someone to do this for two months.
Try to finance better.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №88836
 25.10.2013
NoGuar
Why do you have a cat in the car?

inkling
We went for vaccination.

NoGuar
AAAA

NoGuar
Are you afraid to get vaccinated without a cat?

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №88835
 25.10.2013
Gusly (20:29:33 23/09/2013)
Lenka and Hi! How are you in the mist? (I conduct a scientific survey, I ask everyone, I study the reaction I need to answer the question "how are you there, in the fog?" in a figurative way.

Chertovka (20:58:40 23/09/2013)
Am I in the mist? I am in the mist. The air almost doesn’t roll, it’s pulling and sticky like a lengthy mouthpiece. Thoughts flow smoothly only three themes - Work, Love, Tomorrow. With her, everything is clear.Take the arrows from the cupidon and give him a p$d so that the fox thinks before shooting.Work.Why think about it!You don't work - live for nothing.You work for nothing.Bla - live for no time.But tomorrow - it is already something. These are perspectives! It is the beginning of something new. Yes to! But not at me. For me, as usual, the next day is cooking pizza, pizza and chocolate.What do yogis usually do in the fog? They don’t think of every kitchen like Guslar.Guslar cries: “Wrushadka!Wrushadka! "And I’m like a fool rushing to write all sorts of scribes.

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